27 Crazy Travel Stories

Crazy travel stories seem to find me.

 

For whatever reason, humorous, odd or outright death-defying experiences have knocked on my door as I have circled the globe.

 

Before I share these tales I want to stress an important blogging lesson.

 

As a blogger you need to share your personality sometimes.

 

Readers want to connect with the guy or gal behind the blog.

 

Sure you want practical tips, successful strategies and a foundation upon which you can build a successful blog, supplied by the rocking pro bloggers you get through an authority blog, but it helps to connect with these teachers, mentors and coaches on a deeper, more authentic, personal level.

 

That’s why I’m taking a break from exclusively addressing your pain points and blogging problems to share some of my wilder travel stories with you.

 

When you first visited my blog, you saw words on a screen. But if you saw my story, you could make a stronger connection.

 

Don’t worry; I still have a blogging lesson for you at the end of the post.

 

Crazy Travel Stories

 

I hope to help you stray – or sprint – out of your comfort zone by sharing these wild, zany, wacky, and yep, sometimes death-defying crazy travel stories I have experienced.

 

1: Cheating Death in Muhamma India

 

 

I lost 20 pounds in 1 week after suffering from giardia in India.

 

I waited too long to go to the hospital.

 

After being carried out of my bed like a rag doll by Kelli and our gracious host I was rushed to the hospital with dangerous levels of dehydration. Doctor said my pulse was feeble.

 

3 IV bags and some meds later I left the hospital but didn’t fully recover for another month.

 

2: Facing a Spitting Cobra in Jimbaran Bali

 

I faced a spitting cobra in Jimbaran Bali.

 

Said spitter squeezed into a chicken coop to kill a hen and 2 chicks.

 

My friend Reinardt killed the cobra with a spade I carried to the scene.

 

The cobra had us in his sights more than once.

 

3: Being Attacked by 2 Separate Wild Men in Kathmandu Nepal

 

One wild man bit me on the arm after pleading for a buttered roll (did he insult my muscularity?).

 

The other wild man punched me in the shoulder while grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

 

Both wild men were…..wild.

 

4: Getting Grabbed by 2 Lady Boy Prostitutes in Bangkok Thailand

 

2 lady boy prostitutes grabbed my arm in Bangkok to reel me in for an early morning fare.

 

After they yelled in a baritone voice “You so handsome!” I sprinted down the street and the Thai Twosome gave chase.

 

Meanwhile, a dog wearing a Tweety Bird hanging from its collar looked on.

 

5: Living Between 2 Brothels in Istanbul Turkey

 

 

Kelli and I lived between 2 brothels in Istanbul, Turkey.

 

Brothel employees often tossed water on tire-kicking guys who stare at the prostitutes shyly, to move them along.

 

Or the brothel employees whipped bottles of whiskey at guy’s heads, to keep them moving along, almost killing them in the process (saw this one night).

 

6: Snatching a Kitty from a Deadly Krait in Jimbaran Bali

 

I snatched a kitty cat from a deadly krait in Jimbaran, Bali.

 

Squeaky gazed upon what looked like a bright blue wrapper.

 

It was actually a krait; one of the most venomous snakes in the world.

 

One quick grab, cat-swipe, and scar later (permanent scar, from a startled cat swipe, on my right hand) I safely removed Squeaky from near certain death.

 

7: Living in Phuket Thailand During a Coup

 

I could not visit my precious 7-11 in Phuket for bizarre Thai sweet snacks (see, hot dog bun filled with strawberry cream and raisins) past 10 PM because of the curfew.

 

Propaganda/military music played ‘round the clock on all TV stations.

 

8: Missing a Terrorist Attack by 3 Days and a Coup Attempt by 9 Days in Istanbul Turkey

 

3 days after we flew through the other airport in Istanbul a massive terrorist attack rocked Ataturk. We were in Cyprus at the time.

 

9 days before we arrived in Istanbul – still in Cyprus – an attempted coup was thwarted.

 

9: Living in a Remote Costa Rican Jungle Hut for 6 Weeks

 

 

Kelli and I lived 3 miles into the jungle, in a remote Costa Rican town called Buena Vista (population between 8 and 14 depending on who walked into Bribri that day).

 

We spotted – and sometimes, lived with – bullet ants, centipedes, poison dart frogs, scorpions, huge spiders, toucans, Howler monkeys, Capuchin monkeys, oropendola, Mealy Amazon parrots, sloths (3 and 2 toed), opossum, owls, toucans and various snakes during the stay.

 

Thank God we didn’t encounter the dreaded Fer de Lanz snake, one of which the homeowner hacked to death with a machete when it tried to enter the home a few years before.

 

We watched a 90 pound Rhodesian Ridgeback, a dog originally bred for lion hunting in Africa. She was a badass, trying to stalk and kill pretty much anything that moved.

