
Ortahisar, Cappadocia, Turkey
Some people donāt like me. Or they donāt like my work.
I get it.
Even if I publish the coolest eBooks, snap the most inspiring travel pictures and churn out kick butt, rock it out content, some folks wonāt dig my creations.
Why?
Contrast makes life interesting. If we all agreed on everything life would be bland as hell. I like chocolate ice cream, you like vanilla ice cream. I like Hootsuite Pro, you like BufferApp. Variety is the spice of life.
Case in point. I just discovered that:
- I can easily fix my Android Tabletās āupload to youtubeā issues
- I can easily upload short videos in a minute or 2
- I can easily upload *720 HD quality videos* to Youtube in a few minutes
Yes, kid in a candy store time. So happy I wrote for my clients already today and that I love writing posts because Iād have uploaded 10 videos by now, with my new, slick HD style presentations, instead of churning out this post.
Of course, keep an eye out for 1 HD quality video attached to my new posts. Thanks, Universe and thanks, Android support forums.
The thing is this: contrast makes HD style videos pop. After filming a few this morning in Savusavu, Fiji, the contrast between my handsome mug, the trees, the clouds, the gray skies, the flowers, and all that good stuff, creates a visually appealing experience.
Online Contrast aka Criticism
Being criticized is experiencing contrast. Thatās it. Experiencing contrast ā like contrast experienced through the good old, HD quality video ā creates an appealing experience.
If you didnāt live through rainy days you couldnāt fully appreciate a sunny day. If you didnāt experience sickness you couldnāt fully appreciate being healthy.
If you havenāt been criticized you canāt appreciate:
- Being praised
- Being fully clear on what youāre doing
- The strength of your belief system
Like the HD quality videos I can shoot through my tablet (videos that Iām quickly becoming obsessed with) the contrast creates the āpopā, or the pleasing, intense, wonderful experience.
The Problem
I know what youāre thinking; why in the heck would you feel good, or feel pleased, or feel wonderful, after somebody blows you out of the water? The critic did a few favors for you.
- Said critic helped you establish greater clarity in speaking your message
- Said critic helped you establish a more firm, resolute belief in your core values
- Said critic provided you with valued feedback, in some cases at leastā¦feedback that could accelerate your growth, if you listen to said critic
- Said critic indicates to you that youāre growing quickly, because once you leave your comfort zone youāll run into harsh critics from time to time
Celebrate, folks! Youāre on your way to becoming even more successful if youāre facing critics here and there.
The goal aināt to slam into as many critics as possible – Jesus surrounded himself with 12 apostles, not non-believers who wanted him dead ā but rather to handle criticism gracefully. Hang with like-minded people most of the time but learn how to face, embrace and mine gold out of criticism.
My Experience
The other day I received a healthy dose of criticism. A tweeter felt my blog post came up short, or didnāt deliver. I felt a little annoyed for a minute because the response dripped with sarcasm.
Then, I laughed. I took a deep breathā¦..and Iā¦..decided to write this blog post.
So how can you turn blogging criticism into gold nuggets?
Laugh
Noā¦.not a sarcastic laugh, or a āwho is this jerk?ā laugh, but, a āIām not taking myself seriously anymoreā laugh, changes your vibe immediately.
After reading the feedback with a sarcastic twinge I became agitated. A minute later I laughed. At me. For being so serious.
Hey, I offer blogging tips. Not exactly life and death stuff. So I can stop taking myself so darn seriously by belting out a hearty laugh.
Most bloggers feel hurt, or offended, or feel the sting of criticism because they take themselves too damn seriously. Lighten up. Relax. Laugh. Set the stage for the other tips.
Read Slowly
Honest to goodness, I found this tip out on my own, and it works like magic. Read each word spoken/written by said critic SUPER slowly. I did so the other day, to experience a miraculous shift.

Do you think these guys care about critics? I hound them about their mackerel addiction. They don’t care.
Itās almost like the collective sentence or 2 loses its power when you speak or read each word slowly and deliberately. The mind slows down, the feelings dull, and you feel a sense of calm, and peace, as you digest the statement(s) word by word.
