He may as well have said it.
But he simply extended his middle finger and gave a glare that’d have made Satan himself piss his pants.
After cutting off another 3 Wheel Lankan driver for the second time our driver allowed venom to flow from his mind, to his arm, to his middle finger. On giving the other driver the FU Salute he barreled on until we reached our location.
I stared at him confused; 1 part wanting to strangle him for endangering our lives over a 3 Wheel Grudge and 1 part awe-struck at his Mario Andretti like driving skills.
Just another day riding 3 Wheel Lankans in Colombo, Sri Lanka.
Kelli and I rarely took 3 Wheelers around Colombo. Walking sufficed in most cases. Lean tummies. Flowing energy. Avoiding dying in a fiery death as 2 drivers slug it out in lightweight Lankans.
But we had no choice in a few instances. Had to 3 Wheel it.
Note me in the image above as a sense of scale. The 3 Wheelers are small, unstable thingees that can and do move quickly around the city.
The problem with some 3 Wheel Lankan drivers; a small crowd adopts the reckless driving of Southeast Asia and combines it with the anger and flat out rage of your typical Tri-State driver here in the NYC-NJ area.
Take Thailand or Bali; folks drive mad sometimes, running stop signs, running lights, doing asinine stuff. But since face-saving culture rules, even if someone cuts you off, virtually all folks smile and move on. Shitty Driving does not turn into Aggressive Driving.
A select few 3 Wheel drivers in Colombo are skilled but reckless drivers who turn dangerous driving into angry, Death Wish Driving experiences, for their pea-brained selves and their vulnerable passengers.
Cut someone off.
Someone cuts you off.
Speed up. Get ahead of the driver who cut you off. Give said driver the finger. Glare.
Reckless, then outright Death Wish Driving in Colombo, our driver being the Charles Bronson of 3 Wheelers.
Our guy that one day seemed as stable as Kim Jon Un after a late night feast scarfing down the Long John Silver’s Seafood Combo Platter. Not good. Bad. Very, very bad. So bad I genuinely believed we would die during the ride.
Imagine feeling like Frogger from the video game. Except you are in the 3 Wheel Lankan.
Visualize a driver somewhere between an enraged tiger and Kim Kardashian after someone shuts down her Instagram account (Or steals all of her 45 phones).
As I stepped away from the tuk tuk and thought the guy’s driving sucks sucks I figured it was my last time in a 3 Wheeler for a while.
Most 3 Wheel Lankan Drivers in Colombo Rock
Most drivers we saw and the few we rode with rocked.
Kind, friendly, stable folks. Some drove a bit like animals. But not like a male elephant during musth. I can live with that.
Certainly, the lion’s share (see what I did?) of 3 Wheel Lankan drivers in Colombo drive safely. The majority get ya from Point A to Point B in speedy, but safe, fashion.
Just know that if you get a wild one, be prepared to stop, drop and roll out of the 3 Wheeler before he hits light speed.