How to Arm Yourself for Blogging Battles

November 5, 2015

Armed

 

Before we dive into this week’s post I want to help you with your newbie blogger struggles.

Goodness knows I have been there.

I struggled for 5 years online, flopping and straining and fighting and striving and failing and bombing and sucking it up. Even while I blogged from paradise. Really.

It wasn’t until I spent 4 months in Fiji that I left many of my beginner blogging mistakes behind. So I decided to write this eBook to help you:

  • cut your blogging learning curve by 5 years or more
  • increase your blogging traffic and income
  • make your blogging and lifestyle dreams come true while you leapfrog common, annoying, sometimes agonizing blogging struggles

This eBook is Free from November 5th to November 6th.

Click the pretty picture.
Click the pretty picture.

After November 6th you will (Jedi mind trick) download the eBook for $0.99 cents. Joking. Feel free to download the eBook for 99 cents. Also, feel free to share this free or 99 cent eBook (depending on your timing) with all of your blogging buddies, newbie or vet, because we all run into these errors and make these mistakes from time to time.

Even me.

So…..go for it guys and publish a review on Amazon too if you enjoyed the read.

Download 10 Disastrous Mistakes Newbie Bloggers Make and How to Fix Them

OK…..on to the post….

The fight never existed.

What a freaking shame.

Seriously. For 5 years online I strained, strived and clawed my way through blogging. I earned my stripes. I got some kind of rep. I guess. I traveled the world as a full time blogger. I spoke at NYU. I received tweet endorsements from a NY Times Best Selling Author.

I failed horribly through these victories.

I fought my way into a pro blogging career. Which was entirely not necessary.

I could have eased my way into a kick butt blogging career. But I fought and was taught the toughest of lessons. Force negates.

Today, I want to help you arm yourself for blogging battles. The fights will arise. The shiznett will get real. Only one problem…..and a laughable problem….completely invalidates this post’s title: battles exist in the mind, only. No battle exists until ego becomes a willing participant.

Make no mistake about it; my ego tried to make a horse race out of it. Still does. I fight myself and my human nature, wondering if my blog will die if I don’t publish weekly, or if my world will end if I spot 1 or 2 comments during a full day on this blog. What a freaking joke, right? I mean, TWO comments? Over the course of an entire day? Embarrassing. Them’s fighting words. At least to my ego.

I’d nut up. Arm up. And we’d go to battle. Me and ego. Fighting and straining and striving, busting my ass, and inevitably breaking down. It only happened 12,439 times over the past 7 years, ya know? Big time slugging percentage for me. I only picked a fight between me and anything to do with blogging most of the time during my first 5 years online.

Here’s the kicker, and it’s a sobering thought: there is no battle.

There is no fight.

There is no resistance.

There is nothing to GO AGAINST.

The Freeing (and Annoying) Reality

 

All:

  • battles
  • tension
  • forcing
  • fighting
  • straining
  • striving
  • attempted control
  • attempted manipulation

.all that stuff is a battle. An inner battle. Which is guaranteed to lead to more battles. Because force negates. And power attracts. Meaning, if you learn how to stop battling – through the tips I’ll share below – you will dissolve the:

  • battles
  • tension
  • forcing
  • fighting
  • straining
  • striving
  • attempted control
  • attempted manipulation

How freaking cool is that? Imagine NOT struggling? Imagine NOT straining and striving? Imagine not trying so damn hard to make money blogging, only to see 0.046 USD cents at the end of the month through your Adsense checks? It’s possible. If you learn how to stop fighting. If you learn how to breathe, how to relax, how to surrender, and how to trust.

What Do I Mean by Blogging Battles?

 

I ain’t talking about fights with fellow bloggers. That’s child’s play. Any sane human being with more than 2 ounces of brain matter knows not to kick a rabid dog. Any rational human being knows not to slap a hornet’s nest with a branch. If you are the type to start fights with fellow bloggers……you are kicking the rabid dog, poking the hornet’s nest, and making Hulk angry. Dumb move.

By “blogging battles” I mean ANY blogging activity which is filled with tension, worry, force, stress, attachment to outcomes and any other resistant energy.

Guys, I spent 99.99% of my first 5 years online fighting blogging battles. I rarely created from a detached, playful space. I never created posts or comments just for shitz and giggles. Everything had a condition. Everything had a purpose, an outcome, and look out if I didn’t manifest an outcome I wanted. I narrowly avoided breaking my fist in Bali. I careened into the floor in Koh Lanta. I fell listless in Laos, crying myself to sleep some nights, worrying about the scant few ducats Kelli (not I, I was flat broke) possessed during these uncomfortable times.

Blogging Battles Are Conditional Blogging Duties.

Blogging Battles Are Blogging Duties Filled with Tension.

In short, your booty will suffer and you’ll struggle to make money blogging or to grow your community or to live the life of your dreams if you spend most of your day fighting blogging battles because….force negates, and power attracts.

Force Negates

 

Kelli and I are cold lamping (not really) in Granada, Nicaragua ahora.

As I was writing these words a Nica street vendor asked me if I wanted to buy movies.

I said no thanks. He motioned to my lovely Thai sneakers. My Biyojis. He would have to tear my Biyojis from my dead, lifeless hands, this aggressive vendor, but this dude kept asking me to give him my sneakers. Because his shoes sucked.

Me holding water in front of a death carriage being drawn by horses in cheese cloth.
Me holding water in front of a death carriage being drawn by horses in cheese cloth.

 

He motioned to his moist tootsies. Then to my Thai sneakers. If only he knew I’d use every weapon from the image at the beginning of this post to keep him at bay he’d never dare ask me to give him my Biyojis.

Anyway, this crap went on for 3 minutes. Literally. Me telling him in Spanish that my sneakers were my sneakers, and no se vende, or that I wouldn’t give him my sneakers for free. He kept on asking. After 3 minutes I smiled and left the room. He drove me away.

Desperation repels……because……force negates.

This dude could have asked once for my kicks. I’d have said “Nope.” Then we both smile and move on. Instead, he fought and battled and clawed for 3 minutes, asking and begging and pleading. Meanwhile his shoes were almost in mint condition. Perhaps he thought this handsome Gringo was “tonto” but this Gringo wasn’t born yesterday. Nope, the vendor begged and clawed and pleaded and battled, and instead of grabbing a potential movie sale or 2 or at least building a relationship, I’ll smile and then ignore him every time he passes from now on.

Since We’re Both Human Beings

 

You and me are both human (I think).

We are prone to battling.

We are prone to fighting.

I used to fight 99.99% of the time during my blogging day.

I blogged from a tense, resistant, hurried, excited, TOTALLY non present space. I worried about the future. I lamented the past. My mind felt like Grand Central Station during rush hour. For years, I tell ya.

These days I fight less of the time. Suffice to say I am using power more than force. I fight less. I allow more. But I am human. So at times, I fight. If you are like most humans – aliens please unsubscribe from BFP – you will fight, strain and strive from time to time or you’ll fight, full of tension, acting from a scared or resistant space for 70 or 80 or even 100% of the time. This is a no no. Because you’ll not attract the brilliant ideas nor the playful ideas nor the moolah nor the influential bloggers nor the circumstances nor anything to help you mold a pro blogging career, being filled with tension for 100% of your blogging day.

Why Do Most Bloggers Struggle Like Hell to Become Pros?

 

Because they blog from a tense, resistant space virtually ALL of the time.

When is the last time you read a blog like mine? Seriously. I am not exceptional. I’m a buffoon. I can barely string together an intelligible sentence. But more and more, day by day, I don’t give a rat’s rectum what folks say, nor do I genuinely care what comes out of me doing work. I write and blog and network from a more relaxed, detached space these days. Not much battling at all. So you betcha I publish a one of a kind, authentic, genuine blog. I am being me. The real me. It’s so easy to be the real you when you’re blogging from a non-resistant, chill, relaxed, calm and confident space. THAT is perhaps the chief benefit of arming yourself for blogging battles. That’s the irony too; you arm yourself, then you leave your arms behind, becoming a blogging pacifist.

Because I am light, relaxed and detached, those juicy, delicious, traffic driving blog titles flow my way. So do these long form posts. So do clever marketing ideas. So do kick ass bloggers. I am letting it in. All of it. Because I don’t battle much these days.

The Chief Benefits of Using this Post (Not Reading, USING)

 

  • blog from a peaceful, chill, detached space (most of the time)
  • create a 1 in a billion blog, branding yourself like a freaking boss
  • become a creative dynamo
  • attract new and innovative ways to market your blog
  • jump the chasm from amateur to pro blogger
  • experience more Eureka Moments than you know what to do with
  • stop fighting
  • stop straining
  • stop striving
  • halve your work days
  • move up in blogging circles
  • make your wildest dreams come true, then watch dreams you couldn’t have even imagined come true

As I have said before, if 2015 Ryan met 2008 Ryan, the 2008 me would have slapped the 2015 me upside the head. The Past Me would have labeled the Future Me as a bald-faced liar, a charlotain, a trickster. No way a struggling, unhappy, depressed security guard could become a pro blogging, island hopping fool. The old me only knew fighting. The new me is comfortable with the idea of surrender, of being non-resistant, of amplifying my reach at an alarming pace in 1/20th of the time it used to take me to speak to an audience of crickets.

Note; crickets are poor subscribers. They only respond to my calls to action with a strange, but soothing, sound.

So…..the Irony

 

You will stop fighting and stop resisting and act from a more detached, chill, care-free space when you follow these tips and you’ll see more blogging success and you’ll not stress and strain and strive and struggle BUT you will still need to arm yourself for battle because the ego is a whiny biatch. Seriously guys, mental blocks, resistance and limiting beliefs, and deep fears and worries will pop up again and again, like a Pop Tart in a toaster, as you free yourself and grow.

Gotta be armed and ready for battle…..until you realize that you don’t need arms, because you don’t need to fight.

So your weapon of choice will be…..non-resistance. I’m not going all Gandhi on ya. Just dropping some wisdom that has made my blogging journey infinitely easier.

Relaxing, chilling and blogging from a detached space allows prospering ideas, influencers, fans and good old scratch to flow your way. Kinda like a roaring rapids barreling down a waterfall.

Ready to dive into the tips?

Let’s do this.

1: Breathe Deeply

 

I am a Lord of the Rings nut/fan/rabid follower.

So….

.Gimli carried an ax. Legolas a bow and arrow. Aragorn a sword.

Ryan B brings his breath with him. Because when RB mindfully breathes he is in the moment. He is in the Now. OK, no more 3rd person junk.

In the moment I do not resist. I do not fight. I relax. I give in to my emotions. I may cry out of frustration. I may punch a garbage can out of anger (did so last week). I may even…..gasp……write a blog post from a playful, detached space, not caring when the post goes live, or how many social shares or comments the post generates.

In the moment, everything is OK. Good feelings are OK. Bad feelings are OK. All is OK so you allow whatever is, to be.

I carry tension in my neck and feet from time to time. Because from time to time, I am ready for battle, full of tension, raring with resistance, and pretty much screwing up any chance I have at doing something epic. BUT……when I breathe deeply, I become fully aware of the tension in my neck and feet. I feel the tension. I breathe deeply again. I relax my body (more on that later), I allow the tension to dissolve, and when my body feels like a bowl of jello, I effortlessly float through my work day.

If I feel entirely overwhelmed or disgusted with my work I may breathe deeply and scream into a pillow. Because screaming into a pillow beats burying the frustrated energies. Because burying frustrated energies leads to:

  • unending (and I do mean that) blogging failure
  • no blogging income
  • no blogging subscribers
  • depression
  • various forms of abuse

I’ve had a few good cries over the past month and a half and damn, hasn’t the quality of my work improved? I think so. Because I learned the secret of the late great Steve Jobs.

Be a Cry Baby.

Steve Jobs

 

I read yesterday how Steve Jobs would cry freely when he felt beyond frustrated that another business idea had failed. Bet you didn’t think that cool, calm, collected, brash dude who whipped Apple fans into a frothing frenzy as he strutted around on stage cried freely after some devastating failures? I sure as hell didn’t. He also cried tears of joy after experiencing some kick ass victories.

Why?

Steve Jobs understood that clearing resistance will make you The King or Queen of Your Niche.

You can face resistance by battling, by clawing and striving. Since force negates this either leads to greater failures or a mental breakdown….or, if you do win a few battles you’re so terrified of failing again (you never cleared those fearful energies) that you can’t enjoy your spoils.

This is why, even after I had some really good months as a pro blogger, I had mental and physical breakdowns. I buried my shit. I didn’t cry when I felt overwhelmed with frustration or anger or rage or grief. By breathing deeply I was able to face, embrace and release my feelings. Being free of some seriously low energy crap I could largely give up the battle. I didn’t need to fight anymore. Feeling chill, and peaceful, and non-resistant, creative ideas knock on my mind’s door each time I write a blog post.

Sure I practiced writing for years but this whole writing deal feels as effortlessly for me as it ever has.

Transparency Check

 

My past 4 or 5 blog posts felt like effortless, playful, easy-to-write pieces of content. Why? In late September I had a good cry. I experienced a trigger, anger and then tears flowed, and I proceeded from a more detached, chill space.

Breathing deeply – in and out – focuses my attention on the moment. In the moment you resist nothing. You’re light, calm and at peace. If you resist nothing you can’t fight. You can’t go into battle. You won’t suppress blogging frustrations, nor will you work from a resistant, tension-filled space.

Creative ideas will flow to you effortlessly. The quality of your work will increase 10 fold. Or 50 fold. You’ll have that sense of calm, confident detachment from your work. That space that pros work from. Chill pros. Creative pros. Pro’s pros.

Breathe deeply. Stop fighting. When resistance arises like:

  • the white screen of death
  • vanishing income streams
  • seeing your blog hacked

you’ll not flip out or worry much or fight. Nope. You’ll breathe deeply and attract the solution to the situation quickly. Then you’ll move on. To the next moment. You Blogging Buddha, you.

Practical Tip

Breathe deeply now. Inhale 1 deep breath. Exhale 1 deep breath.

Breathe deeply for the next minute. Go ahead. I’ll be here when you’re done. It’s time for me to eat a Pinguino, anyway.

Feel better? Good. Maybe you don’t. Which is OK too. Because if you embrace the cruddy feelings you can release them, and you can cease that silly fighting and resisting and straining and striving that most bloggers do. Breathe. Deeply. On to the 2nd tip.

2: Relax Your Body

 

Relax your body, Grasshopper.

A warrior can win any battle quickly through non-resistance.

Here’s why: what you fight, fights back.

Today

I just spent 45 minutes tweeting. I felt chill during the episode mostly, but near the end of the session I forgot to breathe deeply. Tension built up in my neck and back. I fought a little, resisting the tension. I NEEDED to get my work done. I NEEDED to tweet until the hour expired.

Making her bread for the day. Our house sitting spot; red home front, right hand side of the street.
Making her bread for the day. Our house sitting spot; red home front, right hand side of the street.

The battle was on. I had to fight and strain and strive until my 60 minute tweeting window expired. Then I could be complete. Then I could move on.

Well, after breathing deeply a few times I felt the tension build up in my neck and in my mind. I relaxed my body. The tension disappeared from my neck and mind.

With the tension gone, I dropped everything. I took a snack break. I returned to my laptop 10 minutes later. To write this post. From a stress-free, tension-free, relaxed space.

This relaxed, chill, tension-free space is where I create my most kick ass work. Every time. The creative, playful ideas and the detachment and all the goodness and richness and joy flows my way when I feel zero tension in my being.

I ain’t fighting anymore. No goals to reach. No fights, no straining and no striving. I go from Blogging Warrior to Blogging Buddha. I go from great white shark to cute puppy. I go from TRYING to ALLOWING.

If you know anything about blogging, when you try too damn hard, you generally flounder, and when you allow, you do epic stuff.

Relax my friend. Bombs will not detonate if you don’t reach your daily goals. So relax your body. You are whole and complete. You can take a chill pill.

When you do relax something amazing happens; you allow the richest, most freeing, most fun ideas into your mind. These ideas almost always lead to all types of brilliance, joy and fulfillment.

Practical Tip

Battles disappear in the moment. Tension dissolves. So does desperation. So……after breathing deeply, and feeling tension in your bod, relax your body from head to toe. Observe the tension leaving your being. Proceed from a chill space. Observe how quickly the quality of your blog posts improves. See how easy it becomes to connect with blogging higher rollers.

Guys, I tripped over myself like a punch drunk fighter to sniff at power broker bloggers for years. Now I connect with these gals and guys easily. No more force field surrounding me, 24-7. I don’t carry resistance around the clock. That repelling energy rears its head less frequently so the blogging big dawgs of the world find me more attractive.

If you don’t understand the whole energy/law of attraction bit visit Kelli’s blog and read a few posts.

Once you relax into tension that resistant energy disappears and allows oodles of creativity in. If you’re wondering why my last few posts seem to rock a bit more it’s because I’m sitting here like a bowl of blogging jelly. With a pretty ripped chest. Which makes for a weird visual.

3: Don’t Fight….But Don’t Take Flight Either

 

Fight or flight.

Cave men did it.

But we’re a little more evolved.

Or are we?

Old RB did 2 things to handle my resistance: I fought it, or I fled from it. I’d have been horns-waggled to sit around and deal with that crap. If I felt like an abject failure after making 3 cents through my blog for the month – yes that was me – I fought the feelings of worthlessness. I buried them. Until some trigger event created an instant, spectacular purge which usually meant breaking my hand or screaming at myself or quitting on blogging for a few weeks or months.

If I didn’t fight, I’d take flight when battles arose. I’d feel disgusted with my blog. I resented my readers. I hated my online life. I felt like beating my laptop into a bloody effing pulp. But rather than embrace these feelings I sprinted from them. I’d go for a run. I’d eat sweets. I’d watch TV. ANYTHING but facing these terrifying energies worked for me. Well….energies buried and of course, I had to face these nightmares down the road. After failing like mad. For years.