By reading the tweet slowly, I felt less agitated, then, I felt calm, peaceful and in balance. The sting died. Lost its power.
Not sure why, but darnit this approach works so well.
True or False?
After laughing and reading the statement slowly I took the next step: I decided if the statement was true, or false.
The critic/tweeter felt that a step-by-step, How To tutorial was in order, and all she received was some marketing takeaways, after reading my post. She wished me luck after that, the intention being, Iād need it, to draw in traffic or readers.
So, I read the post in note. The title indicated ā12 Lessons I Learned from Selling My eBookā. I never promised a step by step guide, or a How To type tutorial. So, her statement was false, not true.
I could ignore this criticism. At least to this point.
Evaluate Truth/Lies
I re-read the post. I shared my unique experience, that nobody on earth can share, so my advice wasnāt generic in any way. As far as a takeaway, yep, the basic topics I discussed have been explained by guys like:
- Seth Godin, Chris Brogan, and every single marketer whoās walked the face of the earth since civilization
Said critic probably follows these takeaways, as did the first marketing ancient Babylonians. Nobodyās re-inventing the wheel folks. Weāre all following the fundamentalsā¦.BUTā¦.guys like Seth, and Chris, tell such a special story, from a different perspective, and in their own voice, that they stand out from the crowd.
Her second bit of feedback was a truth-lie. Sometimes, youāll see truth-lies, when assessing criticism. Sure, I shared marketing takeaways ā like every human being whoās ever created a marketing post ā but they are MY marketing takeaways.
Iām not special, but I worked for 5 years to hone my writing voice, to build my friend network and to deliver a story-rich experience to you. So yeah, my marketing takeaways are unique, because nobody else can own them.
Truth: I shared marketing takeaways. Lie: the inference that the shares were bland, or generic, was not true. Hence, this one was a truth/lie.
Listen to Comment/Social Feedback
Many commentators Ā at Blogging from Paradise are my friends.
Many commentators at Blogging from Paradise ā who are my friends ā are successful, prospering, trusted bloggers, whose word is their bond.
That means, they tell the truth, in their eyes, which means, they wouldnāt complement a blogger, unless they meant it.
This post generated a ton of positive comments and social media feedback from respected, successful, objective bloggers, and from respected, successful, less objective bloggersā¦.who still wouldnāt lie to me, to risk losing their repā¦so I felt the feedback was largely positive.
This blog post was also in alignment with my voice, my writing style, and my brandā¦.and since Iāve received endorsements from some serious heavy hitters recently, from multiple niches, I felt good, and clear, on the fact that I delivered.
If I feel good, and clear, and happy about the fact that I delivered, then I donāt feel like the criticism is warranted.
The A**hole Factor
The twitter critic I received the other day was lobbed my way from a kind person involved in some awesome causes. Bless her.Ā You donāt need finishing school to be a good person, and again, contrast makes life interesting.
But you need to keep the a**hole factor in mind. Trolls, or plain, simple, unhappy people, project their misery, and unhappiness, onto others, through either harsh or downright brutal criticism.
Weāve all faced it at one time or another.
I recall a guy a few years back who said I had the āposture of an earthworm.ā I started laughing at him over the phone because I thought it was legitimately funny, and I credited the guy.
That was a turning point for me. Without even trying to do so, I was getting under this guyās skin and he got angrier and angrier because I found him, his tactics, and the whole baiting situation laughable.
I eventually hung up on him after Iād had enough laughs and had to get back to work.
Some people are miserable, unhappy a**holes. Accept this. Which brings us toā¦.
All About them Nothing About You
Criticism says everything about the other person and nothing about you.
This means, angry, negative people may tend to offer angry, negative criticism. Or a kind, happy person whoās having a bad day may offer angry, negative criticism.
Or a happy, kind person whoās having a good day will offer such positive, constructive feedback that youāll never even knew it was criticism.
Donāt kill the messenger. Just understand that how they choose to view the world and how they choose to project their energies determines the nature of their feedback.
Use Criticism to Expand Your View
Critics present you with a different viewpoint. That new viewpoint expands your range of vision.
