 Three Rivers California
Now this post is a little different from me, eh?
I suffered immeasurably based on a simple fact hardwired into the world.
Life is unfair by default for most because the deck stacks against us.
OK; before we proceed I need to warn you.
People today call this “triggering” I think.
But I need to go there. Otherwise I would not be covering the topic genuinely from my perspective.
Life is unfair for most because few get off to a fun, freeing and privileged start. But changing your mind about life instantly creates a peaceful feeling in the mind. You laugh instead of taking things seriously. Or you remain calm amid the appearance of injustice. “Unfair” does not become “fair”. Trying to force this perspective is a study in insanity. Tell a starving family in a developing nation they need to nut up, work hard and see the “fairness” in their overwhelming conditions. Yeah; that’s called *being an asshole*.
Nope. I do not mean THAT.
I mean changing your mind about the unfair conditions of life to instead perceive vehicle-opportunities to drive out of hell.
The moment things are no longer unfair or fair but a mental opportunity to leave fear, pain and suffering behind for good you will begin cooking with gas in this world. Guaranteed.
On to my blogging story.
My Deal
People around me showered me with love most of the time during my childhood.
I experienced what the world called a good life growing up.
But through a very unfair series of circumstances I did not ask for or deserve, some temporarily suffering folks abused me in various ways. I did not face the emotional trauma for most of my life. I buried it. I pushed the feelings deep down into the unconscious. Of course I acted out these unconscious thoughts repeatedly over decades. No matter how hard you work NO ONE out foxes the unconscious mind.
Here’s how it fucked up my blogging career for a long time.
I feared disappointing:
- loyal readers
- caring customers
because I remembered the good old scenario of my childhood. Disappoint someone whom you cherish. Get yelled at. Get beaten. No kid deserves that; definitely unfair. But I followed this script for my adult life versus mentally facing, feeling then changing my mind about the experiences. I felt terrified to lose caring relationships. I created emotional barriers around myself. I also cut people off fast if anyone disagreed with me. THE BEATING WAS COMING!!! Unconsciously, however insane, I really thought and behaved this way.
The struggles I faced for years felt as frustrating as hell. I did everything right on a blogging level of form. What else could I do? The metrics dropped because I was so afraid of the love required to build a loyal tribe and consistently expanding blogging business. I kept folks at arm’s length. I feared disappointing friends, disagreeing with friends and the ultimate abuse that *had* to be arriving after.
I looked deep within my mind to see the light bulb:
“I am so afraid of disappointing people who loved me mostly because inevitable abuse in an imperfect world definitely comes next.”
I faced, felt and released inner trauma to be free of it. I am still working on it.
I let people in now. I accept worldly success. I respect different viewpoints. I appreciate straight feedback. I do not feel threatened by love. I appreciate you guys on a level I never have because I did the inner work.
Again; I am still working on looking past various elements of unfairness and cheating. Changing your mind is a long process.
The World Will Always Be Ridiculous
Training my mind in this way helped me look past the ridiculous nature of the world. Some cheat and appear to win. But the temporary cheaters usually fade fast. Others game the system to fail miserably. Large media within the system do dishonest things. Massive profits await even if they lie. Massive portions of the world trust major media even as the big outlets lie to individuals.
If you do not face trauma in your mind you will victimize yourself to the blogging “cheaters” out there.
Sometimes the trauma appears to be quite traumatic. Other times it seems to be almost nothing.
But if the irritation arises in the mind that is where to fix it. Otherwise, the annoyance remains because the world cannot change in appreciable ways. The world is scripted. Perhaps it is a multiple choice script with some wiggle-room.
What can you change?
You can change your mind about the world.
How?
Facing, feeling then looking past inner fears festering in the mind.
Admittedly, this process sucks at first. But it gets easier with mental practice.
The more you do it the easier it becomes to conquer your fears. Conquering your fears allows you to perceive madness, unfairness and seeming cheaters with a calm sense of confidence. None of those folks or entities are in your tribe most of the time, at least. Eventually, you look past them completely to focus on genuine human beings who value your blog. That’s your tribe. You co-create success for all with these individuals.
Trying to Change the World (Not Your Mind) Frustrates You Forever
I wrote for a blog with one million readers once.
I submitted a guest post on taking control of your mind to become free.
One line mentioned “taking full mental responsibility” for your life.
The editor told me to remove those specific words. He could then publish the post.
I thanked the individual and stopped writing for the million readers because the people who ran the blog did not want the million readers to be completely free. I considered it to be highly unfair to those people. How far can personal development go by blaming the world and not looking within the mind as the source of your experiences?
Buddha was no fool. The historical Jesus was no idiot. Both knew like all wise minds that the experience occurs within the mind. Change happens within.
The folks running that blog definitely cheated the readership.
I moved on peacefully because despite my foibles, I do not cheat people. I share my perspective. I share my experiences however raw it appears to be for you.
The world appears to be bullshit sometimes because it is topical but solutions are internal.
Bloggers take external actions based on the internal mind. The process never reverses.
Is Grievance-Airing Part of the Process?
Hell yeah it is.
Allowing feelings to surface in the mind is how to clear emotions.
I still blame the world at times. I forgive myself for doing it though, eventually.
I also spotlight the ridiculousness of this place through my blog, online course and eBooks. In moments I feel an injustice surface. In other moments I feel peaceful.
You Cannot Control the World But Can Control How You Think About it
The moment you think differently about:
- cheaters
- less than genuine types
- the powerful systems moving the world
peace arises in your mind.
Feeling peaceful influences you to:
- grow
- cultivate
- bond with
your loyal blogging tribe.
When you get really good at mind training, you think about your content and your tribe most of the day. You care less about anything or anyone outside of your sphere.
Even better?
Any ideas of karma, punishment or loss leave your mind.
The mind stops going against injustice and for your loving, caring tribe.
Why Write the Post?
I wrote this post today based on:
- my painful experience with the topic over years
- reader feedback from dozens of talented bloggers ready to leap over this common hurdle
No matter how smart or how hard you work, blogging against an imagined enemy dissipates your success.
Why?
Giving virtually all attention to your tribe precedes a full-time blogging career. Perceived threats are outside of your tribe.
Consider this analogy.
You’re safe at home with twenty dear friends. Party-time. Low key affair, though. Everything is perfect.
But you cannot stop thinking about the neighbor five blocks over setting off fireworks. The nerve! Irritation sets in. You look outside of your window. Idiot.
Meanwhile, all of your friends are having a great time in the living room.
You are free to get worked up over the seeming jerk. But it never changes things. People will always do silly stuff unconsciously to annoy other people. The only power you possess is changing your mind about the silly stuff to feel calm about it. Feeling calm means no annoyance. Feeling relaxed means giving 100% of your attention and energy to the loving friends in the living room.
I know how spotting ridiculousness feels. Been there. Main stream media phoniness. AI phoniness. Facebook, X and LinkedIn silliness. Top bloggers who appear to game the system and win, temporarily, at least.
The only way out of irritation regarding these situations is looking within.
Your Turn
Do blogging cheaters irk you?
Does the system frustrate you?
How do you get past this inevitable aspect of the world?
What tips can you share?
Call to Action
Check out my eBook for thinking like a successful blogger here: