BloggingfromParadiseHorror

I was introduced to an alien in a horrifyingly intimate fashion.

The Scene: paradise aka Pak Nam Pran, Thailand.

The sleepy community on the Gulf of Thailand is a spot for both well-wheeled Bangkok money, modest locals and the odd cattle farmer. We’re talking a Thai melting pot, kinda like the Siam version of mixed vegetable curry Jambalaya.

Anyway, I had passed out around midnight. March Madness back home so I watched some afternoon NCAA basketball tournament games from back in the States.

After dozing off a few times I knew beddy-bye was calling me. The Sandman beckoned(in more ways than one). So I conked.

Soon enough I was to experience my own version of March-madness, Thai Style.

Waking to a Ghastly Horror

 

I woke to a strange tickling sensation on my face. Felt weird. Either a mischievous Thai gal – or lady boy – had sneaked into the crib and got naughty with a feather or something else was transpiring.

(I spared mentioning Kelli as the possible guilty party for fear of sullying her Live Life Made to Order Brand.)

So I ruled out a kinky katoey or some other weird, strange source of the fickle tickles.

I hadn’t – in a gazillion trillion years – entertained the idea that I may be forming a nice, tidy, somewhat muscular dance floor for something with hairy legs, inch long antennae and a resolve unmatched by any critter in the animal kingdom.

The tickles started by my forehead…..all while I was in that in “between sleeping and waking” state, known as “What the hell am I asleep or awake?”

The tickles slowly trickled down to my pie hole. I felt a slight breeze on my lips.

My eyes slowly opened. Shit just got real. Really real, here in paradise, in pristine Pak Nam Pran, Thailand, beside the glorious Gulf of Thailand.

As I came from that netherworld into consciousness I felt the tickle scurry down my chin, to my neck and then, the funny little sensation made its way down my somewhat muscular chest.

Pardon my Frances, but….at this moment….I yelled (out *loud*):

Holy Shit!”

I knew it. This alien-look alike, this critter from another mother, this hellion, was working its merry little way down to my navel, the tickle heading towards my pickle, when I FULLY woke up.

I had gone from zero to 60.

From being in a tropically-induced, Siam stupor into a moment of pure awareness.

I felt like I jumped into a bath full of ice, being jolted into reality, at the flip of a switch.

That switch….that tickle….that was coming too damn close to my pickle…….was…….

A 2 Inch Long Cockroach

Carl the cockroach had done the tarantella – how’s that for irony? (Large, saucer-sized huntsman spiders in Thailand eat these roaches for lunch!) – across my body, tap dancing his way into a performance that would have won him a spot on Dancing with the Stars.

Oh yeah, back to the alien thing(teaser/lead in for this post). Have you ever REALLY looked at a cockroach up close? I mean, really, up close and personal? Probably not.

I can hear the sounds of retching building into a cacaphonous crescendo out there.

I’ll take that as a, “No Ryan, I had not the heart or mental instability to look one of these suckers right in the eye.”

 

Stared Said Creature in the Grille

 

I did. Not by design though. But I did, from eye to inch long antennae, and I gotta tell you…..Sigourney Weaver may just have found a co-star in one of these little buggers, if she so chose the remake route.

Carl looked like a little, living, breathing alien, then we was OUT, heading back to his demonic lair, scattering like the blazes when I became fully aware that a 2 inch long cockroach had tap danced on:

  • my forehead
  • my mouth
  • my chin
  • my neck
  • my chest
  • my legs

…and I saw the guy, up close and personal, and he looked not of this world.

The Aftermath

 

After I kicked my legs about like a child who had just lost their rattle Carl the Cockroach flew to the floor like a sack of flour.

I had stunned him.

Big time.

I grabbed the broom to sweep Carl out of the room. (I don’t kill things unless I’m eating them….generally)

Carl was a smart little SOB. I guess that’s why you survive 400 million years, from the time of the dinosaurs, right? I mean, these guys can be fried in a microwave for up to a minute without succumbing. It’s been theorized that they could live through a nuclear holocaust. So a white-ass, fraidy cat farang in Thailand wasn’t gonna pull his card any time soon.

Carl scattered – and I mean, he BOOKED – quickly, and scooted underneath the bed. I reached with the broom, swinging like Rafael Nadal, trying to forehand Carl into the dark, 3 AM, stifling Thai night. Carl was 1 step ahead.

He headed for the hills…..aka the huge drawer against the wall….and he screamed:

Sanctuary! Sanctuary!”

(stunned that you happened upon a Hunchback of Notre Dame reference today? Me too)

Carl was free. For tonight at least.

I attempted to take a deep breath but the adrenaline-induced cocktail had my heart racing to the point where I believed it would never slow down.