Blogging Battles

We established that blogging battles are simply those tense, resistant feelings you choose to carry with you throughout your blogging day. The feeling that you aren’t doing enough or getting enough or being enough. The feeling of being a failure. The feeling of being a loser. You can’t fight them, or the feelings will grow. Because force negates. You can’t resist them because these tense feelings will follow you around like a little puppy.

All you can do is to be with them. Once you are present with them, the feelings vanish. I explain in this video. From the jungles of Nicaragua. If you want to see me bleed, and if you want to see a big old machete, click that play button.

Take that deep breath. Relax your body. Feel the feelings of being a worthless blogging loser. Cry. Scream out loud. Just be safe. Punch a pillow not a wall. Trust me on that one. In the following few moments the loser feeling goes away. That feeling won’t influence you or your work. That feeling is gone to the ethers. Now you feel more whole and complete. Cool. Feeling whole and complete shows in the quality of your blogging work.

Maybe you’ll not publish a post for the next 2 weeks. Time for a reboot.

Maybe you’ll only publish posts when you have a resource to create. That’s what I’m doing.

Facing, embracing and clearing your deepest, darkest energies may just make you a blogging genius. Your inner battles will end. Your inner turmoil will vanish. You won’t be overcome with that sense of panic which seems to plague 99% of bloggers.

All because you didn’t fight, or take flight, when those inner battles arose.

Tip (Practical)

Stick around when you’re feeling stressed. Things could get interesting, then, you become liberated from those feelings.

4: Work in *Slow Motion*

 

I have discovered something strange: I find it impossible to carry tension, to fight myself and to feel resistant to anything when I work in slow motion. I blog in a deliberate, slow-moving, relaxed manner. Sometimes at least. I never NEED more or HAVE TO GET THIS DONE or fight my feelings when typing or breathing or commenting or doing anything in slow motion. My battles vanish.

Think about it: why would you rush through your blogging day? You *fear* running out of time. Or you *fear* running out of money.

Fear = resistance.

Resistance = battle.

Battle = piece of crap blog post.

Battle = low quality connections or no connections.

Battle = no blogging dough or influence and few lives touched too.

I lived in a perpetual state of panic at one time. This stage in my life was marked by stress, fatigue, failure and depression, much of the time. Even when I saw some success I wasn’t present to enjoy my journey. Speeding up, fighting myself, battling my day, always trying to get ahead. I had no time to enjoy what I accomplished because I felt terrified of failing, no matter what blogging victories I had won.

These days were marked by blogging activities consistent with a record player adjusted to the highest RPM level possible. I sprinted through my day to manipulate circumstances so I wouldn’t have to be broke, humiliated or suicidal. I fought. Then I ran away. Of course the Universe has a fine sense of humor. My deepest battles, my inner strife, my belief in lack and limitation, all followed me. It was almost like fighting Freddy Krueger in a dream; he’s gonna get ya! It’s almost like trying to outrun your shadow; when you turn around, it’s there.

The Newer, Somewhat Calmer, Me

I do struggle here and there with slowing down and calming down but am grateful to say that my vibe is slow, relaxed and chill for most of my blogging day. Since I’m working in slow motion I can spot my worried, nervous or anxious tendencies. I see when I’m creating unnecessary battles (resistance, worry, straining and striving) and I smell the roses a bunch more these days.

I spot colorful, prospering ideas with ease. My powers of perception have increased quickly.

Slow Motion Tip

When you slow down and calm down, something wonderful happens: you notice what you’ve been missing.

You spot:

  • your blogging victories
  • your online blessings
  • your offline blessings
  • a greater sense of detachment in your being
  • your friends
  • your fans
  • creative ideas
  • new connections

You are whole and complete as is. Right now. Even if you don’t feel like it in the moment.

You really can go from 0 to 60 overnight. I promise you, you can. But few bloggers are willing to deal with the uncomfortable feelings which arise when you slow down and calm down. Your body will relax and then your mind proceeds forward like an Olympic sprinter with a 30 MPH tail wind at their back. Slow down. Even more. Observe the inner fight. Listen to the whining of your mind. Feel the battle. Feel the fight. Patiently blogging slow motion style will make you more creative, innovative and prospering than you ever dreamed of.

Slowing down helps you feel so, so good, that you won’t want to live or blog any other way.

Put on the breaks. Slow down. Type slowly. Breathe slowly. Write slowly. Comment slowly. Watch in amazement as your battles disappear for good. The quality of my posts improved dramatically over the past month because I never NEEDED to publish these posts. That was because I worked in slow motion largely, feeling detached, and of course when you don’t need to do something you’ll do your best job ever.

5: Trash Fighters to Hang with Lighters

 

J lived by an interesting individual back in the day.

I had a neighbor – who shall go by the name of “J” – at one point in my life.

Picture….a walking, living, breathing, karmic crap storm.

He found himself in trouble. Daily, it seemed.

He was a fighter. Every other day J found himself fighting friends and strangers. Problem after problem. Drama after drama.

I recall one night vividly.

At 5:30 AM I awoke to the sounds of 2 large men scuffling, banging into doors, slamming into walls. J’s friend said:

When did it all go so wrong?” (he actually said this)

…and then his friend sprinted down the stairs.

A few months later – after a bout of salty shouting, with the choicest curses being bandied about in the hallway – J sprinted after another “friend” with a balpine hammer. His buddy created whipped an ice ball at J, then peeled out and sped off.

J would bring homeless folks he met on 42nd Street back to his home. Total strangers, more than a few who likely ripped him off and of course, he ended quick-lived bonds with these folks in glorious, explosive, fighting fashion.

Where Your Energy Goes, Grows

J was a fighter. J hung out with fighters. Fights grew in his experience until his life became 1 big battle. He was evicted from the apartment. He found himself held at gunpoint by undercover police officers. He cheated serious harm by getting drunk – and into fights – at the local train station in a rough area of town.

He made the *conscious choice* to hang with battlers so his life was one long, prolonged battle.

Where your energy goes, grows.

Blogging Application

I hung out with a few blogging a-holes over the years. Fighters. Jerks. These folks helped to bring more mayhem and battles into my blogging day. Now I avoid these clowns like the plague. Because I don’t want any blogging battles. I don’t want resistance to well up from within my being. Nope. I don’t want to feel on edge, or tense.

