Kendal England
I wrote this post a while back ->
I have been a basketball fan for 45 years. Yeah I’m older than you figured. I played through community college. My career was OK. I never developed enough confidence to become successful as the hoops world judges it.
Anyway, I know basketball fairly well. One Nike AAU team lined me up to be an assistant coach before pulling the plug on the team at the last minute. AAU basketball is a big business in the States. Every top sneaker company invests huge amounts of money to find the next Jordan, Lebron or Kobe during their teenage years. One scouting service pegged me to join their staff before I became a full-time globe trotter.
The blog post above explains how 2 of the 3 greatest basketball players of all time missed the most shots of all time in the NBA. Lebron James and Kobe Bryant sit at #1 and #2 on that list.
Thousands of other NBA players who came and went harbored a secret or obvious terror: most seem afraid to miss shots. Most fear looking like a loser. Most fear failure more than Michael Jordon, Lebron, Kobe or any of the all-time greats.Â
I do not condemn pro ballers who never reached the pinnacle. I admire ’em for reaching the NBA level.
But you reach the top only by conquering the fear of failure to a greater extent than everyone else in your niche.
What happens when you do not really fear failure? Forget about being free to succeed. That’s just the beginning of the process. You will win. You will thrive. Nothing will stop you, including the dreaded fear of failure.
Yet developing a supernatural level of transparency in a world terrified to “look bad” cultivates a monk-like peace of mind. Okay; maybe you will not immediately exude the aura of an ascended master but your fear of looking like a fraud definitely vanishes because you will tell the rest of the story.
Shame exits your mind.
Embarrassment dissolves from your mind.
Peace of mind takes over.
My Deal
I share wins. I share losses. I share everything in between.
If someone claims me to be a fraud I have already shared it all here. I hide nothing. Doubts projected by fraud finders have nothing to do with my transparency. I keep peace of mind because I let it all hang out.
THAT is why sharing blogging losses is critical.
How can you feel like a fraud if you hide nothing?
How can a fraud seeker bother you if your peace of mind from sharing it all grows to epic levels?
Someone says: “You lie because you do not succeed!”
You shared successes, losses and everything in between. You told the truth. Their illusion has no bearing on your peace of mind. You sleep well at night. You rest well during the day. You fear not critics because you are transparent.
My Only “Secret”
Over nearly 2 decades, I stressed this point hundreds of times:
I stopped talking about it a decade ago because I reached this goal years before a decade ago. Anyone who questions that can go fly a kite during a lightning storm underneath the clock tower in “Back to the Future”.
I reached a certain blogging goal a long time ago. Readers asked me how I reached that goal. I subsequently shared wins, losses and practical strategies for reaching that goal.
I never share specific numbers because I have no interest in gaining the attention of:
- greedy bloggers
- desperate bloggers
- alphabets
Minus this wise “secret” (which is not because I reached the goal a long time ago), it is a purely open eBook here.
Share Losses
Share blogging losses.
Stop puffing yourself up for a while.
Deflate the illusion.
Gain credibility.
Earn trust.
Be transparent.
Share how you f*cked up to prove that one can succeed while screwing up sometimes.
I stare closely at images shared by successful bloggers on social media. I peruse their blogs. I scour page 1 results on Google and YouTube. I say to myself:
“How the hell does a new blogger believe that *this* is realistic?”
I never condemn bloggers for sharing only highlights. I do not harshly judge bloggers for making blogging sound like an easy gig that requires only 4 simple steps to follow per month to a 5 figure income. AI blogging? Plug, play and make 10K a month? What is the easy way? What is the quick way? Google will fire that up for ya. YouTube will serve that up for ya.
Using these tactics, conveying these images and manipulating foolish bloggers is *technically* OK but it is not true.
Sharing only dreamy upsides for deluded new bloggers only strengthens their delusions. Transparency dies because those pros f*cked up and still f*ck up by sharing only the wins.
Not sharing the whole story is in fact a mistake.
It’s a screw up.
The Solution
Share the rest of the blogging story.
Talk about your:
- losses
- corrections
- frustrations
- solutions
Never turn your blog into a pity party; this post is no invitation to air grievances because the blogging gods pissed in your beer.
Share losses then how you won. Or share losses and how you plan to win.
Pick readers up; do your best not to let them down and keep them down with your indulgences.
Blogging is tough sometimes. But your readers want solutions not a full focus on problems.
Sharing losses just gives readers a successful example who messed up and still won.
The Biggest Benefit
I noted it before, but establishing full peace of mind by clearing your conscious is the ultimate upside to sharing your blogging losses.
Convey an image of successful imperfection.
Screw up here and there on your way to the top.
Give bloggers an honest assessment of what it takes – including facing some bumps on the blogging road – to thrive.
I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
Establishing peace of mind is no small gift.
Ask any blogger who fears being outed as a fraud.
Sharing ups and downs tends to attract realistic readers to your blog.
Realistic readers appreciate your transparency.
None seem all too interested in calling an honest person a bald-faced liar.
Tell the rest of the blogging story.
