My name is Ryan Biddulph.
I am a recovering Doing Monster.
I am embarrassed to say this.
After years of spiritual training (yeah right). After years of mental training. After my online experiences. After my offline experiences. After I manifested a freaking amazing life in the tropics….I was still a Doing Monster.
A small part of me still is a Doing Monster. OK maybe it’s a little bigger than a small part. But damn is this monster dying a quick death.
If this sounds like the rantings of a wild man, in delirium due to the insanely high heat indexes here in Granada, Nicaragua, you better be careful……You may just be hurting your blogging career by being a Doing Monster too and you may not even know it. Publish products. Release courses. Write blog posts. Automon City. Whatever in the hell a Doing Monster is. Which means I better explain it to ya.
D Is for Doing
Remember the Cookie Monster?
He sang “C is for cookies, and cookies are for me…..” then that animal would scarf down cookies quicker than I inhale Thai pandan rolls. Yeah that fast. I’m talking some serious greediness here. I mean me; not the Cookie Monster. OK, both of us were greedy, gluttonous SOBs at times. On the eating front.
So…..what is a Doing Monster?
Definition: A Doing Monster is an individual who bases their entire value on doing. Doing Monsters may strain and strive until they break down or Doing Monsters may act inspired a bunch and manifest neat stuff….until they finally break down….because all Doing Monsters operate from a space of strong resistance.
On the blogging side of things a Doing Monster defines their self worth based 100% on accomplishments.
Like, a Doing Monster may:
- publish 141 books to Amazon
- publish thousands of videos to Youtube over their career
- publish thousands of posts to their blog over their career
…..and if each of those achievements went away OR if each achievement didn’t yield some specific outcome, the individual would feel worthless.
As you may or may not know, I achieved the above stuff. I am the guy holding the trigger behind that bullet point list. Because I was a Doing Monster. Sure I acted inspired some or even much of the time while I created those gaudy numbers and I even had fun for some of these runs but I carried a tension, a resistance, a somewhat forced energy that almost killed my blogging career.
Here’s why: force negates. I was obsessed with DOING, creating a Doing Monster, pushing and straining and striving and smiling and forcing and trying and acting inspired, then rushing and pushing and acting inspired and forcing and trying and sleeping but waking too early and staying up too late, then breaking down as frequently as 30 year old jalopy in Death Valley.
*I regularly had to be doing something or my blog and my status as a blogger wasn’t worth crap.*
I had to outwork everybody. I had to work harder. Then, when I felt inspired, I would only be worthy if I wrote and published 10 eBooks. Then 50. Then 100. Then 1,000.
Remember the Cookie Monster? Well….”D is for Doing, and Doing is for me!” was my old mantra. I worked 7 days a week. Because if I ceased working, a part of me, as a blogger and human, felt worthless. I had little trust in the Universe. I mean, on one level I trusted good old Uny but on the other hand I had to take the reins from Creation, Infinity, Perfection and “Power Beyond Thought”, way too frequently, because I knew better.
Yeah, a guy with a Monkey Mind as active as Tony Robbins on crack cocaine mixed with Red Bulls mixed with caffeine and topped off with a chaser of thyroid boosters, yeah, that addled bastard felt he could handle the blogging deal better than God. Or, the Universe.
Why This Post Is Not as Easy to Embrace as You Think
You may read this, nod your head, and express how one needs to take breaks. Or to take days off. Or to relax, and have fun. True enough. Yet virtually every one of you – like me, throughout much of my day – is writing and acting right now from the mind. You’re probably not in the moment. Which is OK. But it leads to tension and resistance. You’re thinking and conceptualizing and formulating arguments and the like…versus just BEING. You are DOING, and you will likely picture the next 15 things you have to do today, in order to create blogging success. It is hellishly difficult to slow down the mind, to just be, because….well….meditating and being present and breathing deeply and embracing what’s happening in the mind can feel maddening, overwhelming and terrifying, all rolled into one. So to really embrace what I’m saying, you’re likely gonna start meditating daily, and breathing deeply, and ceding much of your control, outsourcing much of your deal to a Higher Power, which will gladly supply you with everything, as you allow in the ideas, people and circumstances which will help you to help others.
You’re *thinking* (in good old, Racing Monkey Mind)…..
A + B = C
Meaning, you’re being a bit of Doing Monster too, maybe. You may feel the need to do something to get something. You’re thinking conditionally. Do something. Then something happens.
But…..you are C. So am I. We all are. A + B, well, they are not really necessary. Which will set off a big old red flag in your mind. Ego will tell you that I am crazy, that you are crazy, and your thoughts will likely puke all sorts of pablum, as my silly, funny mind does throughout the day.
Just take 3 deep breaths. Release. Come back to the moment. Allow peace in. Allow harmony in. Ok….are you relaxed? Good.
Now……you went from Doing, to Being. You’re in the moment. Being. Even if you appear to do stuff, you won’t attach to the doing or the stuff. Your internet connection could crash before you finish this post and publish your comment, and before you slit your wrists because you won’t get your Blogging from Paradise Fix for the day you’ll say….”oh well, no worries.”