Move more like this guy. I took this picture in Costa Rica in 2013 and...guess where we're traveling to next?? Costa Rica again! In early December. Details coming soon.
Move more like this guy. I took this picture in Costa Rica in 2013 and…guess where we’re traveling to next?? Costa Rica again! In early December. Details coming soon.

 

I hang with Lighters, or folks who light up the blogosphere.

I hang with my friend Donna Merrill.

I hang with Glenn Shepherd.

These guys are lovers not fighters. Inviting more love and light into my life allows that light and love to expand. Imagine being in a room with Jesus and Buddha. You think a knock down, drag out brawl will ensue? My blogging buddies may not be enlightened beings but they are chill dudes and dudettes and they flat out won’t add a fighting, battle-like energy to my day. Which I love them for.

Tip

Release combative bloggers from your circle of friends.

Add folks who’re peaceful, supportive and loving.

Blogging battles be gone.

6: Meditate….Meditate….Meditate

 

Did you ever notice how peaceful you feel after sitting in quiet for 10 minutes?

OK….did you ever notice how f*cking manic and insane you feel after sitting in quiet for 10 minutes?

That’s meditating for you.

Meditating expands your awareness.

Meditating helps you to become aware of your thoughts and feelings.

Some of your thoughts and feelings are peaceful and serene. Like….what may be going through your mind now….

Look at that Ryan guy. Look at his wife Kelli. They paint a peaceful picture of themselves chilling in paradise. How nice. Let me climb up on this cloud and float away. Ahhh…..”

Some of your thoughts and feelings are combative and stressful. Like….

Goddarn it! I NEED to get this post published or else I’ll LOSE traffic and I’ll LOSE money and I’ll be a FAILURE and ASHAMED of my failing. Damn I don’t want to blog today. But I HAVE TO BLOG to (insert 1 billion or more outcomes here.)”

In the mood for Nicaraguan chicken?
In the mood for Nicaraguan chicken?

 

Newsflash: the latter thoughts, feelings, insanities, rages, stresses, terrors, worries and griefs will arise frequently during freeing, cathartic, blessed meditation sessions. I know. Because I meditate for 1 hour every day. I also know that when the combative, battle-like, tension-filled, stressful thoughts and feelings arise, if you don’t resist them, they go away. Once the feelings go away you’re at peace again.

The Chief Benefits of Meditation

Meditation shows you:

  • how insane you are
  • how panicked you are
  • all of your worries
  • repressed childhood memories/fears/grief/anger
  • how peaceful you become AFTER you sit with these energies

Meditation expands your awareness so you can stop resisting what you buried, and so you can release what you buried.

Blogging Benefits

Here are a few benefits of meditation:

  • a greater sense of detachment (less straining and striving to GET anything out of blogging)
  • blogging for shits and giggles being the only reason to blog
  • blogging for the joy of it
  • openness to criticism (no fighting critics)
  • openness to your brilliance
  • openness to help
  • openness to money, money-making ideas and freedom
  • clarity and firmness in your blogging viewpoints
  • peace
  • serenity
  • calm
  • non-resistance to everything that happens during your blogging day….or, to most of it

I have wacky days when I’m more aware of my ego drives, my terrors, my fears, my poisonous pride, my vanity (have you seen my abs recently?) and my drive to manipulate circumstances to get what I want. Or I have wacky moments observing these energies. Meditation has helped me become aware of these days and moments so…..I USUALLY do not act on these energies. Meaning I don’t do things usually from a place of heavy ego drive, or from terror or fear or pride or vanity (usually) so naturally, my blogging journey is more enjoyable, light, care-free, fun and battle-free.

I don’t fight and struggle and strive to publish 1 post weekly. I publish posts whenever I feel like publishing posts, and whenever that time arrives, I’ll write the post from a detached, playful, “I don’t NEED to publish this post” space.

My reach has expanded exponentially since taking this attitude.

The old me fought and strained to publish a bunch of posts. I reached a few people. Because I carried a chaotic, battle-ridden, panicked energy. Imagine tossing the Empire State Building into an ocean riled up by a hurricane. Total chaos. Total madness. You’ll barely note the impact because the hundred foot waves and 200 MPH winds dull the crash.

Now imagine dropping a tiny pebble into a still pond. The waves travel far and wide, and if the pond reached into infinity the waves would travel into infinity. This is the new me. The meditating for an hour daily me. I publish posts from a detached space. Whenever I feel like publishing. I don’t work hard. I relax. I blog for fun, from a care-free space. My posts generate hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of social shares and I snag more subscribers than ever because I am the tiny little pebble being dropped into the still lake. Meditating deeply every day makes me the tiny pebble (humble) and the still lake (peaceful).

Tip

Read this book.

7: Play All Day….or Don’t Work at All

 

I intend to play all day.

Doesn’t always happen that way. Because I am human. My Monkey Mind likes creating battles and goals and fights and attachments to outcomes. That’s OK. But it’s not OK to make my day revolve around tension. It’s not OK to work. It’s not OK to push yourself. You have the gift of awareness. Cultivate it, ya dolt. Seriously…..why did I spend 5 to 7 years of my online journey working as hard as an ox? I am human. I am awareness. I can create for the joy of it. But my Monkey Mind – which I love – acted like a guy with a switch in his hand beating an ox, whipping me into working hard, tension-filled days, for most of my career online.

This whipping and working led to tension, fights with others and a battle with self which dominated my day.

This work/tension/battle created stress, fear and failure for me. Self-fulfilling prophecy. I worked. I fought. I ran into more resistance. I got sick. I almost died in India. The disease did not make me deathly ill; I just fought to such insane levels that some wicked breakdown was imminent.

Have fun, or don’t bother. Lighten up. Deal with the discomfort and agony of trusting. Don’t fight your ego. Be overcome with panic and fear, embracing these serious energies. Then, in the next moment, as quickly as these battle-filled energies flooded into your being they will vanish. And you can do things for fun. Again.