This moment of sheer, abject horror was the *most intense, scary, terrifying travel experience I’d had during my 3 and a half year trip around the world.*

I was:

  • days away from death after losing 20 pounds in 10 days due to a horrific case of giardia in India
  • involved in a terrible motorbike accident in Bali where I hit the pavement Superman style and was bed-ridden for 4 days
  • semi-coked out in Peru and could barely pull myself off of the bathroom floor for hours after suffering through devastating food poisoning

.and THIS experience, this riveting roach episode, was, hands down, the most terrifying, alarming, intense, scary moment of my travels.

Why?

The 3 Reasons

 

I was terrified to the core by my fright-filled run in because:

  • I was completely surprised by the encounter
  • one of my worst fears had come true
  • I had stepped into the true meaning of the word “uncomfortable”

I mean, for starters, I had no clue in hell what was happening at first. Imagine waking to a tickling sensation, which first felt funny. Then, the old monkey mind kicks in and the wheels start a’turning. Then, horror begins to set in as you process a few sobering, terrifying realizations. Then, you move fully into the experience, where you have a full realization that an alien-looking, foreboding, strikingly intimidating cockroach is running all over your body.

Feel the Roach’s Radiance

 

You can feel its hairy, long, crispy legs tap dancing on your mouth.

You can feel its antennae probing your belly button for signs of crumbs. (Jeez, I ain’t that much of a slob Carl!)

The horror, the terror, and the sheer panic I experienced in about 1-2 seconds, when I felt Carl make the quantum leap from my abs to my ample, somewhat shapely thighs, was the culmination of one of my worst fears.

Prior to this moment, I had believed the word “uncomfortable”, when guys like Tony Robbins and Joe Vitale and Randy Gage used it, simply meant it felt like wearing a sweater that was a bit too tight.

Hell, I do that every day with my infamously famous young T-shirts (look to your right for Exhibit A to Infinity) and I am still feeling kinda OK, right?

But being “uncomfortable”, I found out in this moment, could mean being blindsided by your worst terror. I know, because Cantankerous Carl showed me that one of my worst fears could happen in a split second, and in that second, I would experience the true meaning of terror.

If you haven’t been swept out of your living room by a cascading wave of your own vomit after reading my graphic, in-depth and vivid description of my traumatic experience, congratulations!

You’re about to learn the secret of Blogging from Paradise.

You’re about to learn the secret of how this sometimes considered handsome, inspiring, square-jawed man went from broke ass security officer in Bricktown – aka Newark, NJ – to a world traveling, full-time, professional blogger who’s lived for MONTHS in places like:

  • Fiji
  • Bali
  • Costa Rica
  • Malaysia
  • Thailand
  • Laos
  • Vietnam
  • Cambodia
  • Sri Lanka
  • India
  • Nepal

You’re about to learn how a blogger went from hearing tumbleweeds after publishing a post to receiving endorsements from famous authors.

You’ll understand how a self-conscious person went from shy to cyber speaking at NYU.

You’ll learn how a guy who had 4 cents to his name and was $70,000 in debt has built a professional, full-time blogging career AND more importantly, a freeing, inspired lifestyle.

Carl the Cockroach teaches you – and taught me – a most profitable blogging lesson.

He was the roach version of John Chow, the vermin version of Pat Flynn, a lower life form who was doing his best John Lee Dumas impersonation. (please follow each of those champions immediately)

 

1080 HD Video in Paradise aka Bali

Watch this short video to see where Kelli and I will be living for the next 4 months.

How’s about that for some Bali blue skies?!

Carl, through his hundreds of millions of year’s worth of evolution and intimidating exterior shell, appeared to have done me dirty, but that little prehistoric prawn-type presenter padded my bank account.

Here’s the deal guys.

My Most Profitable Blogging Lesson

 

I found a fortune in my horror.

Let me tell you why:

My Most Profitable Blogging Experiences Were Borne in Horror

My Most Prospering Online Experiences Were Borne in Terror

My Most Clear, Direct and In Your Face Lessons, Filled with Humiliation, and Anger, and Frustration, Inspired Me to Build an Online Empire

All of my blindsided moments, my shots from left field, the body shots I hadn’t been looking for, the smacks upside the head…..instantly……

..moved me into the most FREEING SPACES OF MY LIFE.

Every fiber in your being would do everything possible – unless you’re Jack Hannah, or a cockroach fan, or an entomologist, or unless you’re into some type of insect-style sado-masochism – to get away from the cockroach.

You’d do everything possible, in terms of preparation, to absolutely eradicate cockroaches for good from your human experience.

People spend billions of dollars or more doing whatever they can to kill roaches. Raid. Poison. Or, just plain cleaning like a germophobic fool.

I didn’t fall asleep for 3 hours after Carl tap danced on my head, mouth, chest and legs.

I was horrified. But I was freed.

I mean, I did everything possible to cancel this most terrifying scenario in my mind, and from my experience, yet, it happened, and it may have been the most cathartic, freeing experience of my blogging life because I learned the ultimate lesson:

Bloggers who experience the most uncomfortable moments free the greatest number of people.

Please re-read that line.

Re-read it again.

I freed me by facing my most intense fear AND that fear popped up on me from out of nowhere.

