Why Avoiding this Disastrous Blogging Mistake Accelerates Your Success (and How to Cure Underdog Syndrome)

September 8, 2014 47 thoughts
Joe Cool aka me on Savusavu Bay, soaking up another postcard-perfect day.
Joe Cool aka me on Savusavu Bay, soaking up another postcard-perfect day.

 

I read a post recently. Or I mean I read the post title. The title didn’t motivate me to click through.

The blogger explained why you should double your failure rate. Honestly, they did. I’ve seen other bloggers explain why seeking out failure is a great thing.

One blogger recently made an argument that setting the goal of failing a bunch of time is the way to go.

Really?

If this is the case why bother succeeding?

 

Blogging from Paradise: 1 Pressing Problem Faced by Struggling Bloggers

 

Setting a goal to double or triple your failing rate is about the most asinine piece of advice you could give to a struggling blogger. Some of the bloggers above mean well but taking a look at their blogs revealed a few things:

  • Unless they’re miraculously clear on their blog design/traffic/presentation they’re struggling like hell
  • They’re heavily focused on failing, and are doing a pretty good job of failing
  • Their self image is in the crapper
  • They carry an “Underdog Mentality” that causes them to program themselves to fail, because they continually set up difficult obstacles to overcome on a subconscious level
  • They have issues with deserving, in most cases, because the only person who feels that you need to/should fail many times, in order to succeed, believes that they don’t deserve good things now

Guys, before you trust some blogger’s advice check the source, OK?

1 problem is faced by virtually all struggling bloggers. I know because I suffered through that problem. Despite all of the good advice you see, use and process, and despite all of the fab posts you’re writing, and despite all of the industry leaders you’re connected with, if your mindset sucks, DEEP DOWN, on a subconscious level, you’re  guaranteed to fail.

My problem for about 4 years online was that even though I was largely positive I still had deep rooted issues surrounding:

  • Deserving good things
  • Money
  • My subconscious tendency to set myself up as an underdog who faced struggle after struggle

Kelli Cooper (click it to follow my guru), my astute fiancée and blogger extraordinaire, noted these tendencies. On more than a few occasions I mentally told her to “F*ck Off” after she pointed out my mental blocks to me. But she was right. I had to face these issues to be free of them, and I did have these issues.

Sure I was largely a positive, high energy dude who ran a kinda neat but not at all clear blog. My mental game needed some work.

Deep down I believed in the advice that failures shared with me. I wanted to double my failure rate. I wanted to push myself to overcome more obstacles.

If you think this sounds silly, and that there’s no way you’re in the same boat, I have news for you; you’re likely lying to yourself if you’re struggling or if you feel frustrated about your blogging growth.

 

The Worst Problem with Doubling or Tripling Your Failing Rate

 

If you seek out failure, failure will follow you because….

“Wherever your attention and energy goes, grows.”

What you focus on expands. So if you’re setting the asinine, foolish goal to fail like crazy because you believe this will lead to success you’ll actually:

  • Fail more miserably than you could ever believe
  • Attract failures to your blog
  • Attract losers to your blog
  • Attract unhappy, angry people to your blog
  • Ignore good advice
  • Ignore prospering blogging ideas
  • Network with failures
  • Never network with the blogging leaders you need to connect with to succeed
  • Make little money blogging
  • Avoid writing eBooks or offering services or developing your own products because naturally, these activities would promote your success, and since your compass is set to fail, you’ll fail, and do stuff that promotes your failure

Stop making it your goal to fail, because you believe that failing leads to success. It doesn’t. Trust me, it really, really doesn’t. Listening to successful advice, talking about your victories, acting on successful advice and surrounding yourself with wildly successful people promotes your success.

 

One of the Dumbest Blogging Mistakes

 

Sharing your failures, post, after post, after post, after post.

Throwback picture time. From March 2013 in Phuket, Thailand, one of my favorite spots in the world.
Throwback picture time. From March 2013 in Phuket, Thailand, one of my favorite spots in the world.

What would I want to learn from a failure? How to fail?

Did guys like:

  • Tony Robbins
  • Richard Branson
  • Jeff Bezos

….become some of the most successful business people on earth by talking about their successes most of the time or by talking about their failures? Of course, they shared their mess ups here and there but if all they did was share their mistakes they’d attract to their business people who:

  • Had no money
  • Had no direction
  • Were mired in failure
  • Were mired in struggle
  • Were mired in the habit of blaming, or giving away their power

As you may imagine, these folks are poor candidates for growing an online business. Both as mentors and customers.