I recall a few folks telling me that my old theme, on my old blog, was crap. āCrapā is the G-rated word. I wanted to respond with an āF Uā because I was narrow-minded, lacked confidence, and deep down, I knew that it was in fact true, that my theme was crapā¦.but I simply ignored the feedback.
After a few more criticisms I caved. Then, I decided not to cave, but to see my theme and blog from the new perspective offered to me from these critics.
My theme needed an upgrade. I couldnāt see this with my former narrow-minded view, but critics expanded my field of vision so I could see the truth. I upgraded, and my old blog grew quickly after that theme change and branding infusion.
Develop the Profitable Habit of Being Compassionate
Sure, critics may seem like ā or may be ā miserable jerks, in the moment, but when you view critics as unhappy, unclear people you begin to develop compassion.
Compassionate people can feel your pain. Compassionate people can feel your worries, or know how your nightmares, or problems, feel.
Compassionate people lend a listening ear, and in so doing, they are able to stress your paint points and theyāre also able to match the dream they are selling to the pain points youāre experiencing.
Iāve attracted some loons over the years. I know these critics were super unhappy, angry people, whose problem was with themselves, not me.
Even though they seemed to be jerks at the time I soon learned that miserable people love to project their misery, and self-loathing, and anger with themselves, at me, and at other people around them.
Knowing this, I became a more compassionate person. I felt their pain. Even if I refused to respond to insane ramblings, or pure hate, I still felt compassion towards these folks and I learned to cultivate my compassion for all struggling people.
Develop Selective Ignorance
If Iām really clear on some topic and feel good about the idea, or post, or eBook, or whatever, I may be open to feedback yet I ignore certain criticisms. Like, if someone else criticized the post I mentioned above, with the same criticism, Iād feign selective ignorance, ignoring the post fully.
Why?
I donāt have enough time to waste time. I may be selectively ignorant when dealing with trolls, or other angry folks.
In truth, the most compassionate thing I can do is ignore them. If I respond, I feed their energy. I teach either angry people, or folks who are offering poor feedback, through some defective mechanism, that their criticism is not worth a response.
Example: if someone told me my brand sucks, and it lacks originality, or that I didnāt speak my voice, and that my brand was bland, itād be like them telling me I had the body of a little girl.
Itās so far out of the realm of reality, for me, that it sounds silly, laughable, and of course I wouldnāt take it personally.
So Iād ignore their criticism. Selective ignorance time.
Why?
Well, my brand is pretty darn neat, and is original (no other blogging-tips blogger I know, in the world, blogs specifically from paradiseā¦.and if there is a paradise blogging tips guy or gal, they canāt tell my story), and I speak my voice, and my brand has some flavor.
In the same regard, I am no Mr. Olympia, but Iām pretty jacked, and my body is usually not confused with the body of a teenage girl.
Both scenarios are ridiculous, and since the feedback/criticism is so far from being true, for me, and since Iām clear, and confident, in my truth, I ignore these off base critics.
Make a Friend for Life
I recall a long while back receiving an email from a young blogger. We had connected a few times.
Said young blogger commented that I was charging way too much for my freelance services ā at $25 per article ā and that these rates were not reasonable at all.
Of course, $25 was probably way too low at the time, and Iām charging a bunch more per article now, but I had to set the guy straight. Or at least, I had to explain that charging $5, $10, or $15 per article devalues you, and your work, and sets the bar way too low.
The guy I had the exchange with was Amal Rafeeq. He later designed my old blog ā an inspiration for my current design ā and nudged me to write my old eBook āĀ which was practice for my new eBook ā so yeah, I made a friend for life through criticism.
He wasnāt harsh in his criticism, but it definitely was criticism. I felt not too charged, or annoyed by it, so I simply responded with what I knew from my freelancing experience.
I made a friend for life. Amal helped me when I was really sick in Muhamma, as we met during that period, and heās taught me about design and other stuff on the back end.
He rocks. I met him after he offered me some strong feedback, aka ācriticismā. Instead of tuning him out I opened up, listened, and offered my insight to him, and a friendship was born.