Don’t Be a Need Demon: 7 Tips to Become a Supremely Confident Blogger
Author: Ryan Biddulph | January 18th, 2016 |
I get sick sometimes when I read “practical-tips-drunk” bloggers’ posts.
I know these cats mean well. I really do.
But the endless proliferation of the WHAT’S or the HOW’s will make zero difference if you don’t know WHY you are blogging.
Worse than that, 99.999999999% of struggling bloggers out there are “Need Demons.” A desperate, needy vibe permeates their being. They carry it like a repelling stench, telling influential bloggers to stay the eff away. This desperation or neediness is rooted in having zero confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Until you address your *Need Demon* ways you’ll be deaf and blind to helpful, proven, practical tips because hey: what desperate person makes sound, clear-thinking, profitable decisions. It’s like asking a greyhound to calmly sit in a holding pattern while a flurry of jackrabbits sprints by. That dog’s running! AND the desperate blogger will keep running from possible solution to possible solution in a frantic manner until they…..grow some blogging balls by….developing blogging confidence
Living La Pura Vida
As I sit here sipping Costa Rican coffee in gorgeous Rivas, a half mile high (elevation-wise, not on a caffeine buzz), I’m digesting the serene, beautiful scene outside of my window.
Across the street the Mighty Chirripo River cascades over enormous boulders, creating a soothing yet powerful White Noise which puts me to sleep each night. Lush forest surrounds the crib (apartment rental).
Monstrously towering mountains form a breathtaking, postcard-type picture for me to enjoy every single day for the next month.
I Mean…Really, Guys….
….do you honestly believe that I am living in paradise full-time *ONLY* because I followed practical blogging tips every single day?
99.9999999% (or more) of failing bloggers follow at least one of the basic practical tips, if not 5 or 10 of them.
Why is it then that I blog from paradise while most bloggers struggle like hell to gain readers, or to make enough thru their blogs to buy half a stick of used gum?
Because……after years of abject, miserable, wretched failure, where I flopped around in the mud like a fish on Ritalin……I……
……..Decided to Change My BEING Versus Changing My Doing………..
Ya gotta re-read that statement. Go ahead. Do it now. I’ll sip my coffee. Ahhh….tastes wonderful. Now I know why the local Ticos call it “grano de oro”, or “The Golden Bean.”
OK….are you back? Good.
My BFPers, my life and blog and direction changed dramatically the moment I decided to blog from the inside-out. I committed to changing not just my mindset but my being. I figured out that stunning successes in any field were:
- possessors of balls the size of the King of Bayonne
- high energy, rambunctious, disruptive dynamos changing their change for good
I put 2 and 2 together. I guess I put my Meteorology degree to work (Differential Equations and all that math jazz). After adding 2 Plus 2 I figured out that the happiest, most free, most well-known folks on earth were supremely confident individuals.
This supreme confidence was rooted in a different, Jedi-like, Zen-like, attractive being.
The Famous RB and the…..Kinda Well Known in Certain Circles RB
The other day I was featured on RB’s blog. Yes, RB was on RB’s blog.
Oops…forgot to mention: the blog was that of none other than Richard Branson. Entrepreneurial god. Empire-building Jedi master.
I appreciate the feature beyond words because the power of bribery and prayers offered up to Voodoo demi-gods….well I can personally say it works!
Richard is perhaps the ultimate example in adopting an infinitely attractive, loving, fun-seeking, freedom-digging being. He ain’t trying to be confident. He IS confident. He is so darn busy having fun and becoming more free, and helping others have fun and be free, that his detachment from outcomes makes him BE a supremely confident individual.
When you’re solely having fun and feeling free with any endeavor you are being Confidence. Because you cease looking outside of yourself for results to make you feel confident. Sure you’ll seek them out here and there (Tip #5 below) but relying heavily on your achievements creates a “Confidence Crutch” which torpedoes your life, your business and your blog.
Dicky Branson (that sounds funny) is really just who we are all born to be:
- a guy who loves what he does (we do this as babies)
- a guy who has fun doing what he does (we do this as babies)
- a guy who embodies confidence because when he’s having fun and following his loves, confidence flows naturally and effortless through his being (yep, we acted this way as babies, too)
The Benefits of Having Blogging Confidence
- live your dreams
Why are you blogging? To live your dreams. To be free. To have fun.
Well, when you build blogging confidence you get to appear on sites like:
I’ve been featured on each site. Without greasing palms. I think. Anyway, I am not trying to be confident. That’s Faking the Funk as my old skool rap icons would say. I am not working at it. I’m having fun. I feel freer by the day. So I am BEING confident, assured and bold through each blog post. I need NOTHING outside of me to line up in a set way to BE confident. I just AM. Most of the time, at least. Because I am loosey goosey, a Blogging from Paradise Buffoon who does fun stuff and does nothing else because I have outsourced all the outcome stuff to a Higher Power.
Let’s get into the tips, shall we?
1: Blog for Fun
I grin like the Cheshire Cat. Most of the day.