Broke people can’t pay for products or services. Failure conscious folks don’t know what it takes to succeed.

Tony Robbins noted how early on in his blogging career that he sold a product for $5000 dollars. Do ya think he’d attract people who could afford to drop $5000 on a freaking personal development course if he talked about his screw-ups more than once in a blue moon?

Hell no!

Tony explained that he was flat broke when selling big ticket produts, with minestrone acne, fake gold chains, a 2 piece suit bought from a thrift shop and a piece of sh*t car he parked 5 blocks away from his clients, all of whom were rich doctors, lawyers or other professionals, who drove Mercedes, and who would have laughed and drove away if they saw his piece of sh*t car.

The broke loser spoke so much of success, and what his products would do for you, that he broke sales records, selling these $5000 products to a massive audience, and this guy went on to have a net worth of $300 million when his company went public.

Do you see how speaking about your successes most of the time and going light on your failures attracts to you successful people, money, and success, SO much more quickly than mentioning your failures frequently?

The money, large audiences, and success lies in the hands of successful, rich folks you need to connect with, and soon-to-be-successful folks who’ll pay their last freakin’ dime to buy your product or service, or who’ll stay up until 3 AM to read your latest blog post and to put that bad boy into action, using your practical tips immediately.

Check out Lewis LaLanne’s golden Tony Robbins lost tapes recording for a ridiculously inspiring story detailing these experiences.

 

Do Not Fake It till You Make it Blogging Wise…..But….

 

……accentuate your successes. I don’t care much about learning how struggling bloggers, fail, but I do love folks who focus their attention on their successes, as this shows me they may be a good match, for me, and maybe, if they keep vibing high, I’ll comment on their blog or promote them, because I believe in people who are going places.

Here’s how it’s done: for every time you tell a story about the failures you’ve experienced, and the mistakes you’ve made, talk about your successes 20 or 30 times.

Example coming next.

 

Blogging from Paradise Is a Rousing Success Because….

 

….I overcame being a broke security guard with 4 cents in his pocket and little clarity in life (the failure part) to:

  • Travel the world for 40 months in a row
  • Build a blog which pays for my travels
  • Build a blog which pads my savings account
  • Build a blog which has seen a massive surge in traffic and social media shares in under 11 weeks
  • Write an eBook endorsed by a New York Times Best Selling Author and also a million dollar earning blogger
  • Gain an invite to speak to a class at prestigious NYU
  • Run multiple prospering online businesses
  • Publish 3400 blog posts (on my old blog)
  • become a damn inspiring dude
  • rent villas in Bali for a month at a time
  • live in a home with a million dollar view in Fiji for 4 months
  • travel to places like Costa Rica, Peru, Thailand, Indonesia, Fiji, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Nepal, India
  • travel through places like Japan, Taiwan, Australia, El Salvador, Myanmar
  • be featured on nearly 30 blogs in 12 weeks
  • inspire a ton of folks to chase their dreams to retire to a life of island hopping through smart blogging
  • give successful bloggers a platform to spread their word and to inspire more people
  • be retweeted by dudes like personal development icon Brian Tracy
  • generate 16,000 page visits in a single day to my old blog
  • write posts like this
  • become free of mental demons from my past, including depression

That’s 20 success stories versus 1 failure story. Sounds about right to me because I’m here to teach you how to succeed, not how to fail, and fail, and fail again, to then succeed.

 

The Glimmer of Blogging Hope

 

Speaking of your successes and focusing on successful people’s daily activities makes you, too, believe that you can succeed despite any temporary struggles you may be experiencing.

Inspired folks make you believe that you too can become an inspiring, island-hopping, pro blogger.

Buy my eBook here to crack the blogging income code. You may just engineer a freeing lifestyle too.

That’s my job. To share my successes….and more importantly, to focus on teaching you how to succeed as *quickly as possible.* Now we’re not hurrying here; patience is required, to do things right….but there is absolutely, positively no excuse, or reason, for you to be in a holding pattern, or to fail, for 1, 2 or 5 years, or longer, blogging-wise.