 

10:  Going Nearly Dead Broke in Laos

 

One day, while watching maids clean our hostel room in one of the most impoverished countries on earth, we pretty much surmised they had more money than us. Because we had like…..almost nothing. Really. Almost nothing.

 

Things turned once we left Laos to head for Thailand.

 

11: Screaming Angrily at a Guy Who’d Been Shot through the Head (40 Years Prior) While the Prince of Thailand’s Motorcade Rushed by in Chiang Mai Thailand

 

I once screamed at a jolly but sometimes obsessed man who’d been shot in the head during the Vietnam War because he wouldn’t stop asking me for a favor which I could not help him with. He could drive you to do that. Even low key me.

 

Meanwhile, after leaving him in a fit of rage the Prince of Thailand and his motorcade drove by as the streets were emptied and military guards stationed themselves every 50 feet or so along the street, standing in a still salute.

 

I walked into 7-11 to buy a weird Thai sweet while the scene unfolded.

 

12: Fighting a Toothless Vagrant over My Flip Flops in Granada Nicaragua

 

A toothless vagrant used a 7 foot long stick to steal my flip flops through an iron grate front door while I fetched him cat food for his emaciated kitten in Granada, Nicaragua.

 

I struggled for the flip flops and cursed him out in Spanish as he seized the flippies and sprinted down the street, never to be seen again.

 

13: Feeling a Large Cockroach Tap Dance Across My Head, Lips and Chest in Pak Nam Pran Thailand

 

A large cockroach woke me in Thailand.

 

He tap danced on my head, lips and chest.

 

14: Getting into a Wicked Motorbike Accident in Jimbaran Bali

 

I suffered a nasty motorbike accident in Jimbaran.

 

I turned my head for a split second. Bad move.

 

Kelli and I hit an oil slick on a tight curve.

 

I blacked out.

 

When I came to, I struggled to find my breath for 20 seconds.

 

I was bedridden for the next 4 days, feeling as if I was being stabbed with 20 Ginsu knives each time I inhaled deeply.

 

15: Speaking to a Landlord Who Wanted to “Punch Richard Nixon in the Face” in 2012 in Hanoi Vietnam

>She was a kind, caring woman.

 

But still wished to punch Richard Nixon in the face.

 

I had not the heart to tell her old Tricky Dick had passed away.

 

16: Riding a Bus for 23 Hours from Luang Prubang Laos to Chiang Mai Thailand, Watching the Bus Drivers Barreling Wildly Around Hairpin Curves Perched on Mountain Cliffs

 

Our bus drivers barreled around hairpin curves at dangerous speeds, guzzling Red Bulls to stay awake.

 

I awoke to the distinct sounds of violent retching in the bus; Laos mountains + motion sickness = pukey.

 

17: Sitting with Three, 400 Pound Tigers in Mae Rim Thailand

 

Kelli and I sat with three, 400 pound tigers in Thailand. In their cage.

 

The waiver form we signed before entering the cage was longer than “War and Peace.”

 

18: Living with a Family of Shrews in Hoi An Vietnam

 

We mingled with a family of tiny shrews.

 

One day I heard squeaking.

 

The next day mama shrew diligently carried food to her babies every few hours.

 

Note; a toad later entered the home during a torrential downpour but left when things calmed down. Too many shrews and humans spoiled the soup.

 

19: Seeing Our Toothbrushes Being Used as Love Slaves by a 3 Inch Cockroach Named Hector in Koh Lanta Thailand

 

 

I named the cockroach H-Dawg and he generously doled out love to our toothbrushes around the witching hour each night.

 

He later disappeared, either getting da boot from our dental hygiene products or winding up in the stomach of the big ass Tokay geckos in the area.

 

20: Getting Coked Out (Not Really) then Puking My Guts Out for 12 Hours and Missing Machu Picchu in Cusco Peru

 

I went on a wild coke binge (not really) in Cusco. OK. Nope, I did not.

 

I did drink too much coca tea (trace strains of the stuff) leading to a buzzed feeling, impaired judgment, feasting on aged leftovers and a wicked case of food poisoning that forced me to cancel my trip to Machu Picchu the following day.

 

I recall nearly crawling into the street at 3:45 AM as the tour operator leaned on the horn. No shirt, young shorts. 33 degrees Fahrenheit at the time.  I was violently ill. Didn’t give a rat’s rectum.

 

After finally convincing the tour guy I’d puke in his car, on the train and on the MP artifacts – in Spanish and English – he finally gave up, drove off, and I made the excruciatingly painful ascent up 4 flights of stairs, barely keeping down the 2 ounces of food churning around in my gut.

 

21: Using the Outdoor Toilet in Southern India

 

Kelli asked the bus driver in Southern India where to find the bathroom.