Conclusion

 

I still fight sometimes. I resent others. I fight myself. I attach to my work. I take credit for my success and failure. BUT….I am moving away from these energies. I am outsourcing most stuff to the Universe, working mainly from a place of joy and detachment. Most of the time. I fight less. I embrace more. I breathe deeply. I am grateful, versus needing more.

I’m making more intimate, authentic bonds. I am becoming good friends with my buddies.

Guys, the trigger which put me on this path was a battle-induced breakdown last month. Fighting and striving leads to some victories and failures. That’s kinda ridiculous for me. I’d rather blog for the joy of it, fight-free, and allow so much goodness and sweetness to flow to me that my Manic Monkey Mind couldn’t have envisioned this life.

Stop fighting.

Blog without the battles.

When fights arise, arm yourself with your deep breathing and relaxation.

I’ll see you in some meditation hall, Young Grasshopper.

Your Turn

 

Do you battle?

Is your blogging day full of TRYING and fighting and striving?

Do you use these tips?

Are you largely at peace?

What tips can you add to this list?

Call to Action

 

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Ryan Biddulph

Ryan Biddulph is a blogger, author and world traveler who's been featured on Richard Branson's Virgin Blog, Forbes, Fox News, Entrepreneur, Positively Positive, Life Hack, John Chow Dot Com and Neil Patel Dot Com. He can help you become a full time blogger with this eBook.
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43 Comments

  1. Joy what a comment! I have been there my friend, as you saw in this post. Keep on keeping on, and you shall enjoy this journey even more 🙂 It really comes down to stopping, when you feel resistant. Gotta be in that split second though. Example; this morning I felt super light. Then after taking a break I felt resistant to finishing up my blog post so I popped into my comments, edited them a bit by beefing them up, and heck I just am enjoying these chats. If I resisted doing this for what I felt I needed to do, that tension grows. I’m decent at dropping everything though to move in the fun, easy direction. Thanks so much for your valuable share!

  2. Joy Healey Says:

    Hi Ryan,

    Your post probably reflects how I felt about blogging a year ago. I was going through a really rough time personally, yet I still pushed myself to get those wretched blog posts out, come what may.

    I’m quite ashamed of one really grumpy post I wrote when things were going badly for me in my offline business. Perhaps I should delete it.

    At one point someone had convinced me I had to blog DAILY…. hello?? Fortunately I soon realized that just wasn’t right (or profitable) for me.

    Just before Christmas 2014 I started going to yoga to try and relax, and that really helped. Meditating is still beyond me (haha) but I’ll try your tip to Fabrizio.

    I hit a real low when my Mum died, about six months ago …. but I still had to get those posts out.

    Then one day I had just “had it”, I couldn’t think of anything to say …. so I wrote about dogs. Yes, dogs – not blogs – dogs.

    I imagined that people would think I was completely nuts and never come back, but actually I got more comments than usual, everyone was very kind and even shared their own doggy stories.

    After that, I’ve calmed myself down and although I usually manage my weekly post, it seems the world won’t end if I miss it.

    Thanks for sharing your own experiences and tips.

    Joy, Blogging from Chilly Harrow (ugh)

  3. Clement those tiny, mindful steps lead to many wonderful opportunities for observation. Like walking up stairs one step at a time, you’re introduced to a new, beautiful world with each recognition and observation. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

  4. Thank you Mukesh. It really is an inside out game, right? Amazing when we delve into the inner world.

  5. Mukesh Dutta Says:

    Hi Ryan,

    First time on your blog and wow!!!! what an inspiration!! So now I believe, the roadblocks, the obstacles or anything that keep us away from a great blogging career resides nowhere but within us in our mind.

    Thanks for the post!

  6. Clement Lim Says:

    Hey Ryan

    What an epic post! You really captured the internal struggle we bloggers go through as we strive for success.

    As you say, it’s tremendously beneficial if we can avoid getting too caught up in our emotions.

    In Buddhism there a teaching about how to watch our emotions. Simply recognise the emotion and observe it. The very act of doing this will allow us to detach ourselves from our emotions.

    In this way we can learn to act with equanimity.

    Easier said than done, but every small step counts.

    Clement

  7. Thank you Fabrizio. Meditating can be a struggle at first; how about this?……don’t try to clear your mind. Let it tire itself out. Just sit. And watch. Be the observer, and honest to goodness it quiets down. Ambient music….love it, wonderful idea.

  8. Hey Ryan what a fascinating post and I can really relate to some of the battles you faced.

    For me it’s distractions, almost everything in my life distracts me and I’m absolutely useless when it comes to focusing on something right now.

    I tend to bounce from one activity to another like some kind of possessed zombie bouncing from dead body to dead body feasting like a wild dog lol.

    I really need to slow down as well, and get some serious sleep too to help me focus better. For me those are my battles, distractions and staying focused on one thing at a time.

    Mediating is hard for me, I can’t seem to clear my darn mind. I love tuning into ambient space music when I’m working of an evening or when the family is out of the house for most of the day.

    I loved this post Ryan, it’s a stark reminder that we have to sometimes be in touch with ourselves, self awareness is a big thing I guess.

    Have a great weekend buddy in paradise. – Fabrizio

  9. Thank you Peter. Awesome that you’re meditating; it’s the great clarity finder.

  10. Hey Ryan and thanks for this exceptional post – the timing was perfect for me.

    Recently I have been sharing (warts and all) posts about various issues of online marketing and I did (to quote you) “struggle” as I gave my blog visitors perhaps too many of my experiences.

    After reading this post and doing quite a bit of meditating (thanks for the heads up with this) I have come to the conclusion that my posts need to be more light-hearted in approach but still with my message of authenticity.

    I will not have to do battle with myself as it’s as plain as day that to keep my readers engaged and coming back I need to adopt a more relaxed style together with a bit of your “Nicaraguan Magic” – minus the machette!

    As always your posts inspite, entertain, educate and provide me with great guidance – and for that I am eternally grateful mate.

    Best wishes from Thailand

    Peter

  11. Chris, you summed it up perfectly. That’s it. That’s what working slowly feels like. You talk yourself through each action. I think it’s mindfulness, I guess. Thanks for the clear insight CH.

  12. Hi Ryan,

    Epic. I can completely relate to tip #4 about working slowly. Sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed I work slower. I work with a purpose.