If since my first post went live 12 weeks ago on Blogging from Paradise, you’re not generating more traffic, or more blogging sales, or you’re not being interviewed regularly, you’re:

  • ignoring my advice
  • not writing 500 to 1000 words EVERY day
  • not posting 5 paragraph or longer, in-depth, thorough comments on authority blogs
  • not promoting authority bloggers aggressively
  • not trashing your old, failed blog
  • not automating intelligently
  • not setting aside 4 hours or 6 hours to sit quietly in a room to get through your mental sh*t/problems, to gain clarity in why you’re doing what you’re doing, to trash your old blog, to buy a new, inspired domain, so that you can move forward with full clarity in what you’re doing, so that you can talk about your success 99% of the time, and attract successes, and become more successful…

When Blogging from Paradise becomes 12 weeks old I’ll likely have been featured on 30 blogs.

Re-read that; let that success soak in. A 12 week old blog helped me generate 30 plus features, from guest posts, interviews, eBook reviews (read Adrienne Smith’s helpful review of my eBook please) and smaller features/snippets.

How’d it happen?

I shared my failures, via my About Me page, and I shared some more failures, via my posts, then I talked about my successes 99% of the time because I quickly learned that talking about your successes attracts freakin’ SUCCESSFUL people, and it also attracts struggling bloggers who’ll run through a brick wall to follow your advice and who’ll do anything short of pimping themselves out, to buy your product or service.

These folks showed up immediately, after I went live with Blogging from Paradise, because I was 100% clear on my blog, my niche, my ideal reader, and since I persistently did my mental homework, to defeat Underdog Syndrome, I talked mostly about my successes, to attract success.

Do mention what you overcame. Connect with folks. Prove that you’re human. But of course, push that stuff to the side quickly.

 

John Chow

 

John Chow is a guy who makes $50,000 a day through blogging. Or at least he’s made $50,000 on some days. He’s made millions and millions and millions of dollars through blogging yet he rarely if ever talks about his failures or struggles.

Why?

He’s too darn busy talking about his successes and sees how much more success he’s experiencing by talking about his success!

Makes sense, right?

Some struggling commentators on his blog ask why he doesn’t share his failures more. He never responds.

He’s already shared his struggles. Get your lazy a** over to his bio, to read them, if you want to learn how to be broke, and then buy his damn book, and start making money….at least, that’s the response I can imagine the no-nonsense John Chow crafting for these folks who need to wake up, get their self image out of the toilet, and get serious about prospering online.

 

Tips for Overcoming Underdog Syndrome

 

  • spend 60 minutes or more daily on developing a success consciousness; meditation, affirmation, reading self help books and practicing what the books preach
  • speak of your successes – dig to find them if you’re struggling, it’ll be worth it – 95% of the time on your blog
  • If you are still struggling to find success here’s what you do: set aside 3 to 4 hours daily to write 1000 or more words and to write 5 to 7 paragraph comments on 5 authority blogs…..even if you work full time…..then I GUARANTEE you’ll have a boatload of successful stories to share with your readers in 1 to 2 weeks…..
  • Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
  • Surround yourself only with successful people and let go failure conscious matches
  • Subscribe to my blog
  • Buy my eBook

 

Your Turn

 

Please share this post on all of your social networks if you enjoyed it.

Please subscribe to my blog. (form on upper right hand side of the page)

Are you sharing your failures too frequently?

Or did you kick this habit, and are you sharing your successes most of the time?

Are you only attracting struggling bloggers to your blog?

Or are you reeling in successful bloggers?

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Ryan Biddulph

Ryan Biddulph is a blogger, author and world traveler who's been featured on Richard Branson's Virgin Blog, Forbes and Neil Patel Dot Com. He has written and self-published 126 bite-sized eBooks on Amazon to help you with your most painful blogging mistakes. If you're struggling with your blog and feel overwhelmed with blogging information overload, Ryan can help you increase your blog traffic, comments and online income with the 11 Fundamentals of Successful Blogging Audio Course.
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47 Comments

  1. Kimsea Sok Says:

    Thanks for sharing Ryan..! Actually you did the amazing again here. Well, this really nice detail about tips to success with online blogging. You know..? I am going to do mistake since I plan to write about my failure, isn’t it..? LOL

    Actually, I learnt some of this from your ebook. You know..? That ebook is really amazing. I learnt a lot about what bloggers should do and not to do. I plan to write some reviewing about your ebook on my blog, but once I have to finished it.

    It is a bit busy in reading. Oh, no! I am not lazy..!

  2. John Wheeler Says:

    Failures teaches us how to be strong and fight back harder. It is a test of how hard we are in terms of accepting it and how we manage to stand up after a hard fall. Many successful people didn’t have a perfect life. Thank you for sharing some motivation that you shared.

