Nizwa Oman
I recall enjoying lunch with an internet marketer during my world travels.
We met in Thailand.
He lived there as an expat.
As the world judges it, he experienced sweet success. Unassuming, you would never guess it. Yet I knew his metrics and overall success exceeded the norm.
Anyway, he shared one tidbit that stuck out to me at the time. Not only did the idea throb in my mind after he shared it, I felt a dull pain set in while meditating on it. Why? I too suffered from the same mental blogging malady. I fell prey to the same goldang blogging problem.
The highly successful internet marketer became severely bothered any time *one* subscriber unsubbed from his list. He feared loss. Loss irked him. He wondered why the gain became loss. I do not believe the guy pored over this unsub for hours yet the loss of even one human being genuinely bothered this thriving internet marketer. He mentally threw himself for a loop over the inevitable loss all people experience on a level of form.
That’s a problem.
I’ll tell you why.
Focusing on the fear of loss prevents the abundance of gain.
Where your attention and energy goes, grows. Concentrating on loss grows loss in your experience.
I suffered like hell with this one. I still need to guard against the insane idea that anyone can actually lose in a universe of abundance. Gain is all that exists. Loss is a temporary, illusory, mental state.
But this reality did not feel true to my mind for vast stretches. I felt inspired. I created inspired content. I then noticed – in my mind of course – some form of loss or many forms of loss. Feeling bummed about losing, I ditched inspiration, struggled and floundered for a while.
I topped doing what gradually increased:
- organic trafficÂ
- blogging income
because of the mental poison seeping into my conscious mind and unconscious mind.
I struggled because I unconsciously feared losing a single soul. Fearing loss prevented me from thinking, feeling and behaving like a blogger who experiences exponential gain. Struggles follow. Failure follows. Believe you me, each did, for me, at least for some stretches of my blogging career.
Example from My Blogging Career
Inspiration told me to increase social media content volume many blogging moons ago (We’re talking years ago, folks).
I did.
But after 1 or 2 days my mind focused on the net loss of friends or followers resulting from an increased posting schedule.
Instantly, my fears equated giving freely with losing success.
What do you think followed?
I stopped giving freely – temporarily at least – which of course made it tougher to get much traffic and blogging income.
I felt frustrated.
Why did I struggle?
Oh yeah; I held back because unconscious terror in my mind feared losing even one friend or one follower. I blogged like someone scared to lose even a tiny bit. My mind told me that giving freely equated to losing. I stopped giving freely. I became stingy. Frustrations followed.
From my blog, to social media content to engagement, I became so terrified to lose even a tiny bit that I severely held back for blogging stretches. Suffering followed.
I eventually conquered this mental malady by looking directly at it, square in the eyes.
You too will need to look closely at your mind to solve the problem where it exists.
No amount of hard blogging work solves this one.
This problem is purely internal.
This problem is not at all external.
You cannot get over what is still in you, can you?
Facebook Example
As of this publish date, I generated 40,000 views for my Ryan Biddulph profile on Facebook. Consider that a 4000% (yes; 4000 percent) increase from the prior 28 days.
Why?
I spotted, felt and looked past the injurious mental pattern of “publishing a crap load of content means engagement loss” sitting in my mind to publish a crap load of content for 28 days.
Cool things happened. Interestingly enough, gain equaled gain. My views jumped 4000% to 40,000. My engagement jumped too. Conquering my fear of loss led to gain on the platform. I created more content. I pushed the envelope. I gained.
I did spot the illusion of some loss but did not fear it. I did not feel bad if my net follower count dropped – it did – or a few friends unfriended me (they did). Why did I feel peaceful about these illusions of loss? I faced, felt and looked past the concept of Facebook loss in my mind. I had to do the inner work to do the outer work. Doing the outer work netted a 4000% view increase and engagement rise as well.
What About You?
Bloggers who *gain* a heavy volume of organic traffic and blogging income never ever ever deeply fear *losing* one email subscriber.
Both do not match.
Bloggers who fear losing one email subscriber blog:
- timidly
- terrified
- stingily
- being enslaved by their own fear of loss
Look closely at your metrics even if it hurts.
Do you fear loss?
Your metrics usually reflect that fear of losing quite accurately.
I had to do it; sure didn’t hurt me and it certainly didn’t hurt Blogging From Paradise Dot Com.
Nobody gets ahead in the world by refusing to look at the mental patterns holding them back.
Big giving equals big gain.
Little giving equals little gain.
No giving equals no gain.
I do not mean 1:1 on a level of form.
I mean being truly helpful consistently as your predominant state of mind.
I did not generate 40,000 Facebook views in 1 day. I generated 40,000 Facebook views over 28 days by publishing 10-15 updates daily for 28 days. Prior, I published 2-3 updates daily because I feared hitting a higher daily volume would trigger heavy loss of views, engagement and friends. Facing, feeling and looking past that fear in my mind organically inspired me to publish 10-15 updates daily to my profile.
Everything happens organically by doing the inner work. Organic actions feel calming not distressing.
You begin to see clearly and say to yourself in a good-natured fashion:
“Wow! I really have been in my own way, haven’t I?”