 

He said “outdoor toilet.”

 

Kelli asked “Where is it?”

 

He said “Anywhere.”

 

22: Hitchhiking on a Logging Truck by Holding onto an Iron Grate above the Cab and Balancing on 2 Toes while Traveling at 45 MPH around Hairpin Turns in Savusavu Fiji

 

 

It’s tough to find a bus on Sunday in remote Vanua Levu, Fiji.

 

So tough that me and the crew hitchhiked a ride atop a logging truck.

 

Since I had the biggest arms I got to hold onto an iron grate above the truck cab, holding on for dear life, while I literally balanced on the outside 2 toes of my left foot, my right foot swaying to and fro in the breeze as I stood flamingo-style on the logger.

 

Apparently Mario Andretti retired to Fiji. This joker hit sharp curves at 40 plus MPH, creating 1 ton load shifts in the lumber that nearly catapulted me off of the flat bed (long, elastic bands held the timber in place; nothing more).

 

23: Losing a Cat and Dog and Caring for a Chicken Killer During a House Sit in Jimbaran Bali

 

Our house sit in Jimbaran, Bali was pretty much the best house sit on earth.

 

But we also lost a cat (disappeared) dog (died from hidden chronic illness) and took care of a chicken-killing Balinese Rottweiler who mutilated 4 chickens during our stay.

 

This is where I faced down the spitting cobra and lethal krait.

 

24: Watching Street Dogs Literally Take over a Traffic Circle after 9 PM in Pak Nam Pran Thailand

 

Pak Nam Pran is a quiet, charming, small Thai community nestled on the Gulf of Thailand.

 

Light tourism there, meaning the street dog situation is outta hand.

 

At 9 PM in this little sleepy town a pack of dogs simply drops and sleeps in the main traffic circle, forcing the handful of cars flowing through at night to drive around the slumbering dogs, and circle.

 

25: Swimming in a Pitch Dark Cave (and Diving) in Ke Bang National Park Vietnam

 

I was tricked into this one.

 

The tour leader goaded us to kayak in some pretty swift moving water on a cold, rainy day at Ke Bang National Park in Vietnam.

 

20 minutes later I found myself swimming in a pitch dark cave with 20 other folks. Either wait outside like a chicken or give in to peer pressure.

 

We evaded bats, centipedes, other nasties in the water, stepped on razor sharp rocks slicked with bat poop, barely avoiding a disastrous fall, and eventually found daylight again.

 

26: Fighting a Biblical Swarm of Moths in Keroutan Bali

 

Kelli yelled.

 

I grabbed a broom, swatting baseball style at the hundreds of moths swarming the home in Keroutan, Bali.

 

After a heavy thunderstorm we made the critical mistake (and never again) of leaving the front door open to stay cool.

 

The inviting, fluorescent, SE Asian style light proved too tempting for the post monsoon rain swarm, which flooded the house at an alarming rate.

 

We took out a few, watched the majority spiral to their deaths in their 10 minute life spans, and watched ants and Tokay geckoes savagely butcher and voraciously consume the rest.

 

27: Watching My Toe Swelling Up Like a Sausage after Being Stung by God Knows What and Not Being Able to Walk for 2 Days in Manuel Antonio Costa Rica

 

I hoped I would turn into a superhero.

 

But my toe just swelled up like a hot air balloon, with no beneficial side effects.

 

While walking on the beach in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica I felt a terrific pain seize one of my pinkie toes. Like an arm wrestler using his vice grip to squeeze my teeny toe with a pair of white hot pincers. Swelling followed.

 

After a few hours I couldn’t place weight on my right foot.

 

The toe swelled up to the size of healthy sausage, I couldn’t walk for 2 days, and eventually, I returned to my normal, active self, minus any superhero powers.

 

Bonus Crazy Travel Story

 

Perhaps the most bizarre travel experience of mind unfolded after building this original list.

 

Kelli and I had a particularly vivid encounter with Sasquatch in the Adirondacks of New York State.

 

Click here to watch me recount the experience:

 

My Sasquatch Experience in the Southern Adirondacks

 

What Is the Blogging Lesson from These Experiences?

 

Be open.

 

Crazy things happen for those who say “yes” yet your dreams await on the other side of these choices.

 

Get out there. Help people. Learn on the fly. Gain experience. Test. Tweak. Adjust the blogging sales.

 

Submit the guest post. Don’t worry. We all get rejected sometimes.

 

Publish your first post.

 

Buy your domain and hosting.

 

Migrate from a Blogger to self-hosted WordPress blog.

 

Be open to ease your blogging pain, to dissolve your blogging struggles and to accelerate your blogging success

 

Obstacles arise.

 

Yet success grows too.

 

Plus you may have some funny tales to share with your readers.