The Blogging Lesson to Take to the Bank

 

I can hear you while I’m writing this.

All the way from Bali, from the Ring of Fire, I can hear you.

I will NEVER write like that in my life. Ever!”

That bastard is lucky.”

He’s pretty hot.” (ok that one’s a reach)

He’s talented, he’s a natural.” (kinda makes sense considering I write 6,000 words a day….or maybe not, pertaining to your view of practice as making you better….or worse?)

These are uncomfortable, low energy limiting beliefs, playing over in your mind.

They kinda suck because they keep you bound but then there is a new, more intimate level of fear, or terror, and of horror, that you likely harbor.

If you’re a human being you may be:

  • terrified to receive your first nasty, negative comment
  • horrified to work like a dawg for 6 months only to see scant pennies in blogging income
  • mortified when someone exposes you as a fraud (or when this scenario plays over and over in your mind)
  • terrifyingly afraid to succeed
  • terrifyingly afraid to fail

As bloggers, the profits, the money, the freedom, like in the fear you would experience if Carl the cockroach ran all over your body while you were sleeping.

The shock of the terror, coming out of left field, and the horror of the sensation, of roach legs running along your lips, are the exact UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS that most bloggers NEVER FACE so they NEVER FREE THEMSELVES, or become their true selves, that self which would make money blogging with ease, and that self which would tell frighteningly funny travel stories, and that self who blogs from paradise, and that higher self which inspires their readers to free themselves.

What I’m saying is this: all the blogging stuff that you want and all of your dreams lie on the other side of terrifying, freeing actions.

Because once you have faced the horror, which surprised you, and which took you completely off guard, they ain’t so powerful.

The freeing actions may be:

  • starting your email list (holy isht nobody’s gonna sign up and HOW embarrassing will that be?)
  • writing your first blog post (people don’t care what I have to say, and even if a few people read my posts, they’ll expose me as a freaking fraud which will be mortifying! Aka….as painful as that Carl the Cockroach story)
  • learning how to respond to your first hater (they’re out there kiddies)
  • writing your first eBook (please read my friend Richard Martin’s blog ’cause he’ll set you straight when it comes to boosting product sales Smart Income Detective)
  • quitting your job to become a full-time, island hopping, pro blogging fool (this day WILL come if you want to live the glam, somewhat TMZ stalking worthy life Kelli and I live)
  • networking aggressively even while it seems like everybody is ignoring you

..wow…..this list could go on forever. I do say that a lot, with my bullet point lists, and for good reason; our fears are numerous. I ain’t immune from them.

The Strange Situation that Free Folks Get but Everybody Else Seems to Miss

 

I am largely free. I still am addicted to Thai sweets, and stumble and fumble my way here and there, and screw up here and there, and do make mistakes, but I have freed myself to the point that I can travel to any tropical paradise on earth at the drop of a hat, as I bring my mobile sources of income with me.

I am no Dali Lama of blogging, a free individual, void of ego (DUH, have you checked out my selfies recently??) but I am kind of a free dude whose chief mission is to free my readers, so that they can retire to a life of island hopping through smart blogging.

The strange situation I wish to note is this……most bloggers who fail to build a full-time income generating blog, and who fail to become full time digital nomads, carry the same level of terror/panic and horror, as I carried when Carl the Crafty Cockroach blindsided me, when it comes to:

  • starting your email list (holy isht nobody’s gonna sign up and HOW embarrassing will that be?)
  • writing your first blog post (people don’t care what I have to say, and even if a few people read my posts, they’ll expose me as a freaking fraud which will be mortifying! Aka….as painful as that Carl the Cockroach story)
  • learning how to respond to your first hater (they’re out there kiddies)
  • writing your first eBook
  • quitting your job to become a full-time, island hopping, pro blogging fool (this day WILL come if you want to live the glam, somewhat TMZ stalking worthy life Kelli and I live)

Yeah I cut and pasted that because I am both lazy and because I wanted to drill home a point.

The Freeing Actions You Are Terrified to Take Are the Actions that Form the Bridge from Amateur Blogger to Professional Blogger

Please re-read that capitalized line so you get the point.

Again.

Again.

Re-read it.

Again.

Now, take a deep breath. Curse yourself for a few minutes. Hell, I know the feeling. I am a full time blogger, ya know? I beat myself up like 3 to 13 to 545,535 times – or maybe less – over the past 6 years online for being a coward.

Envision a blogging version of Ric Flair, the Nature Boy of online entrepreneurship, being pummeled with a folding chair, beaten with barbed-wire bats and slapped with study 2 X 4s….yet I was doing that to myself!

I knew what’d free me yet I didn’t walk down that path. I was too terrified to do it.

Now, if you attempt to publish your first post you may not squeal like a pig in terror – I didn’t do that on meeting Carl I promise – or you may not feel your heart beating out of your chest, Roger Rabbit style – that I DID EXPERIENCE when Carl and I did the Thai Tango – or you may not feel the full manifestation of the fear, the horror, and the overall concoction of seemingly overpowering negative feelings……but…..if you think about it for a few moments….you’ll realize that the only reason that you didn’t panic like a little wimp is because…..