Like now. I filmed my blogging tip of the day 2 minutes ago. In HD video. Fun!
I’m writing a fun post. To inspire you. To express myself. Fun!
If it ain’t fun I ain’t doing it. Because by having fun I just *know* I’m doing a kick ass job. Because it doesn’t feel like a job. This blogging bit. Not at all.
The split second I move away from having fun as my only purpose for blogging I feel anxious, worried, a bit tense and lose my confidence because then I’m blogging to:
- make money
- get readers
- grow my list
- drive traffic
- get famous
- 101 other outcomes/conditions
The moment I give my energy to an outcome I lose my confidence. Because I base my confidence on that outcome. My self worth as a human or blogger rests entirely on:
- numbers in a bank account
- numbers in a WordPress backoffice
- the opinions of others
Do ya kinda get why Kelli and I are rare birds? Few bloggers on earth are driven by having fun. So they fall slave to outcomes. Outcomes which bitch smack them around. Outcomes which erode their confidence.
Rule 1 = Have fun. When you’re having fun you KNOW you’re doing good and you believe in you.
2: Blog for Freedom
Free people are not bound.
Free bloggers are not dependent on:
- the validation of others
- traffic stats
- income reports
- list stats
or any other outcome because the free blogging crowd blogs to be free, not to get favorable opinions of their work or not to increase their traffic or not to make more money blogging or not to get more subscribers.
Blogging to free you and to free your audience builds your confidence immeasurably because you will look within for unlimited confidence, versus looking outside of yourself for always changing stats, opinions of you and your blog, reviews, income fluctuations and all that stuff which makes most bloggers scream, “Uncle, uncle!”
BTW, here’s another way to release on outcomes. It’s so weird, this technique. But it works well. Watch me gab away in HD video from gorgeous Rivas, Costa Rica.
I wished to pour boiling oil on his head, through a Murder Hole (GOT fan here).
I had received a scathing review on 1 of my eBooks. Said reviewer pissed me off. After wishing death on his bloodline for the next 14 generations my confidence headed for the shitter. I believed in him and his opinion. So even though I had mad success online I felt deflated, timid and worried about my eBooks and blog because I was heavily bound (note; not FREE) to his opinion of me.
This incident occurred many moons ago.
The current day incarnation of me blogs to be free. I worry not about reviews or opinions; if they are high energy, great. If they are low energy, great. Who cares. I blog to free me. Not to bind myself to traffic stats or reviews or anything. I am confident and calm and assured because whatever happens outside of me – that has nothing to do with my confidence – I am free.
Guys, blog to free yourself. You’re already having a barrel of monkeys. Or monos, as they call ’em here in Costa Rica. Blog to free you and to free your audience. Write this reason on a piece of paper. Dwell on the freedom feeling. Watch your confidence skyrocket as you free yourself from confidence-deflating outcomes and foster the unchanging, eternal confidence fire which roars from within.
3: Blog Your Passion
I scrapped 3400 blog posts, a blog, a brand and an online prosperity stream in Savusavu, Fiji in 2014 to follow my PP. Oh stop it. You know what I mean. Hehe….I made a funny.
I trashed my old blog because I felt about as lifeless as The Walking Dead, before their morning coffee, anytime I published a post on my old blog. It was that bad.
But when I made the bold ass move to follow my PP – my Predominant Passion – damn did things turn around fast.
I *knew* all about blogging and traveling. I had a zest for each passion. I could talk about each all day long. I had the utmost confidence in blogging about each passion all day long.
If you’re passionate about something I betcha you feel darn confident talking about that something. Sports nutz know their stuff. Music nutz passionately and confidently gab about their love. Ditto for any niche.
Become a stupid confident blogger. Blog your passion. Let go the lame, lifeless, lackadaisical blog topic. Inject yourself with a cocktail of cyber caffeine.
What you can talk about all day long?
Blog about it all day long.
You know your shiznet. Why blog in a different direction? You’ll only lose confidence the moment you move away from what you feel energized and excited about. Which is why Blogging from Paradise took off so quickly.
4: Leave it all out there on the Blogging Floor
I am 100% against working.
I am 100% for playing.
Playing means having fun to me. Which means blogging for fun.
With that in mind, when you are really, really having fun you’ll leave it all out there on the blogging floor. Meaning you’ll do a smash up, inspired blogging job each time you post, confidently delivering on your promise to your audience.
Word Count Does Not Play a Part Here
Whether writing 500 or 5000 words, you can publish something which does a complete job solving some specific problem or offering some specific, life-changing benefit.
Seth Godin confidently does a phenomenal job in 100 to 300 words, or maybe, a few more. He leaves it all out on the floor.
Neil Patel confidently does a phenomenal job in 4,000 to 7,000 words, or maybe, more. He leaves it all out on the floor.
Whatever feels more playful and fun and freeing to you – 300 or 7,000 words or somewhere in between – run with it. Err toward 1,000 words or more if you want to get your writing practice in. But hey, if you can pull off brilliance and get the job done and leave it all out on the floor in 400 words please do so. Whatever you can do from a space of calm, confident energy, go for it.