    This for some reason gets me in the zone. I close every distraction and almost talk myself through every action I take, making sure it has a purpose.

    Even though I am working “slower” I get more done because everything has a purpose!

    Great read, and be careful with those weapons next time!
    Chris

  13. Erin thank you. I do hear ya; that battle arises at times but our deep breaths can be freaking saviors. Keep changing those habits.

  14. Thank you Duke. Those 10 minute silent breaks work wonders, don’t they?

  15. Tom thank you. No worries my man. I think your timing was spot on; you read this post to affirm the ideas you felt compelled to act upon. Love it dude, and thanks for the awesome comment!

  16. Tom Watts Says:

    Hey Ryan,

    Sorry I’m late to the comment party, but I’ve actually been fighting some battles!

    Okay so no actual battles, but funnily enough I came to some relevant realizations a couple of weeks ago.

    I realized that I had put so much work into my new blog, and was working so hard to get it out there, that my head had become buried in it and I was suffocating myself.

    I realized that I was trying to move too fast – not always a bad thing admittedly – but in this situation I was burning out. I had spent hours upon hours locked away writing and promoting, trying to push the 50 visitors from yesterday up to 51 today.

    I convinced myself that I HAD to post at least once a week. I HAD to post on Twitter. I HAD to reach out to other bloggers and respond to messages daily.

    I have always set personal goals to stay focused and it’s always been beneficial in the past. This time though, the pressure was negative. Putting unrealistic and unhealthy deadlines on my work was slowly causing my work, relationships and sanity to dissolve.

    I put the laptop down and decided to take a break. To be honest at this point, I wasn’t sure if I’d be coming back.

    I did more things with my girlfriend, met with friends and got a lot of video game time in. Until today it had been almost 3 weeks since my last post. But, the world hadn’t ended… nothing had changed, I felt no different – so did I really ever HAVE to do any of that stuff?

    So after a long weekend of doing everything but writing, I decided to go back onto my blog.

    Something amazing happened.

    Everything flowed more freely and cohesively. I opened up and wrote the article I promised you last time I commented.

    As you’ll see in the article, the switch from business blogging to writing for people is still a work in progress for me. But, I know if I carry on the way I’m going I’ll get there eventually. I can write completely informally and naturally (more like how I actually talk; not like I’m reading a fax machine manual aloud), I just find it harder to stay on topic and fit in the tips I want to – that’s the hard part for me.

    Taking my time and working in slow motion is also an area that needs work. As I said last time, I seem to just vomit all this information into the wordpress editor and then reread and edit it a few times over. It’s the writing equivalent of filming a scene “in one take” – only it’s every single scene – that’s not going to make a good movie.

    So it’s funny that I should read this post today, shortly after I had already come to all of these realizations and revelations. I’m glad you were able to reaffirm the changes in my mind.

    I feel so much more comfortable now that I don’t feel an obligation to obsess over my blog. And as I said in the article, I just wasn’t enjoying it before. With this new lease of life, and blogging in moderation I think I really could. Here’s a link to the article btw: http://tomwattsblog.com/blogging-styles-do-you-know-yours/

    I’m also a Schwarzenegger (didn’t even have to spell check that) fan and a fan of intermittent fasting.

    Hope you’re all good man,

    Tom

  17. Duke Stewart Says:

    I really enjoyed this post, Ryan. Your point about meditating and breathing deeply is crucial when one is in the middle of a tweet or writing binge. I usually spend about 45-50 minutes per hour working and try to take 10 to go for a walk or just stand in silence to clear my head. It may not seem like much but man, I feel amazing after those precious 600 seconds just thinking about nothing. Sometimes an even better or more relevant idea will come to mind and spring me onto the next hour.

    On a the “fight” point you make, I wholeheartedly agree my friend. There’ve been some bloggers out there who treat this thing like it’s some big race and that couldn’t be farther from reality. We’re all valuable to each other and shouldn’t look at our blogger friends as competition, for we’re only as strong as the company we keep. I love that you bring a couple of folks into the convo and I’ll definitely be having a look at their work:)

    I think that if more bloggers employed tips like the ones you unveiled here, there’ll be tons more kinds ones to befriend on a daily basis! Thanks for exposing us to more of your awesome wisdom, Ryan! Take care bud.

  18. Erin Says:

    Do I battle? Heck yes. But I’m learning not to. Every day, I’m learning that lesson a little bit more and relaxation comes more easily.

    I’ve been battling in my work life for years and it has never gotten me where I want to go. So now, I’m taking the time to chill out, read long form posts like this, and think about the outcomes of relaxing. I have a lot of fear, but I’ve been meditating and journaling and it’s all starting to be okay.

    The less I battle, the more life will be. I don’t like to battle. Battling just crept into my habits and now I have to cultivate healthier habits.

    Thanks for this post.

    Erin

  19. Any other blogging battlers out there?

  20. Thank you Kim. You’re doing awesome. Everywhere I turn, I see you. Also, following Bobby P’s teachings is a swell idea too. He is a chill dude because he’s a trusting dude. Again, thanks Kim for the awesome comment.

  21. Thank you Akaahan. On a huge level….I dig that visual and vibe with it so much. Awesome insight here.

  22. That consciousness thingee can be funny and silly sometimes Mark. So happy you’re well on your way. Thank you very much.

  23. Oh Don have I ever been there. I’ve done some fun stuff online but attached too much to outcomes. Now I’m learning to let go, relax and enjoy the journey. Thanks for the awesome comment and you too!

  24. Julie thank you. That chill out period is where magic happens 😉

  25. Don Purdum Says:

    Hi Ryan,

    What a fantastic post!!!!

    Speaking for myself, part of the battle for me was unrealistic expectations about the results I wanted.

    Once I aligned my goals with my expectations and then stretched myself just a bit the opportunities were huge.

    But that battle still rages sometimes.

    I find it incredibly freeing to have friends such as yourself, Adrienne Smith and Donna Merrill who bring up these issues over and over again.

    The freedom you’ve earned through your fights is making you better, strong, and more capable. Your transparency is continually setting you free!

    What more could you ask for as you go through the journey.

