We did not use Ryan as a simian wee wee pad. Benevolent Howler monkeys. Buena Visa, Costa Rica.

 

Did I Tell You About The Time A Monkey Urinated On Me In Costa Rica?

 

The urine gently cascaded out of the jungle canopy.

 

The fine simian mist clung to me like a glove, complements of the ungodly levels of humidity in this deep, dense wilderness on the Caribbean side of Costa Rica.

 

A few agitated monkeys looked down one me, wondering what this silly little human was doing on their turf in a remote Costa Rica jungle called “Buena Vista”.

 

Don’t bother Googling it. 14 people live there. During high season.

 

In working through my list of 27 of My Most Netflix-Worthy Travel Experiences I am breaking down when pee rained down on me via simian in an off the beaten path spot.

 

Pitter patter pee pee.

 

Costa Rica House Sit in the Jungle

 

My wife Kelli and I arrived to our house sit. In Costa Rica. We knew it’d be remote. We did not know the journey into the jungle would have made Indiana Jones piss his pants.

 

2 month house sit. Which we cut down to 6 weeks after we had enough with the vile outhouse, lack of electricity, terrible night’s sleep sessions and the claustrophobic nightly reading sessions by candlelight inside of a ratty, old, stained mosquito that made me feel like I was wrapped in a taut sausage skin.

 

Note; I loved this place too. Like stepping into a National Geographic special, we saw many rare, endangered species in the deep jungles. We also lived the dream of being totally isolated from humanity for Sunday-Thursday, with a trip into town Friday into Saturday morning to buy food and check our email for a little bit.

 

2 toed sloth. Buena Vista, Costa Rica.

 

3-4 hour hike – depending on if the 4 streams we crossed were waist-high roaring rapids after a 3 day hellish downpour, common in this region of CR – into the jungle, up a mile high mountain with a 30% grade in some spots.

 

One day both Kelli and I sunk to our knees in slimy mud. The last 20 minute leg of the journey was completely impassable save a dangerous descent down rocky, slippery, muddy path, via your own 2 legs or horseback.

 

Notoriously vicious fer de lanz snakes (legendary for their “bite first ask question later” policy), bullet ants, poison dart frogs and scorpions dotted the forest.

 

We also saw toucans, Mealy Amazon parrots, Howler monkeys, 2 and 3 toed sloths, and….Capuchin monkeys.

 

Toucan. Buena Vista, Costa Rica.

 

The Capuchins pee-peed on me this fine day.

 

I was walking Thunder, the 80 pound insanely athletic and cyborg-like conditioned Rhodesian Ridgeback, the dog often called the Navy Seal of the Canine World. On seeing a few monkeys in the canopy I looked up. A fine mist gently fell from the trees as the small troop thrashed the branches high up in the thick, lush canopy.

 

1 put 2 and 2 together. Thank God it was not poo. But beyond that, the monkeys were urinating on me because they were so unused to seeing human beings in this jungle.

 

I told you this place was remote.

 

In more touristy Costa Rican spots the wildlife – especially monkeys – have lost their fear of humans. Not in Buena Vista. Those little guys were all but telling me “Get the Eff outta here Gringo!” as the yellow mist delicately showered my dome, branches being tossed about 50 feet above me.

 

The ahem….house…I mean hut. Buena Vista, Costa Rica.

 

After a few seconds of being a simian wee wee pad I decided to move on.

 

This wasn’t the last time the monkeys saw me off. Most Capuchin visits were at a distance, with said troops doing their acrobat bit some 100 to 200 feet away from the hut/house/haha shack where we were living for the 6 week stretch. If we stumbled upon the monkeys they often jumped about in the trees, being a big agitated by our foreign, alien, human presence.

 

Just another day Blogging in Paradise.

 

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