5: Remind Yourself of the Countless Blogging Victories You Win Daily
OK, this is the Crutch Confidence Builder. Which is OK to use because last I looked we are all human beings.
If I am having a “blue” day (why do I feel like I’m appearing in a commercial aired during soap operas?) I may scan my sidebar. OK it has not sucked nor eroded my confidence in self to have appeared on Virgin Dot Com, Forbes and Neil Patel Dot Com. I feel kinda good about writing 123 bite-sized eBooks. I live in paradise. I am a full time digital nomad.
Not bad confidence builders.
I count my old school victories too like buying my domain and hosting 1,432 years ago and publishing my first post.
If you are a newbie blogger lacking confidence or if you are struggling as a vet to get your blogging faith back, here’s what you do:
- celebrate having a blog, a platform through which you can inspire folks
- celebrate publishing your most recent blog post
- celebrate reading this post, cutting your learning curve by minutes, months or years by learning lessons from a guy who had the confidence of a little person trying to guard Kristaps Porzingis in the post but who now has some confident blogging mojo going for him, living the dream and appearing on some pretty dang well known blogs
- celebrate every possible blogging victory, and I mean EVERY one! Leave no blogging stone unturned….first comments, first posts, first cent made, etc, etc, etc…to build that confident momentum my dawgs and dawgettes
- celebrate offline victories….if you are confident in areas not related to blogging you can become confident in all things blogging….same person, same energy, same free will, same decision-maker
My friend Sue Anne Dunlevie from Successful Blogging Dot Com had a fabulous victory the other day….she was featured on Neil Patel’s blog!
Build blogging confidence by….building blogging confidence, 1 victorious brick at a time.
6: Learn More about Me….The *Rest* of the Story that Is….and Apply to Your Blogging Journey
40,000 years ago me know how to:
- check email
- visit espn.com
Me no do 2 things 40,000 years ago.
Me no Cro Magnon Man.
Ok I knew how to check espn.com and email and knew nothing else about the online world before I became a blogger. Before I bought my domain and hosting forget about having no confidence in blogging: I’d no clue in Hades *what a blog was.*
I was lost. I was clueless. My confidence in self, in most areas of my life, could be neatly packaged into a shriveled raisin.
But here I am. Living the dream.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Now *that* is a confidence-builder.
A dull dolt to daring dynamo.
7: Outsource All Outcomes to Something Bigger
Seriously guys. You knew I had to go deeper within.
Atheists, tune out now. Or just trust in the process. Or just open up a bit.
One easy way I’ve gained confidence as a blogger (and spirit in a meat suit) is through the miracle of outsourcing. Except I’m not talking about Fiverr here. I ain’t talking about sending tasks to workers in the Philippines or India. I am talking about outsourcing outcomes to the Universe.
Here’s the deal: when most rational human beings spend 5 to 10 minutes meditating on:
- the earth
….something becomes apparent: the rhythm, the patterns and the order of it all points to some type of intelligent design. (Stick with me bloggers, stick with me.) As you dwell on that intelligent design something funny happens. You begin to observe how It has worked in your life. The:
- chance meeting
- out of the blue occurrence
- freak happening
…..all that stuff, well, it’s God or the Universe or Intelligent Design disguised in bullshit terms created by limited, “I live in a freaking small box” ego, or, by monkey mind.
If you decide to buy into this tip you will become supremely, almost infinitely, confident. Because the same force that created Everything and that makes the sun rise will be handling your blogging business. The Force (Star Wars fans) happens to be:
- all powerful
- beyond comprehension
I kinda take this attitude: I have fun, and You/Universe handle everything. You handle the:
- blog traffic
- blogging income
- any outcome
My blogging job is to be appreciative and to have fun and to allow fun and creative and exciting ideas in so I can act on them, and then, so I can rest up.
Outsourcing it all to The Universe is like taking the old school Mike Tyson to a street fight for back up. Gives ya supreme confidence. Because the former Baddest Man on the Planet is in your corner.
- Be appreciative
- Follow tips 1-6
- Laugh more
- Smile more
- Have fun
If you want Blogging Balls of Steel outsource your outcomes to the Universe and watch magic unfold before your eyes.
How do you gain blogging confidence?
Are you struggling to become a confident blogger?
Call to Action
If you are ravenously hungry to build that confident, fun-loving, calm mindset that leads to increased blogging success I delve heavily into the mindset aspect of blogging in my blogging audio course.
I devoted 4 of the 11 fundamentals to the inner game of blogging because few courses if any dive into this hyper critical, super important, foundational aspect of becoming a full time income earning, professional blogger.
Buy “11 Fundamentals of Successful Blogging” to skyrocket your blogging confidence and you’ll receive a free bonus audio course titled “10 Common Blogging Questions Answered by an Island Hopping Pro” (This free audio course is as in-depth and thorough as the primary course).
That’s your call to action for the day.
Oh yes, don’t forget to have banana shake too.
See you in the tropics!