Because you’re slowly starting to see that you are C. You are not A + B.
Whhhooaa…..Wait a Minute
Am I telling you that no work is necessary to manifest blogging success?
Since you and I are not enlightened beings, forever in the moment, Blogging Buddhas….yes, we will be having fun, playing and acting to create blogging success but the A + B stuff, like creating and connecting, will come from a detached, light, chill space, and you will do less, and be more, and you won’t need to get stuff done because you’ll feel whole and complete and grateful, and you’ll blog for the fun and joy of it, and when you blog for the fun and joy of blogging, you’ll detach more from Monkey Mind concepts like goals and stats and all that stuff, and as you detach more, you will tap into new vessels of creativity, more wisdom, and unknown sources of cleverness which you were unaware of…..all because you didn’t NEED to work, but you worked because it felt fun, playful and totally detached.
OH Yeah….Why I Hurt My Blogging Career
For the first 5 years I spent online, I worked like a freaking animal. I eventually earned a steady blogging income but I was a Doing Monster, meaning I based all my success on me doing stuff, meaning I carried with me resistance and tension 24-7, and that resistance and tension didn’t allow in the success I was destined for. It’s almost like I could have published a guest post on Pro Blogger daily, creating my best work, and I’d still have repelled success, because that Doing Monster tension, or resistance, literally sends out a force field that doesn’t allow in money, or some sort of fame, or readers, or a loyal community, or friends.
I hurt my blogging career because I tied my value to working. Point blank. If I was not doing, I was worthless. So I pushed myself and worked and strained and strived. That straining, striving energy drowned out my writing voice. When I did pull back I feared I’d lose everything. So I rushed right back into doing. I’d act from an inspired space but again, I’d shoot myself in the foot because I always carried with me an “Even though I am doing I am not doing enough!” type energy, which ensured that I never had enough. Even when I manifested some sweet dough and sweet success.
Nervous Energy Masquerading as Productiveness
I felt nervous. I feared lack. I feared losing it all. So I acted from this resistant space, becoming a Doing Monster to keep busy, just to avoid embracing the very feelings I needed to embrace, to grow, to detach a bit more, to be in the moment, and to be genuinely happy, doing stuff for the fun of it, and for the joy of it.
The Turning Point
Approximately 2 months ago I had a mental breakdown consistent with the eruption of Krakatoa. History buffs are shuddering in their shoes. The rest of you think I’m weird. But this explosion/break down clued me I: I was officially a Doing Monster, plagued with a terrible blogging disease which created tension, stress, worry and anxiety in my being, and I routinely moved into action – even inspired – to mask these undercurrents of tension, stress, worry and anxiety.
Even worse: I freaking TOTALLY identified myself with my doing. Meaning, unless I was doing blogging stuff I was pretty much a worthless space slug. A less attractive, but much more ripped, Jabba the Hut. If my results were shitty, fugghedaboutit, as they’d say in my native Northern New Jersey. If my traffic or sales or comments or any of that stuff wasn’t where I wanted it to be, I was floored, leveled, devastated.
It was like, unless I was doing something related to blogging or unless I had tangible, blogging-related results/outcomes right where I wanted them, I was super unhappy, stressed, and resistant to what was, and all of this came to a head a few months back.
I may divulge my epic meltdown, but perhaps in Blogging from Paradise; the Made for TV Movie. It has Lifetime written all over it. Except that I am a dude.
That monstrous, Vesuvius-like explosion and breakdown was the Turning Point in my Blogging Career. OK, even though creating Blogging from Paradise was the pivotal turning point this moment rivals the BFP founding because I finally realized 2 months ago that:
- I was a Doing Monster
- I based most of my self worth on blogging achievements
- I identified almost fully with my results, and my actions, so if I wasn’t working or succeeding, I lacked an identity, and was a pathetic loser
- even though I acted inspired a fair deal of the time over the past year or so I often carried tension or resistance with these actions, meaning, I was still largely acting from a place of NOT having or of FEARING versus acting from a fun-loving, relaxed, chill, detached, trusting, loving, “I don’t give a rat’s ass if I complete my blogging tasks” type space
During my monumental meltdown I felt the pain, anger, anguish, frustration, terror, shame, embarrassment and rage, which I had buried for years, by simply doing stuff. I saw how most of my actions were not for the sheer joy of creating, but were conditional, tied to some outcome, and I observed how these conditional acts led to my prolonged suffering, my Doing Monster status and a general sense that I would never be enough, that I’d be far from whole and complete, and a certain Ingrate Energy resided around my being and an overall terrible energy coursed through my veins.
After I felt these emotions for a few painful, uncomfortable hours, I felt a growing sense of peace from within my being.
Here’s My General Feeling Now
After slaying the Doing Monster I feel – generally – like I never need to or have to do anything again.
I am whole and complete, if I never blogged again.
I don’t hear my Monkey Mind barking orders at me to do certain things. Usually, at least. I just chill. Feel grateful. Breathe deeply. And relax.