    • John, it’s my full pleasure! We should seek winning or succeeding all of the time but failure does give us the opportunity to right the ship, or to move in a higher energy direction. It’s really all on us, and when we learn to win, or succeed, we’ll fail less and less over time. Thanks!

  3. Thanks for these tips Ryan. I think most bloggers can definitely relate to getting stuck inside their own head. Picking yourself up after a fail is hard but it is something we need to do and I think that sharing them can also help others.

    • Hi Kostas, well said buddy. We can keep going if we know why we want to grow, but changing the self image thingee is beyond critical. Thanks much.

  4. metz Says:

    Haha! “Sharing your failures, post, after post, after post, after post.” looks funny Ryan! I can’t see in your mind’s eye how will your blog page will look like after sharing your failures over and over again. For me, if that really happens, then you should stop blogging or stop sharing your failures. It wouldn’t egg on anyone, and I doubt if you’re just seeking attention and wanted to look pitiful, then it is not a good idea!

    All the things you shared Ryan must be avoided. Failure could result something good IF you’ll LEARN from it and do not make the same mistake again.

    • Yep Metz, taking that step back is oh so important at times. Stop blogging, stop sharing failures, and think successfully. Thanks so much.

  5. hi ryan,
    i am very happy that i land up on this post. this is one of the coolest blog i have read in recent times. after reading your blog i feel that i can have my dream to live an internet life style will be fulfilled.
    i too have written about my failure on blog(just one) but i have used it just to show what i have learned from those failure. hope this will not send any negative message to my readers.
    thanks again for inspiration and great post.
    best..

    • Santosh, way cool dream too. Thanks so much for stopping by, and I know that you’re on your way.

  6. Anna Says:

    Ryan, this is my first time commenting, but I’ve been reading both your and Kelli’s blogs for a few weeks now.

    I try hard to be grateful for everything, but I completely admit that I have the underdog mentality. I don’t expect success (though I want it, but I always have a voice inside my head telling me that I’m not good enough, and wondering if what I write is dumb). I believe a lot of this stems from me never being good enough to please my dad my entire life. And even when I told him that I want to start blogging, he said no one will ever want care to read about anything I write (blah blah… daddy issues).

    So as a result, when I started blogging, I had no confidence (and I’m ashamed to admit that it’s not better). I feel the only readers I can attract are struggling ones similar to me, and I’m terrified to comment on authority blogs. You suggest to write long thoughtful comments on authority blogs to find success… can I just ask exactly how it will help?

    Thanks for this article (actually, for all your articles)!

    p.s. I do have a blog, but as this comment got quite personal, I’m going to leave it out. 🙂

    • Hi Anna, I appreciate you sharing that. It must have been really, really tough, as I know seeing many folks around me with super low self esteem, I felt I wasn’t good enough for anybody or anything, or for any business, for most of my life. I felt that nobody would read my blog, or buy my eBook…but spending time working on my mindset rooted the beliefs out.

      Writing long comments helps you to become friends with influential bloggers, and some of these bloggers help promote you to their following, endorse you, inspire you and support you….and of course, you’ll do the same for many power bloggers too. Thanks so much for sharing Anna.

      • Anna Says:

        Thanks so much for the quick reply, Ryan!! It’s inspiring to know that such influential bloggers such as yourself went through the same murky waters, and turned it around. I’ve been reading Kelli’s blog and trying hard to work on my mindset. 🙂

        • Awesome Anna, yep Kelli just mentioned that. I believe in you…..keep on going, you’re doing great!

  7. Ryan,

    I had to digest this for awhile before commenting, because it’s something I’m still improving on myself. In fact, it really shook me to the core because here I was, thinking I’m all positive LOA girl, and I realized that part of me is still totally stuck in the underdog mentality.

    I do expect to succeed in the end, but at the same time I expect to struggle and have to fight through to that success, so…I do. Yikes. Granted I’ve come a LONG way from the self-depreciating smartass who blogged on ‘Single. Broke. Fabulous’ but it appears I still have a bit of work to do.

    I do think that sharing your challenges occasionally can be beneficial to your readers, so long as the focus is on how you overcame them and rose above. After all, as I mention in my last post, would Rocky have spawned 5 sequels if the guy had never lost a fight? 😉

    However, you’re absolutely right that success breeds success. Being raised in an Evangelical Christian environment where humility, poverty & lowliness were glorified definitely did a number on my psyche. A very genuine thank you for this post – now that I’m aware of this subconscious underdog mentality I will be able to catch it and stop it in its tracks.

