Bath England
From time to time, bloggers who disagree with my take pop up in the feed.
How do I handle them?
I ask myself: “Is this my ideal reader?”
Most times – if not all, for various stretches – I say “no” and look past them.
Isn’t that easy?
I never try to agree with their disagreement to get them to like me. Nor do I tell them that I respect their viewpoint but disagree with them, via comment. Nor do I try to aggressively debate, backing my perspective with my worldly credentials.
I look past them.
Why?
I help people who resonate with my teaching style.
Anyone else falls outside of that blogging jurisdiction.
My readers sometimes disagree with me. But that means not I will reply to them. I already made my point through the blog post. The reader made their point via the comment. Case closed.
The challenge is this: most human beings harbor ample fears around worthiness. We tend to call these unconscious beliefs worthiness issues. Bloggers who do not reply to disagreements tend to trigger these worthiness fears, irritating most because they blame the lack of reply for their problems due to the unconscious fears sitting smack dab in the middle of their mind.
I did suffer from this mental malady early during my blogging career but gently rooted out a fair chunk of deserving fears with careful mind training.
Basically, if someone gets fired up that you did not reply – or even read – the disagreement, this blogger reveals whether or not you wish to take the bait. Some debate in civil fashion. Others want to fight. Others want their disagreement to be heard. Others build their brand on being the disagreeing business builder who stands out by taking a stand.
All of those drivers are OK but I only help people who want help.
I give attention and energy to resonance.
How Should You Handle It?
On a case by case basis, see how the person feels.
What vibe does the blogger emanate?
Kind folks who gently disagree may or may not require a reply. I sometimes respond to these folks.
Anybody else is a can or worms or ticking time bomb based on their lower level of emotional intelligence.
Take one who exhibits pride in disagreeing. Should you engage? Probably not; double the pride, twice the fall, as the saying goes. Do you wish to ride their sinking ship?
Meanwhile, as you play debate tennis, going back and forth, your loyal readers and yes, new readers starve for your attention. That’s the rub. That’s the problem. Trying to be nice to those who disagree is OK but why not chat with people who agree?
Customers, clients and loyal readers largely agree with you. Tactful ones do not drop a disagreeing comment because they have the awareness to know this; they are actually disagreeing with themselves because the world is a mirror to our minds.
Do You Feel Uncomfortable with Non-Resonant Bloggers?
Sit with emotions arising in the mind.
Do you wish to prove them wrong? Do you want to prove yourself right? Do you wish to embarrass them? Do you want to challenge them? Do you want to humiliate them?
Or do you wish to debate politely?
Do you feel embarrassed? Or do you feel as if someone damages your credibility by invalidating your guidance?
Some bloggers build their brand on being right while pointing out how other experienced bloggers are wrong. Does debating this individual sound wise, especially as you knife into worthiness fears festering within your mind?
During days where I possessed a lower level of emotional intelligence, I sat with feelings triggered in mind whenever a blogger disagreed with me. Some claimed that I offered poor advice.
I sat with the emotions arising in the mind before deciding to reply or not. Typically I passed because the individual did not seem to be my ideal reader. That was the litmus test.
I cleared any fears in my mind to assess the situation honestly.
Is It Rude Not to Reply?
If someone spit in your face, would you reply with a “thank you”?
Nope.
It is not rude to skip the reply to highly critical individuals.
How about nice people who offer a different opinion than yourself?
No; it is not rude to refrain from replying to kind people who share differing viewpoints.
I offered my opinion through the blog post. The disagreeing party offered their opinion through the comment.
One person spoke. The other person replied.
Is that rude?
I shared my thoughts.
Some replied to me sharing my thoughts.
Do I need to reply to them after they replied to me with contrary thoughts?
Nope.
Technically, I replied to reader problems with the blog post itself. Disagreeing comment droppers reply to my reply so I am good.
The blog post is a reply to reader problems. Any comment replies to the initial reply.
Conclusion
You can reply to like-minded individuals and look past everyone else.
If someone gets upset and decides to “punish” you for not replying by leaving your blog:
- the fear, pain and punishment is in their mind as a figment of their imagination
- you did not place these emotions into their mind by not replying
- they are best let go because none were your loyal, appreciative readers anyway
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