    More good things are ahead for you Ryan!!!!

    Thanks for showing us that it’s a great thing to get real with ourselves.

    I can say right now my business is exploding and things have never been better!!!! Opportunities are everywhere!!!!

    Have a great weekend Ryan!

    ~ Don Purdum

  26. Mark Says:

    Wow Ryan!!

    Man oh man, but did you ever crush it and then some!

    But before I get to my comment, as I was loading my post
    onto the Google Plus platform, I saw your image and title
    of this post and I immediately thought to myself, this is definitely
    gonna be good!!LOL!

    As I was reading and simultaneously contemplating what I
    just read, situation after incredibly relevant situations in my
    own journey, kept rushing back to the conscious part of my
    mind!

    And the really sad part is, just like you, had the old me run across some
    lie you, (in other words), had the teacher actually bothered to appear.

    The student would have done my very best to silence you!!LOL!

    Because of all the untruths you dare share!LOL! Oh how
    sad, I realize that now, thank goodness!

    Thank you so much for presenting a much better and far more enjoyable
    and extremely profitable!

  27. Julie Cheung Says:

    You’re wonderfully inspiring! I’ve just downloaded your eBook and realise that I am making the same mistakes as I have been the previous times I tried blogging over the years. I now need to take a step back, chill out, re-evaluate and discover why I actually want to blog. I want to inspire too 🙂

  28. Hi Ryan,

    This is a monster post – but the wisdom in it is quite classical! Power attracts – and also attracts on a very huge level. Unfortunately, the converse also holds true.

    Daily, you inspire the world and bring new insights into the realm of fruitful, deliberate and productive living…sincerely, you rock!

    Do make the day great. I’ve further learnt to relax from this entry.

    Enjoy the day.

    Always,
    Akaahan Terungwa

  29. Kim Willis Says:

    Hi Ryan

    I hardly recognised you with your hair cut short!

    What a timely post you have here, and a monster post at that.

    And thanks so much for this significant post about the inner game. The lessons could be applied to any field of human endeavour, no doubt.

    Do I battle? Well I avoid conflict, but I will defend myself if attacked. But after reading your post maybe it’s better to just turn the other cheek and walk away.

    But in reality the battle is with myself rather than with others. And yes, anxiety and tension can flow from that. I actually think that some inner tension is fine and at least for me has been a precursor for success. But when it morphs into anxiety and worry (which happens frequently) I know that is not a good thing.

    So maybe people like me should follow your lead, Ryan – and chill a bit more. Bob Proctor says something I always liked – ‘let go and let God’. Maybe that’s the missing link – not enough faith. If we’re in a constant state of knowing, perhaps we can finally let go and just let it flow.

    Am I getting closer Ryan? (This stuff is really hard for me.)

    Thanks buddy

    Kim

  30. Are you fighting any particular battles today?

    For me, it’s getting off my laptop to call it a night 😉

  31. James thank you. Embracing reality. Love it. I too found greater peace by falling in love with what is.

  32. Lisa thank you. Yoga works wonders for both body and mind. I went through a deep stretching bit a while back.

  33. Donna thank you! You are wise in all things energy….I mean heck, you live in paradise too.

  34. Sure thing Renard, let me know how it works for you.

  35. Hi Ryan,

    Ahh Grasshopper you have unlocked the secret to us all! It is using our energy like water that runs softly over and around rocks. This is the essence of all that we do.

    Kellie put it wisely – it is all about energy! When our energy is aligned and we have clear sight of “what IS” blogging is part of the all we are and what we do. It is so freaking simple.

    I take the Yin approach over the Yang any day. Just allow yourself to let things flow. When it comes from an aligned mind/body/spirit you just put things out there. It can be as simple as a smile or as long as it takes to write a book. (there is no time)….but I digress because I can get into this forever.

    Let things flow and all will be taken care of. It is the essence of all success.

    I am so delighted you have mentioned me here in such a kind way!

    -Donna

  36. Lisa Sicard Says:

    Wow Ryan, this one was really amazing. It’s true how we fight ourselves each day and become our own worst enemies. Thanks for sharing how you overcame this and what steps we can do to to do the same. I found yoga helpful and I try not to stress over it anymore and the same for other areas in my life as well.
    I do think it’s a little easier as we get older to not stress as much – it gets to a point when we realize we spent so much time stressing and fighting with ourselves for no real reason and that we have wasted much precious time.
    Awesome post Ryan not just for blogging for for life too.
    Thanks for the offer on the book too, another great read I’m sure!

  37. Hey Ryan!

    This post really connected with me and made me think back to my earlier years. I was really tense all the time. Stressed out. Frustrated.

    I used to make excuses and blame the world for my lack of success. I couldn’t take responsibility. I was very immature in that regard – and the fact that I blamed others for my shortcomings never allowed me to solve the problems at their roots, leading to even more frustration.

    One day I learned to let go and embrace reality. Accept that things were the way they are, and then from there plan out how I could change them to fit my goals.

    I am going to need to figure out how to work in slow motion. While I’m laid back with my work, I’m high-strung with my time and it can cause issues. I think it’s the perfectionist nature in me. Something to work on for sure. Meditating does help clear the mind, but I just have so much I want to get done all the time that I can’t help but stress about it sometimes.

    Anyway reading this was a great start to my morning, thank you for that Ryan!

    – James McAllister

  38. [ Smiles ] Ryan, when you used Steve Jobs as an example, you sunk in your point easily for most people.

    Hey, I cannot see myself working in slow motion, but I am willing to give it a try!

  39. Bingo! It is all energy, that’s it. The actions mean little if nothing. They are care free. The energy and fullness and love and detachment means everything. Thank you, Mrs. Teacher 🙂

  40. kelli Says:

    Hey Ryan
    Wow, I am really blown away by this post. You have a gift for offering advice on the mental aspects of running a successful blog and being successful in general. It can take awhile to realize the core of creation lies in our energy and not the actions we are taking, which are just a manifestation of said energy. Things come together so much more easily when working from that space of alignment–all sorts of awesome stuff shows up. You have a beautiful mind!

  41. Newbie bloggers, did you download the eBook?

  42. Are you armed to the teeth?