    FYI, this is my 6th version of this comment – the first 5 were me arguing with you but ultimately realizing that you were right. 🙂

    • Hi Mandie, Oh have I ever been there 😉 Really, I was a total unknown online for years because inside, and outside, I argued for my limitations and told a story of struggle, which attracted failure, and struggling folks. When I talked success most of the time, I attracted success, and successful people. Much more fun scenario lol….thanks so much.

  8. The Guy Says:

    Another great inspiring post Ryan which I’m more than happy to share via Triberr.

    It is true that we can learn from our mistakes and we should. What is even better though is to learn from other people’s mistakes.

    I agree that we shouldn’t promote an air of let’s all fail. Better to try strategies and home in on the ones which work for you. I’m still working through what works for me and will continue to do so. I know what I’m proud of achieving and will use that as motivation.

    As always I love your positive mindset and approach to things. Your tale of things holding you back and stopping you succeed is a lesson for us all. Free ourselves of constraints and develop and learn naturally.

    Good on you Ryan, keep the great articles which motivate coming 🙂

    • TG, Thanks so much for that. I learned these lessons the hard way, for sure, and simply want folks to cut their learning curve instead of struggling for years. Have a great week, and hey look at that interview in your link 😉

  9. Karmakar Says:

    Hi Ryan,

    I do NOT know what to say… You have just described my first 6 months as a blogger…
    You are write about practicing writing every day at least 1000 words and that is what I did after 1st six months and eventually did it for next 6 months… 🙂

    After that I have made that into an E-book… 🙂

    But that writing practice has changed my point of views as now I can feel (for sure) that I can write better than many people as my articles are ranking higher for many many keywords and as a result I have started to get organic traffic… 🙂

    Just check out the YouTube video – My Success Story… Yeeeppeee… 🙂

    In my MBA course my teachers spoke about Positive thinking… Your article would have been the perfect case study for them… 🙂

    Regards…

    • Karmakar, that’s awesome. So many of us have taken this journey, so I wanted to share, to vibe with folks and to alert people making this same mistake. Thanks so much.

  10. Ravi Chahar Says:

    Hi Ryan,

    It’s a post worthy to markup for future.:)

    There are many bloggers who have achieved a lot and many are those who are struggling to get something from the bowl. Beginners try their hard to boost up their blog by taking advice from other bloggers. But as you said all the advice are not good and worthy to follow.

    Blogging is not a job to be done, it’s a lifetime work which can give you pleasure if you adopt it as your interest. Many bloggers recommend to write about the interest bloggers have.

    Failing is the part of life and in every business ups and downs come. But most of people double it by repeating their mistakes again and again. They need to figure out the perfect approach for their work.

    Thanks a lot for sharing this awesome article.

    Hope you are having fun this week.:)

    ~Ravi

    • Ravi, I love the lifetime quote. It’s true, this is no job. It’s a lifetime of work, a lifestyle really, if we want to do it right. Thanks so much.

  11. Ryan,

    Another winning post! I loved the video! “Giving freely to receive easily”
    “Being social and promote others” Those two things you have said in the video are the most powerful thing we can do. Giving without expectations will always bring you good Karma.

    But back to the beginning of the post when you mentioned that you read someone giving advice to write about failure. OMG…that will only bring failure vibrations back to you. How insane is that?

    It is a good thing Kellie had reached the inside of you and brought to light the “problem within.” Bless her heart! You have managed to face it and get over it and I know that is a difficult thing to do but you did it! ((clapping hands))

    I do believe it all starts from within ourselves. If we are go-givers from the heart, give it all we got and more, it all comes back to us in one way or another.

    It’s always great to share what made us successful, but we can throw in the obstacles we had to overcome. This will resonate with others because we all have one thing or another preventing us from success.

    Those “failures” are great teachers for us and we can share them in a positive way to others..as long as we tell them the answer.

    I had my own share of it when I first started blogging and I’m sure every blogger here had the same. But..using it as an example to others will help them see you as their equal. Because truth be known, we are ALL equal! That’s what will get reader’s attention and then they can benefit from it.

    Thank you for sharing this amazing share!

    -Donna

    • It really is insane Donna and quite silly. I like to catch folks when they start offering this advice to check them up, to prevent them from spreading these mind viruses. Thanks so much for sharing.

