Grecia, Costa Rica
Blogging presents you with a challenging point.
On one level you wish to put yourself out there to be seen by the world. Everyone wishes to help others; at least on some level. Sans greedy or desperate minds, the masses at least wish to share their story to be seen, heard and to inspire others.
Great.
But the challenge arises when you begin noticing that no one seems to read your blog. Where are readers? Should you look for them? How do you find them?
How do you get people to read your blog?
How will people ever see your blog?
Making matters worse, a situation may arise in your unconscious mind which proves to be the source of this problem.
Consciously you want to gain exposure but unconsciously you harbor deep terrors concerning gaining blogging exposure. What will happen when you enter into the stream? What will people think? Critics may show up. Someone may humiliate you. Someone may buy one of your eBooks and publish a 1 star review. Others may refuse to pay you. Yet others may heap praise on you; this triggers self-hate, a lack of worthiness and other colorful emotions in your unconscious mind.
What is the solution?
Own Your Shyness as a Defense Mechanism
Shyness means many things to many minds.
For the purposes of this post I intend to frame shyness as a defense mechanism. Most blog coyly to defend themselves from:
- success
- failure
- emotions triggered from both success and failure
I still have to overcome shyness because some aspects of my blog bleed shyness. Onsite and offsite triggers reveal that I blog shyly in some ways as a defense mechanism against:
- perceived assholes
- seeming utter pricks
- loyal, loving fans who may tell me that I am wonderful
- blase, disinterested, passing, casual visitors who come and go like the tide
- disappointing individuals
I secretly fear that scaling a bit more to put the pedal to the blogging metal will bring a whole range of unconscious fears that I’d rather not deal with. But something hit me a few moments ago as I observed my mind. I continue to punish myself unconsciously anyway through various offline situations, circumstances and interactions.
What is the downside to being more bold with my blog if I am already self-punishing anyway?
I may put up a blogging defense but seem less defensive in other aspects of my life.
Punishment awaits if I do not face unconscious fears.
On the upside, facing, feeling and forgiving unconscious fears offers me:
- increased peace of mind throughout my entire life
- blogging expansion
Take Note Assholes and Pricks
No assholes or pricks exist save in the mind of the blogger.
Everyone either shows love or calls out for love. The ego deems calling out for love to be quite prickish or asshole-ish in some individuals who choose to project their self-hate through nasty feedback, biting criticism and the general turmoil one sees in mentally injured individuals who pride themselves on being critics.
I do not condemn these folks. But I shine the spotlight on them because almost all of us deeply fear facing, feeling and letting go encounters with scathing critics. Rather than face the unpleasant emotions a critic triggers it seems easier to be a shy blogger, hold back, limit exposure, keep success in check or to perpetuate failure.
The illogical line of thinking: it feels more comfortable to fail miserably than to taste sweet, freeing success that comes with nasty critics who trigger deep fears which you’ve pushed down for a long time. Being shy creates miserable comfort but at least you need not be free, establish more peace and gain more worldly success by facing the really strong, unconscious fears fueling your shyness, long buried, courtesy of critics who probe your tender inner weaknesses.
eBook Shyness
Over the years, critical feedback has flowed my way through:
- the lack of eBooks I appeared to sell at various stages of my career
- my writing style…..that style being….ahem…..less than formal, rough around the edges and fodder for making writing purists vomit
Being afraid of the rage, anger, embarrassment and shame triggered during these encounters put me through a winding journey of playing it safe, being shy with promoting them, charging 99 cents for each, then 10 bucks, then 10 to 20 bucks after loyal readers asked me to please charge a lot more money for them.
I have been shy about my eBooks because I hate the feeling of being mocked, criticized and seemingly punished. I experienced sexual, verbal and physical abuse during my early years at particular tender times which I am gradually facing, feeling and letting go to be less shy, to put up defenses less, to put myself out there more, to help more people and to establish greater peace of mind. Critics triggered that stuff which I pushed way down; being shy muted my success and pushed the fears deeper but at least I avoided critics and the fears that they would trigger, right? This makes absolutely zero sense. But we do it quite often because it occurs on an unconscious level.
I do not share my molestation, severe physical abuse and torturing mental abuse to feel special, to play the martyr role or to air grievances…..or to make you guys feel uncomfortable because you know by now that I love you deeply.
I do share these experiences because:
- each fueled my shyness
- none of us were raised by ascended masters, enlightened beings or spiritual masters
- none of us were always surrounded by ascended masters, enlightened beings or spiritual masters
What I’m saying: if you are a shy blogger who avoids the spotlight that fear causes your shyness. The fear almost always starts with rough human interactions early in life that you run away from, joke about or even pride yourself on holding on to. You are afraid of:
- being seen
- interacting with humans
- experiencing the positive or negative effects of interacting with humans
If you experienced an absence of these fears you would experience love in being seen, interacting with and experience various side effects with humans so you would not be shy.
Sans fear in your mind, you can be seen by and interact with any person in the world without discomfort, no matter how the interaction went down.
On a level of form, our shyness comes from unpleasant interactions with humans resulting in fear triggers. Rather than face these triggers we typically push these fears way down into the unconscious; shyness is one natural side effect.
If someone cannot see ya they cannot cause you discomfort, right?
Perhaps that line of thinking works well for a recluse. But bloggers partially dependent on other humans reading their blogs, buying their stuff and hiring them may want to explore, feel and look past these shyness-related fears for peace of mind and increased worldly success.
Conclusion
Look closely at your blog.
Do you fear relatives seeing it?
How about your wife or husband?
Do you fear spammers besieging you with cyber garbage? Believe it or not, there is a certain type of spammer shyness that keeps out the spammers largely but also severely limits engagement, a sense of community and quality traffic and/or business.
Own any blogging shyness.
Face, feel and forgive fears fueling these mental tendencies.
Free yourself to thrive from greater peace of mind.