The Chief Benefit of Feeling this Way
Now it’s time to shift from burying your emotions in a wave of doing to acting from a fun, detached, non-conditional space. OK…joking….because nobody I know acts from a non-conditional space. But if you detach more from outcomes you won’t NEED TO or HAVE TO do blogging-related stuff, then the blogging-related stuff becomes really fun to do. And the act of blogging or creating or connecting is the reward in itself. Everything else is extra. An added bonus. Icing on the cake. Cherry on top. Salsa on your tostados, as they would say here in Nicaragua.
Now we know that turning yourself into a Being Monster puts you into a fun-loving, all powerful, creative flow, instantly. Which does not suck. Let’s dive into a few other delicious benefits….
Other Benefits of Being a *Being Monster*
- have fun
- work whenever you feel like it and take a break when you aren’t having fun blogging
- leverage your presence like wildfire with 1/20th of the work (or dare I say….1/50th?)
- make friends easily
- attract readers easily
- generate sales easily
- grow your businesses easily
- skyrocket your creativity
- improve your ad copy
- stay healthy
- blog stress-free (really!)
- build a thriving blog while cutting your learning curve by years
- get really tight abs
- develop shredded shoulders
- become the opposite of a blogging demi-god
- leap tall buildings in a single bound
- be more like Ryan (joking….be more like you)
- destroy the idea of deadlines
- permanently suspend the silly practice of putting yourself under pressure to create (do trees or animals worry themselves into growth? Then why do you, silly Monkey Mind?)
- form strong bonds with influential bloggers without even trying that hard
What’s the Catch?
You may be ready to reach through cyber space to smack me. I get it. I read posts like these in the past. I felt these bloggers were full of shit. Really. But of course I thought it…..and felt it….because I resisted the truth: we are all mini-gods which reside in a Universe of abundance so once you face, embrace and release that resistance, you become more god-like and everything happens really easily for you. Because you begin to outsource stuff to Something Really Powerful, and just chill, and follow intuitive nudges, without worrying about doing anything.
The Catch: Facing, embracing and releasing your resistance to who you really are is a sometimes slow process, which feels like hell at times. You may challenge most of the fundamental beliefs which you built your life on, and you’ll feel like a hypocrite – join the club, we all are – and you’ll seem to go mad at times. Few people I speak to wish to feel mad. Most enjoy their safe, tiny, ego-based, comfort zones. Hey I do too some of the time but…..living in your comfort zone makes you a doing monster and even worse than that, sprinting outside of your comfort zone can make you a doing monster too because as long as you ARE NOT in the moment you will fully believe that you and you alone are 100% responsible for your lot in life. Which is just not true.
Truth: you are whole and complete, as is. You simply allow in everything for your joy, for fun, and for shits and giggles.
What you allow in, or let in, when you’re a Being Monster:
- incredibly clever blog post ideas, including snazzy titles and colorful, crisp writing
- money, readers, fans, raving minions, communities, clients, customers
- increased blogging income streams
- profitable blogging ideas
- a heavy detachment from outcomes like number of list subscribers, social shares, blogging profits, fame, approval, number comments, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, G Plus and……everything! Well maybe not everything and everyone, but you will feel progressively more detached from everything in your life because you are infinitely more than your Monkey Mind and its detachments
Guys, I am a swaddling babe, a nubile neophyte, a Young Turk with this Being Monster bit. I flip out. I get way too excited. I attach to actions here and there…..BUT…..I see the immense benefits of being and allowing brilliance in, on loan from the Universe, versus doing, trying, owning everything, taking credit for everything, and creating resistance which has postponed my happiness, which has dulled my creativity and which has delayed my blogging success by eons…or, by years.
So today, I’m spreading the word. I will help you become a super creative Being Monster. I’ll help you make more money online, easily. I’ll help you live your dreams quickly. But you’ll need to pay for these benefits by sitting and being with your limiting beliefs and worries and terrors and anguish and grief, and with your worst fears coming true. If you decide to sit with these energies, feeling them, instead of fighting them or running away from them (i.e. being a Doing Monster) you’ll have uncovered the secret of my:
- insanely envied lifestyle
- colorful creativity
- fun-loving, kinda detached attitude
- genuine style
- self-deprecation (I.e….NOT taking myself too seriously)
I am no Rhodes Scholar. My IQ score recently poked out of the single digits. But I’d rather be a Being Monster.
EVERYTHING and FUN beats…….well, it IS everything so that right there shows you whether you want to be a Doing Monster or Being Monster.
Kelli and I Are Going to the Mattresses
Kelli and I are heading off to a 2 month house sit in the jungles of Costa Rica.
No electricity. No internet. Which is why we chose to do the sit.
See, I’m putting my Being Monster money where my mouth is!
We will check the internet 1-2 times weekly from nearby Puerto Viejo but blog commenting and social media will go largely on hold.
If you really need to get in touch with me and it doesn’t involve me dying then……I’ll likely chat with ya in February!