  12. Hey Ryan,

    Great post. I completely agree with this … which is why I don’t really report my failures anymore … and I’ve made plenty. But if you continue to have posts about different aspects of you failing, that’s going to backfire on you quickly because people don’t want to follow or get advice from someone who continuously fails.

    Now, there’s another issue to this whole thing. IF YOU FAIL and you write about it one time that’s fine. However, IF YOU FAIL and you acknowledged it before but then you’re sharing your most recent failures (which happen to be the same as before) then you have a big problem on your hands.

    NO ONE is going to trust a word you say, follow you or rad your content because you’re just proving to everyone that you’re incompetent. You realized your mistakes the first time, fine, but you didn’t learn from those mistakes or grew from them … so that makes you look like whatever you look like.

    All in all, bloggers shouldn’t do this. Nobody will buy the argument “well I’m just sharing my experiences and being transparent.”

    It makes you look foolish, in my opinion and I’ve made that mistake before and won’t make it again.

    Great post, Ryan.

    – Andrew

    • Andrew that incompetent point is funny and oh so true. Stress success to rock it out online. Thanks much.

  13. Mi Muba Says:

    Hi Ryan

    Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is not simply a phrase you mentioned here. This is the secret of happiness. I think all life coaches should include it in their courses to let people know that comfort lies in being comfortable with your being uncomfortable state.

    You also mentioned here great money blogger John Chow. I have been reading his blog for the last two years and never found there even any word of depression. While selling his products he remind the customers their strengths and not the weakeness. While narrating his own success or struggle story he shared the things which supported him and skip the bleaky hurdles which may cause sinking feeling to his audience.

    But doing all this we should not behave like an ostrich and fully ignore the second side of the result of our struggle. We fail or succeed. It is always 50-50. We do hard work to make the chances of success brighter and higher and try to beat the defeat with our power of struggle.

    Thanks a lot for sharing this very analytical and simple post to understand a big reality of life.

    I found this post at kingged and also kingged it there.

    Hope to see you again.

    Have a wonderful week.

    • Mi, What a keen point about John Chow. He always shares high energy but truthful advice. He bleeds success into all that he does. Thanks much.

  14. Adrienne Says:

    Hey Ryan,

    I probably wouldn’t have clicked on that title either if it was telling me that I should keep on failing. One thing I learned last year when I was still in network marketing was that you shouldn’t be upset about your failures because you’ll have them just like you’ll keep getting those no’s. The more you get the more you should be excited because that’s bringing you closer to all the successes and the yeses. I never was under the impression that they were teaching me to only go for the failures and the no’s though. It’s how we interpret the lessons right!

    I do agree that we need to remain positive but know why we’re here and what we’re after. That’s the only way we’re ever going to reach our desired destinations.

    I’ve been on my own self improvement journey and like you I’m a very positive person and I don’t have a negative outlook about money. I’m not 100% where I should be I would say in my overall thinking because I definitely still have my moments but I do believe that everything is falling into place like it should.

    Your advice about having success with your blog is spot on. I hope that with the advice you’ve given that more and more people will start taking it and getting some great results. It takes time but it’s worth it.

    Thank you for the mention and again, was happy to write that review for you. That’s what friends are for! 😉

    ~Adrienne

    • So true Adrienne, how we interpret out lessons leads to success in life, or failures. Our perception and acts make it so….thanks so much 🙂

  15. I really believe that what you speak and what you think is what comes. The more you concentrate on success, the more it happens and likewise the more you concentrate on failure, the more it happens.

    The difficult thing is putting it into action and it is very easy to let those negative thoughts enter your mind (even without you realising it sometimes).

    I was at work today which is a complete disaster zone. We are being “reorganized”, hospital beds closing, everyone being reshuffled around to who knows where and the entire air is filled with dread and uncertainty. This is just one of the reasons why I am SO determined to quit my job, as being in an unhealthy miserable environment does not help to feed the positive energy. I come home exhausted and the last thing I want to do is turn on my computer and start blogging. It is this negativity that can really fuel the fire for failure….if you let it!

    Focus on the positives, follow those that are successful and put into practice the advice….then we can be blogging from paradise too!!

    Sharing now via Triberr!!

    • Putting it into action is challenging Catherine – like the hospital situation – but like you said, it can give you awesome contrast, to push you to be free . Thanks so much.

  16. Hi Ryan,

    Indeed, success stories makes you more successful and failure stories keeps you real. The rule is simple as you said, 1 percent failure stories and 99 percent success stories.

    There is nothing stopping us from going big and having success other than our inner self.