.you wasn’t blindsided my friend!

Imagine these Horrific Scenarios

 

  • You’re fired and lose your primary source of income, now.

  • Your blog is yanked out from underneath you after you published 3400 posts on said blog after 6 years of working just about every day online.

  • You lose all of your money to where you have 4 cents in your pocket and are $50,000 in debt.

Those situations, my kiddies, are instances of being blindsided, courtesy of the Good Old Universe. Thanks benevolent, all knowing Universe! You da man/woman/no thing!

Oh yeah I forgot to tell you: I experienced each scenario above. I lived them. Wasn’t always a picnic guys but I learned an invaluable lesson.

The Universe pulled the rug up under me so many times, appearing to blindside me (for my own good of course) that I said, to hell with it, and decided to blindside myself.

Blindside” is code for: doing freeing but highly uncomfortable, scary stuff that most folks piddle in their pants even thinking about.

But that’s why you see awesome, successful, full time bloggers out there, rocking it out.

Guys like John Chow, and Pat Flynn, and Darren Rowse, all these guys did freeing but terrifyingly uncomfortable stuff until they naturally were more excited to do freeing things than they feared the uncomfortable nature of the freeing acts. Then, they freed themselves, and they freed their audiences and they are prospering more by the day.

These guys are celebs, the A listers, and while I shark my way up from guppy-dom to reach these Great White type circles I see how freeing it is to do sometimes scary, terrifying things. Like envisioning yourself as a bug-eyed guppy. (Go ahead do it…freaky right?)

The Terror and Blogging

 

Re-read that bullet point list.

If each scenario unfolded in your life, now, you’d be just as terrified as when Carl decided to disco on my pecs. You’d be in absolute horror, maybe to the point where your heart would beat how my poor little ticker was beating that fateful middle of the night, in Thailand.

That’s the connection. That’s the lesson.

When you do the most profitable things, they happen to be the most freeing things, and these most freeing things will be either the most terrifying things you’ll ever experience, if they blindside you (like me and Carly Simon of Siam, if it was in fact a chick….sorry for the misogyny) OR, if you choose to take the initiative and you decide to take the plunge on your own, these scenarios will lose their power of surprise, and even though the fear is SUPER strong, and seems overpowering, you’ll dull the intensity of the fear because you’ll be more in the driver’s seat.

Does that make sense?

Thai Terror on Piglet

 

I felt like punching that jackass.

I mean, didn’t he realize the spot I was in?

He insulted me on Piglet! (Piglet was my motorbike, ya know, not a hog, but a sweet little porker)

I had to put up with this crap from a lippy Thai motorbike rider, all while making a terrifying turn into a deluge of traffic, with a flat freaking tire. On Piglet. My most prized piggy. I shall defend your honor with a flaming Thai skewer. That’s how they roll on the streets of Thailand, sometimes (or in my vivid imagination).

Just 30 seconds before I popped a tire. Hit a nail, right outside of Jungceylon Mall in Patong, Phuket.

Patong is a bit like Mos Eisley of Star Wars fame. Just picture the cantina.

You’ll never seen a more wretched hive of scum and villainy….well….you know. And if you don’t know, stop reading now. Drop everything. Watch the Star Wars trilogy. Then, return to Blogging from Paradise.

Thank you.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

I was trying to pull into a heavy traffic situation. Let me clue you in; in a place like Thailand, people generally don’t give you a motorbike break. They’s a coming and they ain’t stopping for you.

It’s on YOU to aggressively turn into an endless stream of traffic that mirrors the chaotic scenario of lemmings diving off of a cliff, one following the other to their violent, if not spectacular deaths.

Yes, it’s like each person/motorbike rider is on a Siam suicide mission, hellbent on NOT letting you into the flow of traffic and using any means necessary to prevent the turn in.

In this perfect storm of chaos I had to grow a set of cajones and cut in.

So I did. Otherwise, I’d still be waiting to make the turn….and waiting…..and waiting………and waiting.

After cutting suddenly in front of oncoming traffic a Thai man leaned on his Vespa horn – how intimidating is that right? – and cursed me out in Thai. Pissed me off. Because Thai are huge on saving face and for someone to curse out a farang – a foreigner, or me, RB – is a pretty damn big insult.

I kept my cool. I preferred not to be stabbed with a homemade shank, thank you.

Anyway, I dealt with the:

  • flat out dangerous situation
  • angering situation
  • agitating situation
  • annoying situation

..because I loved being free.

On Phuket if you don’t drive a motorbike you’re paying sky high taxi fees to the now defunct Tuk Tuk Mafia, or you’re just paying high taxi fees.

Or you’re sitting in your apartment for the month.

You NEED a motorbike or car to get around on the spread out, super-sized island.

