Savusavu Fiji
Ok guys.
I actually learned this lesson. I graduated from it.
I know this because reading the reviews below triggered nothing in mind save a calm, relaxed, detached emotion.
First off, thank you James and Sherry for buying the eBook.
You guys rock for that.
Thank you both for dropping reviews.
Customers who offer feedback can (and do) give clarity to future customers.
James believed that the eBook met his expectations. He thinks that it is well worth the price.
Sherry believed that the eBook did not quite meet her expectations; she dug the inspiration, links to successful blogs but had reservations about the instructions on how to actually get started when you feel confused.
Who is right? No one.
Who is wrong? No one.
Who harbors a *public* opinion of the book?
Well, for starters:
- Me Ryan Biddulph
- James
- Sherry
James and Sherry shared their feedback in a public setting. I wrote it; I carry an opinion because I proved the life through my experience and documented the life through my eBook.
Now…..before anyone buys the eBook through my blog I list the chapters below:
Introduction
Chapter 1: Blog to Free You: NOT to Make Money
Chapter 2: Target 1 Audience
Chapter 3: MSI or You Die
Chapter 4: Build a List or You Will Be Pissed
Chapter 5: Profits Rest in Stories, Valuable Stories
Chapter 6: Make Friends in High Places
Chapter 7: Mimic the Millionaires
Conclusion
I do this so that an individual:
- formulates expectations
- knows clearly what they are buying
But no one has figured out how to make another human being see what we want them to see, expect what we want them to expect, and think what we want them to think.
Sherry is partially accurate; the eBook is not the typical page 1 Google fodder for “how to start a blog”. Agreed. I laid out the 7 steps to build a full time income earning blog as the title then list the 7 steps via the Blogging From Paradise eBook product page. She expected me to cover “how to start a blog for newbies” within the steps. I did not according to her expectations. She gave my read 3 stars versus 5 along with a kind explanation of some inspirational nuggets and successful blogging examples to follow.
So what is the blogging lesson of lessons?
Nice people sometimes harbor different expectations of your products and services. Unhappy people sometimes harbor different expectations of your products and services. Sherry is nice. Unhappy people sometimes say not so nice things about my products. 🙂
Do you want to make money blogging peacefully?
Do your best job possible laying out a clear promise, practical steps to fulfill the promise then psychologically detach from money-outcomes and feedback from customers.
Ballpark, it took me no less than 15 years to psychologically detach from money-outcomes and customer feedback to NOT take either/or personally.
Why?
Unconsciously, I suffered great fear, pain and flat out rage at being psychologically, physically and sexually abused as a little kid. I ran away from those horrific emotions in my mind, pushing the maelstrom way outside of my awareness.
Customers or readers would come along and offer feedback. Anyone who disagreed with me or offered biting, nasty feedback triggered these thoughts/feelings in my unconscious mind vomited to consciousness:
“Watch out! Danger! Threat! Monster! Attack has happened! More attack seems imminent! Attack them! Defend yourself! Make fun of them! Tell them that they are the problem! Criticize them! That way, they will run away and stop hurting you, attacking you and ruining your innocence.”
The lesson was painful psychologically; being criticized felt like an attack every time. I hated that feeling. Disagreeing but polite folks registered the same unconscious reply on my part. I hated that feeling too. As an unpleasant bonus, I did not drive nearly as much traffic and make nearly as much money as I likely should have because I played small. I played small to hide my blog, eBooks and online course for sale. Hiding everything lessened the chance of receiving negative reviews. I would see less constructive criticism as fewer folks knew about my blog. Phew! Blessed relief!
The liberation came as I:
- observed
- felt
- psychologically forgave
this fear-based, unconscious mental series of tapes running in my mind for decades.
I know I released the mental poison because I feel relaxed:
- before reading feedback
- while reading feedback
- after reading feedback
The fear is gone. The attack is gone. Someone shares their thoughts based on their expectations now. I am not scared of that at all. I do it all the time myself.
Naturally, I do not hide my eBooks too much these days. Nor do I hide my blog.
The thoughts of others are no longer an assault on me. I do not see reviews as attacks but expectations.
That feels really good.
I may learn from feedback.
Or I may not learn anything from feedback.
I recall someone dropping a one star review on this eBook:
How to Retire to a Life of Island Hopping through Smart Blogging
saying that it was just me talking about walking dogs on the beach.
I could not be more transparent in laying out 100’s of practical tips spanning 67 PDF pages over 11 clearly titled chapters.
She expected to hate me, skipped reading the book, dropped a 1 star review and her dreams came true! 😉
I did not take that one personally because I learned nothing from it, being a personal grievance and having nothing to do with a highly practical, thorough guide. The world is a backboard for the frightened and a fascinating classroom for others. That will never change; no sense in getting bothered about it.
That is what you learn on this blogging journey; face fears in mind to dissolve psychological attachments from customer feedback.
Being detached lets you proceed peacefully.
Hit the mark with your premium work.
Lay out everything clearly to align reader expectations.
Let the rest go.
Prosper peacefully.