    Focusing and having a clear vision is the beginning and success is the fruits along the journey. There is no end until you decide for it.

    Great post buddy. 🙂

  17. Hi Ryan,

    This makes a lot of sense to me on a very personal level. I used to be the kind of person who only talked about failing and so for a very long time I did just that – failed.

    I didn’t believe in myself because I never gave myself the chance. I surrounded myself with people who thought in a similar way because it helped me to validate how I was feeling. As such it only made the situation worse. I had a blog that sucked. It didn’t grow, it was utter rubbish.

    In short this all changed around a year ago when faced with a difficult financial situation, I had to re-evaluate the way I was living my life. Within a year I’d gone from no job and struggling to get by, to being completely self-sufficient.

    All of this because I chose to embrace success instead of settling for failure. The key turning point was not accepting other peoples negative comments. The “oh you’ll never get there” or “that will never work” comments. Instead I sought out the company of people who were really living the success they’d created.

    It works and I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who thinks this way!

    Thanks for this Ryan,

    Stacey

    • Amen Stacey, I took such a similar road. It’s more fun to talk success, share victories, and succeed, right? 😉 Thanks much.

  18. Hi Ryan,

    One of the first things I learned from speaking to a fairly large audience, was that I shouldn’t take about failures or examples of what people shouldn’t be doing. I used a few bad examples and I got several negative reactions during the break. People don’t like to hear about failure, I believe that if we “promote” failure, they’ll associate us with failure, even though at the same time, I believe it’s important to look at the things that doesn’t work.

    -Jens

    • Jens that is a *spot on* observation. Successes we want to attract want to hear about victories. Thanks so much.

  19. Ryan,

    It’s quite possible that the title of that “failure” article was just a trick to turn heads. I’d be willing to bet that the author was trying to communicate a message like, “you just have to put yourself out there more and be WILLING to fail” then “you should talk about your failures”.

    I only say that because I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when I can… but that doesn’t make the message of your post any less awesome! You’re so right. There are several different benefits of developing a success consciousness– not only do we build a reputation for being successful, we also develop ideas about ourselves that make us happy. So I say, why not, right?

    I’ll make sure to share… okay, who am I kidding, I share everything you write =)

    Have a great week!

    • Thanks much Brittany I appreciate that 🙂 Yep, developing our success consciousness has so many awesome benefits. You should keep on, keeping on, and do as successes do, to inspire, and to smile.

  20. Tom Leonard Says:

    Ryan:

    Finally. I don’t have to feel like I am not doing it right if I don’t continually go over in great detail all of my failures and shortcomings. And it is actually a good thing if I talk about my success. What a relief.

    I am a huge believer in the law of attraction and, as you point out, if you concentrate on the bad things and when things didn’t work out, then you should not be disappointed when you are dealing with people with problems.

    I come from a background where I was fortunate to work with very smart people doing interesting things. That is what I want to talk about because those are the types of people I want to attract.

    So thanks for validating what I have been practicing. Just starting on my blogging journey and it will be a blast.

    And keep up the Savusavu photos. It keeps reminding me of my Peace Corps training right down that road. Those were the days.

    Tom

    • Hi Tom, Oh yes, Kelli and I love the LOA. What we focus on, grows. I’ll keep sharing the Savusavu photos, loving this spot. Thanks so much.

  21. For some people, I imagine blogging can conjure up similar feelings felt by people fighting a heavy weight championship?

    Michael Spinks vs. Mike Tyson is a prime example where I believe one person went into the ring expecting to win and one went in expecting to lose. You could see that Michael Spinks was defeated before the bell even rang. And this big, bad hulking individual got knocked out in the first round by a kid, the youngest person to ever compete for the heavyweight title.

    It was a completely different story when Evander fought Mike Tyson. You could see during the ring walk that Holyfield felt supremely confident that he was worthy of being in the same ring with Mike and that he indeed had a chance at winning.

    I believe the majority of bloggers come into this game feeling like Michael Spinks. Defeated at the thought of going head to head with the likes of the Heavy Weight Champs of their niche. And I think this feeling is magnified by 100 times when they enter a crowded field like “teaching about content marketing”.

    The thing most casual fans of boxing don’t know about is that Mike Tyson, when he was an amateur absolutely destroying his competitors, would cry before every one of his fights because he thought this was the fight he was going to lose. He talks openly about this now and there’s even footage of him doing it.

    But his saving grace back then was a man by the name of Teddy Atlas, his trainer. Teddy would calm him down and remind him that if he just followed his instructions and trusted in all the training they did, that he would do perfectly fine. And he did.