Since we wanted to be free to enjoy the island, to go to:

  • Nai Harn Beach
  • the movies at Jungceylon
  • our Buddhist vegetarian restaurants in Chalong
  • the grocery store: Tesco or Villa Market

..and about 15 other places we visited on Koh Phuket…..I needed to learn how to drive the motorbike.

That took me about 20 minutes. Highly uncomfortable experience I might add, but you know the drill by now: to be free, you must make uncomfortable, freeing decisions.

The Blogging Meld

 

Yes my friends, we have returned to blogging tips. Profitable blogging tips to be exact.

To make money blogging you’ll be just like me, getting frustrated, angered, agitated and quite annoyed, trying to turn into Thai traffic on that fateful afternoon in Phuket.

In your case, the annoyances, agitation, fears, terror and all that good stuff will be slightly different.

The angry Thai guy may be an agitated reader, just chomping at the blogging bit, waiting to rip you a new one a la the old school Simon Cowell. Or the new school. I just don’t want that much TV in international waters. And if I do, the folks are speaking in a dialect with far fewer vowels, quite unlike my New Joisey tongue.

But……to be free – like, to make money blogging, so you can become a professional, full-time blogger – you’ll need to knife through these hellishly uncomfortable situations.

My tire was flat and I was grossly inexperienced driving a motorbike in such heavy traffic, with Thai guys (and gals) who wouldn’t exactly listen to Officer Bird’s Traffic Edicts (was he just on TV in NJ?).

Your blogging tires may be flat (no ideas) and you may be grossly inexperienced (you don’t write 500 or 1,000 words daily) and you’re facing heavy traffic (mounting bills, more responsibilities), and your version of the Thai guys and gals not giving you break are friends, or family members, who give you hell for dreaming about becoming a full time blogger.

Here’s what you do. Here’s how you navigate through the traffic, through the adversity, and through the noise, to become a full time, digital nomad living, professional blogger.

I was hungry to be free, to go to the movies, to go to the beach, to veg out at the local Buddhist vegetarian restaurants in Phuket, and not to be a Siam slave to these overcharging Thai taxi drivers, who make Phuket – void of public transport – their own little farang fiefdom. I decided I wasn’t gonna do the “I’m a white guy so label me an ATM please” bit in Phuket, so I learned how to drive the darn bike.

My desire to be free was greater than my fear of doing uncomfortable things.

This is the great tipping point. This is the point of no return. This is the point where you’ll start doing freeing, epic things, that inspire other folks to do the same freeing, epic things.

The Secret Method for Getting through the Cosmic Crap to Create Your Dream Life

 

I still shake my head. I mean, it doesn’t look real. It REALLY does not look real.

And to think that I snapped this shot with a halfway decent camera and NO filters?

Amazing!

How to Build an Online Empire through Blog Commenting was one of my fave books to write, for both the subject matter, and for the cover matter. I snapped that shot myself. I didn’t need to be a Picasso either to create such brilliance; Nagigi Beach, Fiji is paradise.

I’ve not seen a beach like it. I now understand how the ocean looks in an area with no pollution.

I fully expected to bump into a slightly-bloated Tom Hanks on the beach (strange that he looked fat, in Cast Away, right?) who would toss Wilson at my head, just for laughs.

This beach was/is perhaps the most gorgeous, pristine beach on the face of the earth.

And…….I took a $2 bus ride there from our home in Savusavu, Fiji at the time to see it.

Let those words sink in.

I always wanted to be able to take a $2 bus ride to a gorgeous, pristine, postcard picture perfect, Hollywood type beach on a day off.

Imagine that.

Having the freedom to be able to do that.

I still almost can’t wrap my head around this life and I live it! Daily!

This post is not going to become an endless advertisement for Tom Hanks, his questionable weight when stranded on a deserted island (I mean come on, really? I’d have made Olive Oil look like Ronnie Coleman after being stranded for 5 days), or a travel agent push for Nagigi Beach….although you NEED TO GO THERE.

I wanted to share the secret with you.

Here it is:

You get through the cosmic crap to live your dream life and you’ll reach your blogging goals and you’ll build a profitable blog and you’ll work from home and travel the world and visit such stunning places when……

.Your Love of Freedom Becomes Greater than Your Fear of Doing Uncomfortable Things.

That’s it.

That’s my life in a nutshell.

The practical tips, well, I could go on till the cows come home.

Profiting through blogging is easy for people who do freeing things.

How do you fall in love with being free, even when your life doesn’t appear to be freeing?

How do you fall in love with your dreams, even when every fiber of your ego tries to tell you how difficult it is to write blog posts, and publish eBooks and make money blogging, and to build a profitable blog?

Blog to Free Yourself and to Free Your Audience.

So we now know a few things; I’ll turn a strange travel experience into a blogging lesson, at any cost. We also know I’ve inspired large, imposing, hideous-looking creatures to tap dance on my lips.

We also know that taking freeing action despite being terrified forms the bridge from amateur blogger to professional blogger.