    But the absolute demise of Mike Tyson was when he lost the trainers – Teddy Atlas and Kevin Rooney – that helped consistently take the right actions so that when push came to shove, desirable results came out the other end, in spite of him being deathly afraid.

    Fear is another thing that big bad Mike Tyson openly talks about. He says that any fighter who says they’re not afraid before a fight is lying. The difference between the winners and the losers comes in supreme faith in their preparation and having someone in their corner who reminds them between every round of what they’re doing right and what they need to do next in order to keep the upper hand on the match and, on their fear.

    I think a good business mentor serves a similar purpose. Like an good boxing trainer, they know what we’re feeling and can relate to us as most of them have been there before (they weren’t just naturals who immediately fell into success), they know what we need to do succeed, and they know how to get us to do what we need to do on a consistent basis.

    I trust people are in the hands of a good trainer with you Ryan.

    After I’m going to finish this comment, I’ll be continuing with the transcription of a tape where Tony Robbins is doing a live guest event back in 1991 to get people to come to his $500 dollar Unlimited Power Weekend.

    At the very beginning of it he says,

    “Now I haven’t done a guest event like this in almost a year and what I want to do is make sure that we answer some of your questions and give you some experience of our technology and I’ll share with you a little of my background because my background relates to what is necessary to take your life to the next level.”

    I think there is immense value in talking about our challenges and defeats . . . primarily AFTER we’ve done something to overcome them and have emerged out of the other side a bigger, better person from having surmounted the challenge and are now sharing the lessons we’ve learned as the result of having had this experience. Tony is a marvelous at doing this and your post about how your traveling mishaps could help us become better bloggers did a magnificent job of this as well.

    This is vastly different than being the Eeyore in life where something bad happens to you and you just use this as an excuse to publicly have a pity party for yourself on your chosen social media channel/blog in an effort to gain sympathy from others.

    Don’t be that person.

    Shit will happen. Life will attempt to knock your ass out. And what you do with the blows life deals will determine what happens next.

    When you have people like yourself to reach out to via their books or via personal contact, they can set you straight and get you doing what you need to be doing to get back on track.

    Recently I’ve come across a marvelous resource that speaks to how your wife does this for you. It is book titled, “Transformation Through Intimacy: The Journey Toward Awakened Monogamy” by Robert Augustus Masters.

    One of the core premises put forth is that in the same way that your eye will never see itself, but can only see a reflection of itself, you can never see yourself as you truly are. But other people can and how intimate relationships are where you can experience the most growth because those people see ALL of you as they are around you more than anyone else. And the rub is, this person who sees you can lift you to the next best version of yourself or contribute to making you a less resourceful version of yourself. In the book they discuss practices that couples can engage in that help make sure that they’re awakening brilliance in each other as opposed to doing the opposite, which is what the majority of people do.

    I’m glad Kelli is serving as a light in your life Ryan and the evidence of her being this for you is your continually evolving forward the way you have. I’m happy that you have that gift in your life. It is something to be treasured.

    Lastly, I want to thank you for mentioning the piece on my site here. It is greatly appreciated. I hope it makes a valuable contribution to your community here.

    Talk soon stud. 🙂

    • Lewis, I never knew that about Iron Mike. Few imagine the Baddest Man on the Planet crying before every match in his early days but we’re human, for sure, and get scared, and doubt, and fear. What a comment! Thanks so much for sharing with us. RB

  22. kelli Says:

    Hey Ryan
    1.Thanks for the mention, I deeply appreciate that as always.

    2. Telling me to f$$^ off wasn’t always just in your head 🙂 That part gave me a good chuckle–that was a Kelli-style share.

    3. Absolutely amazing post. While I definitely think it is a good idea for people to act in spite of fear of failing, realizing it is a possibility and knowing they can learn so much from it, I definitely don’t advocate going into anything with the idea of expecting to fail, and wanting things to be difficult.

    Like you said, that can set up some pretty nasty beliefs on the subconscious level, and that deeper part of our mind will naturally seek out experiences that reflect these beliefs. We will be doomed from the start. Sharing our failures can definitely help people, but like you said, we want to focus most of our energy on the successes.

    You are one smart cookie….

    • KC, LOL on the F*** off…you know I was more demonstrative in some instances. Good point; sharing failures keeps you human but sharing more about your successes attracts success to you. It’s an LOA thing. Thanks much Kelli.

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