Now we

Now you need to know how to take freeing, inspired actions, despite being scared, or terrified, to publish your first post, or to publish a 7,000 word post weekly, or, despite being horrified to tell a story of your failures, or despite being really, piddle in your pants scared, to tell a story detailing your successes.

Here’s how to take the freeing, profitable actions, you need to take, to become a globe trotting, full time entrepreneurial, digital nomad…..or, a full time, work at home entrepreneur, if trotting the globe is a little too rich for you.

The Freeing Tips

 

  • know why you want to blog; tie that reason to freeing yourself
  • tie that WHY reason to freeing your audience
  • don’t blog to make money; blog to free your audience (then money ideas sneak in the back door like a deft, Hobbit-like, barely undetected thief, then you move into money making actions, then you make money…..you need a LOTR reference was coming, didn’t you?)
  • dive into your terrors; your blogging fears die quick, sudden deaths if you do freeing things regularly, because little itty bitty p*ssy fear waves in your mind can’t compete with your desire to be free
  • write your story, tell your story, and build your brand on your story, if you’re doing the solo blogger bit……your story makes you authentic, unique, genuine, and it’ll help you craft a ridiculously neat, dreamy-life
  • dwell on that prior bullet point because it’s so freeing; you are as mentally gifted to tell a freeing, inspired story about your life and about your life’s events as Kate Upton is likely to be cast in a commercial flaunting her….”assets”…you gotta like those percentages, right?
  • Spend 30 to 60 minutes daily working on your mindset; as within, so the blogging without, meaning that as you clear the inner junk you’ll move into inspired actions, which’ll be freeing actions, and you best believe that your blogging fears will go into cardiac arrest, losing their juice, their life force, their essence, and when your previously overpowering blogging fears die you’ll become some kinda wonderful blogger

You Gotta Know Why and It’s Gotta Be Freeing

 

I remember seeing a pair of *old in the tooth* Bali boobies 2 months ago.

30 minutes later I saw our neighbor showering in a pig sty.

*In* a pig sty. A hefty, well hell, a 500 pound behemoth pig lay by his feet.

The squalor wafted through the air. Pigs ain’t much concerned with hygiene, ya know.

And the guy took a shower, in this sty, this pit of filth, this den of dread, smiling like the Cheshire cat the whole time.

I laughed my ass off. Ha! Old Bali boobies – more of the flap jack variety – and guys showering in pig stys? Are you kidding me?

I always wanted to be free. That was my why. I always wanted to see whacky stuff like this. I always wanted to travel the world, and I wanted to live in Bali, and frequent Fiji, and I wanted to chill in Koh Lanta, and I simply chose to become emotionally involved with this love of freedom, to the point that I did the inspired, freeing things, that needed to be done, in spite of any terrors I experienced while doing the inspired freeing things.

My hunger/desire to be free to see such whacky, off the wall, and flat out fascinating stuff (maybe not the older lady’s front stuff but the pig sty shower was pretty intriguing) was as strong 4 years ago as it was today. That desire to be free drove me, when appearances on the outside didn’t look to freeing (Translation: I appeared to be struggling like a desperate mud skipper caught way too far inland during low tide, or for those who hadn’t lived in Koh Lanta for a month…..like a fish out of water).

Cool travel blogger break; read this blog for fun, entertaining, sometimes whacky travel stories: Wagoners Abroad. Alan and Heidi know how to tell fun stories, including one about the somewhat uncomfortable, prickly, intimate and downright funny-sounding Cambodian Custom of Scrotum Shaving Weddings.

It Has to Be Personal

 

This is business not personal Sonny!”

The line replays in my mind, the classic Godfather quote, the iconic plea that Tom Hagan shouts at Sonny.

Well guys, you’d flip of Fredo, and you’d terrify Tom, but you’d get Sonny Smiling, because to fall in love with being free you NEED to make your freeing driver a personal, intimate experience, chosen by YOU and you alone.

Your Freeing Driver: How to Find It

 

I can light the spark. You may read a bizarre story, or you might form a passionate love affair with my list emails (that is called a teaser, or a sneaky variety of product placement, but either way, sign up for my list…..just look for the ugly green bar at the top of the page), or you may just decide that you want to blog from home, full-time, because that’s your most cherished dream.

Great!

Fine tune your MFD: Most Freeing Dream. Feel it. Feels awesome, right? You gotta do this stuff on your own because that dream juju, that dream mojo, develops a god-like, or demi-god-like (depending on your choice of either deity or underworld demon) avalanche of a force that carries you on to do things you’d never dreamed you’d do to create a spectacular life far beyond your most freeing, vividly inspiring dreams now.

To You Full Time Pro Bloggers Who Want to Take it up 16 Notches…or 2 Notches

 

I listened to a wildly fascinating podcast recently.

Tony Robbins and Tim Ferriss shot the bull talking about…..everything.

Tiny Tim and Titanic Tony – looking at them side by side made me think of Mothra beside one of the Shobijin twins – discussed among other things why so many astronauts burn out after returning to earth. Some come back from space at 30 years of age and feel like they’ve hit the peak of their lives, and get into trouble. What the hell is next?

Freedom.

Freedom.

Freedom.

Wanting to be free goes well beyond goal achieving. Freeing yourself and freeing those you love and freeing your audience, well, you’ll be flat out high if you stop grabbing for numbers and if you start finding an emotion in you that provides you with unlimited bliss, joy, genius creativity, and unbounded happiness.

I give thumb up to Blogging from Paradise. I live in Bali.

I give thumb up to Blogging from Paradise. I live in Bali.

As a disclaimer; I only have like an iota of each.

Picture me as a more hairy (on top) version of the Dali Lama (who has none of the Dali Lama’s qualities) who blogs about strange stuff, tells somewhat funny stories, may be happy here and there and can make a reference to the Shobijin twins of Mothra fame and the Dali Lama within 5 paragraphs.

See the Freedom Around You

 

Imagine being a big old ball of freedom.

You are free to:

  • eat
  • cruise the internet (unless you’re cursed by Net Nanny, hehehehe)
  • get some sleep at night
  • find shelter during storms
  • read my blog posts
  • buy my books
  • get drunk off of my life of freedom (please, read responsibly)
  • dream endlessly
  • act inspired
  • free others
  • help others
  • publish blog posts
  • make friends with blogging pros through blog commenting

..and add about 14,549,001.01 other freedoms to this list, if you spend a few minutes dwelling on your freedoms.

Once you become a big ass ball of freedom, and focus on how free you are, now, and once you design your MFLS: Most Freeing Life Scenario, you’ll take those freeing actions that I harp on, that you’re probably sick about hearing, and that may cause you to want to toss your laptop out of the window, or to bury your iPhone in the ground, or to terminate your tablet with a knife to its nerve center.

Freeing Blogging Actions

 

Exhibit A:

  • write 2,000 to 6,000 words daily
  • publish one, 7,000 word or longer post weekly
  • connect with a bunch of authority bloggers through persistent as hell blog commenting (this is how Ryan B and Blogging from Paradise appears to be everywhere when I only have 14 Dopplegangers and 32 Cyborgs working in my employ)
  • yadda…..yadda…yadda….

You have 30,000 practical tips at your disposal. Read my eBooks. Read my posts. Today ain’t for getting practical, as far as blogging tips, because……The Profit Follows the Freeing Acts.

These freeing actions may or may not be practical in nature. Depends on how badly you want to be free.

If I am speaking to a hungry blogger who’ll run through a brick wall or who’ll willingly submit themselves to suffer through giardia in India, to live their blogging dreams, if I tell ’em to write 6,000 words daily they’ll write 6,000 words daily.

They want to be free (write 6,000 words daily) more than they fear being uncomfortable (Ego chatter: “OMG when will I have time to sleep? I have no ideas! I can’t write! I’m a terrible writer! blah blah blah ego ego, ego is #1 I love being scared and miserable by comfy hahaha I win again”).

See how sadistic the ego is? I have interviewed more than a few in my day, including my own. Kinda like a little devil, seated on your shoulder, coaxing you to take comfortable but confining actions.

Carl Did Me a Solid

 

I had formerly conquered that BS cockroach fear. 2 years before.

Hoi An Henrietta, a lesser-sized but equally alien-looking cockroach, scrambled up my right arm in Hoi An, Vietnam, as I tossed out the garbage. She wasn’t ready to be tossed out with the trash. So she sprinted, Carl Lewis style, up my arm, to my shoulder.

I could have done 2 things at this point; allow her to sit there like a parrot, to create a whole different branding feel to my online campaign at the time, or I could have slapped her armored behind off of my sweaty arms. I went with the latter option, whacking her into the lush Vietnamese vegetation.

2 years ago, I thought I was over the fear of being touched by cockroaches.

I was mistaken. BOY was I mistaken. Carl taught me a lesson by blindsiding me deep in the Thai night, at 3 AM, by the Gulf of Thailand.

Fear found me again. (Batman quote for all of you Dark Night fans out there)

The blessing? After the fear found me I was less terrified of being touched by:

  • 3.5 inch cockroaches in Savusavu, Fiji (yes I swear they get that big, and the flying ones need to get permission to land from Fijian Control Tower)
  • smaller roaches
  • spiders
  • hell any critter out there

I killed that fear. Mostly. So it wasn’t nearly as strong.

The Blogging Profits You Crave….

 

..are masked in freeing, terrifying acts. Which is why you’ll train yourself to become more in love with being free than you fear doing terrifying stuff.

All the blogging high rollers out there know it. The real playas, living that freeing lifestyle, the Donald Trumps of the digital nomad sect, the Larry Elisons of the lazing on the beach, travel blogger circles.

Become more in love with:

  • blogging from home
  • blogging from paradise
  • freeing yourself
  • freeing your audience
  • opening unlimited sources of income
  • traveling the world

..than you fear:

  • writing 7,000 word blog posts
  • telling your story
  • being reamed out by critics
  • publishing your first book
  • failing

.and develop that love of freedom, so that it guides you, inspires you, pushes you and prods you by:

  • spending 30 to 60 minutes daily on personal development
  • meditating
  • visualizing
  • affirming
  • exercising daily
  • listening to hypnotherapy audio files
  • reading inspirational books

.and doing whatever it takes to become in love with being free, so that you love of freedom guides you.

Luang Poo

 

Stop it. I hear you laughing. Yes, it’s pronounced how you read it, and yes, it’s one may find it funny that a gentlemen who preaches healthy living, a high fiber diet and ample water consumption would reference such a living legend.

I learned about Luang Poo from a Thai meditation book I came across in Koh Lanta, Thailand. LP was an enlightened Thai monk. He is free. He experiences fear, then he knives through his fear like a hot knife through butter. Because he’s free. Not bound. Not chained.

We of the worldly life, the people who like to desire and to crave and to lust and to do all that other stuff consistent with an episode of True Blood, we won’t become as free as Luang Poo but we can slowly and steadily knife through our fears, like a chilled knife, through hard, frozen butter, 1 millimeter at a time.

Do that, by dwelling on your freedoms, now. Then, dwell on the freeing life you dream of living. Then, get excited that this life is coming into form. Surround yourself with folks who are freeing themselves at an exponential rate (ahem, I know one such guy, and he’s often seen lifting small tree trunks in Costa Rica)…..

(insert tree trunk picture)

.and surround yourself with guys and gals like Pat Flynn, John Chow, and Donna Merrill….and hang with other folks who’re freeing themselves like Wifey Kelli Cooper-Biddulph.

The profit you seek flows in on the tails of freeing actions. The more you hang with free folks – or somewhat free folks – the more your blogging cajones grow, so that you’ll be excited to do the freeing, profitable stuff that frees your audience….and that helps you make that sweet, sweet blogging money.

Summary

 

This post in a nutshell: being horrified by a cockroach walking on your lips will help you make that sweet, sweet, cinnamon bun glaze-y, blogging money. Take freeing actions – or be blindsided by them – to become a pro blogger, even if you’re terrified to take them, so terrified that you’d have thunk that good old Freddy Kruger was the orchestrator of your blogging nightmares.

On a side note, I once saw a dude in India with nails that would have made Freddy Kruger feel inadequate. I would have donned an Elizabethen Color if he moved 2 inches closer to me, to safeguard my jugular. That my friends, is a story for another day.

Takeaways

 

  • Ryan wore a Carl the Cockroach mustache and lived to tell about it
  • Ryan may be up for starring in the sequel of The Vampires Kiss (if you click the link be forewarned; that’s a REAL LIVE cockroach!)
  • Moving into freeing actions cuts through the terror of being blindsided by your blogging fears, and these same freeing acts make you a prospering blogger
  • Luang Poo has a funny name (he’s my guru though)

Your Turn

 

How did you turn a profit blogging?

By taking free action?

Or by being blindsided by your fears?

Or through both vehicles?

Do you despise Carl? Will he keep you awake?

Have you signed up for my list yet? You better…..Carl is waiting in the wings, hehehehe (Sinister Siam Style)…….

Call to Action

 

Scroll up.

Look to your right.

Buy a book. Or buy an eBook. Or buy 5. At once (Deluxe Combo packages available). You choose.

Each is a fun, practical, super easy to understand read for newbies through seasoned, long in the blogging tooth veterans.

Whether you’re a young blood, Young Turk, wet behind the years blogging babe or a Blogging Yoda, with 700 year’s worth of experience, you can take a bold step toward making your blogging dreams come true by picking up one.

All are helpful, inspired study guides to be read, studied, read and studied. Quite unlike a fine wine that’s sipped, these suckers should look like papers on the floor of Grand Central Terminal after you’re done with them. (Or on the floor of that rest stop/public toilet/house of Hindi horrors in Central India, where I paid a service fee to

Blogging from Paradise goes to Changi Airport in Singapore.

Blogging from Paradise goes to Changi Airport in Singapore.

watch a snake climb inside the window, only to see him voyeuristically watch me “rest” in the room…..)

Oh yeah, please share this post on all of your social networks.

And remember to sign up for my email list. Just find the ugly green bar (yeah just like this color) at the top of the page, and enter your email address.

Let’s spread the Blogging from Paradise word to help free you and your buddies.

Until next time…..enjoy paradise! Last request….I promise…realllyyy…..post a review on Amazon after picking up your Blogging from Paradise book of choice. Thanks guys!

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Ryan Biddulph

Ryan Biddulph is a blogger, author and world traveler who's been featured on Richard Branson's Virgin Blog, Forbes and Neil Patel Dot Com. He has written and published 126 bite-sized eBooks on Amazon. He can help you retire to a life of island hopping through smart blogging.
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