How to Ditch the “Real World” to Live Your Dreams

February 15, 2016
I left the Real World to kiss a large fish. In Bali.
I left the Real World to kiss a large fish. In Bali.

 

I felt like I was being verbally assaulted by every cast member from The Departed.

His thick Boston accent delivered a dizzying deluge of F bombs.

He cursed all things professional. Maybe he liked his job. Some. But I spotted a tell tale sign the moment we prepared to land.

As I carefully removed the “F Them” spittle from my neck (he sat behind me on my plane ride from Costa Rica to New Jersey) he turned to a fellow passenger and blurted out:

Time to return to the Real World, eh?”

He didn’t mean the magical place inhabited by legendary characters like Eric Nies and Tammy. He was talking Sucksville. Ya know. That shitty place. The place where people primarily do stuff they want not to do to get paper with numbers on it, so they can transfer numbers to banks or utility companies to avoid being told that their house needs to be foreclosed, or, that their power is being shut down.

Weird existence, right? Strange existence. Good God I was on this hamster wheel in a galaxy far, far away. I was the head hamster honcho on this wheel, running around that sucker like a Katoey streetwalker hungry for farang man meat (visit Bangkok, you’ll get it).

Thank the gods of lore I only ran around that hellacious hamster wheel for like 33 years of my life. I did not like the Real World. So I exited stage left. To travel the world.

Before we progress, here’s the Biddulph definition of The Real World.

The Real World: that place where people do stuff they don’t want to do because they think they need to do it.

Cartoon Cat Eyes

 

When I strolled through immigration the TSA agent paged through my passport in awe.

Her eyes popped out like a cartoon cat. She asked me:

WHAT do you do? Because I need to do that.”

I explained my gig. Mentioned it involved tapping square keys and traveling the world. Or something like that. I even mentioned how 8 short years ago I too worked in the area, across the NJ Turnpike, at good old Maher Terminals in Port Newark.

Her eyes popped out. Even more. It scared me.

I think she saw possibility. I worked a similar (but seriously more lightweight) job. And I was able to leave the Real World.

Both the Beantown Bro and mesmerized TSA agent wanted to ditch the Real World. I suspect at least 1 other person or 4 billion may thirst to do the same.

I sprinted from my RWJ – Real World Job – like a cheetah on PEDs 8 years ago. I never looked back.

Here’s how……

1: Do What Feels Fun to You (DO NOT Chase Money)

 

Distinction Alert: once you follow this tip, the post title goes out the window. Because you will allow your fun to come to you. Versus trying to escape hell on earth. Or versus trying to evade Cerberus from Hades. Or versus trying to swim across the River Styx wearing a 500 pound weighted vest. (I waited 8 years to use those hell references.)

Allow in fun. Let it in. Do what feels fun to you.

Building your life around fun instead of *fuck this* detaches you from the Real World.

It’s going from disgust to delight.

The guy on the plane resisted his disgust. He hated the Real World. Yet he resisted it. Would not let it go. But the guy seated in front of him – aka me – decided to do what felt fun to him, so he could release The Job (and The Sob) to make room for Fun.

Tip

Sit in a quiet room. List 5 or 10 fun feeling activities. What do you most enjoy doing? That is your calling. That activity forms the bridge from The Real World to Your Dream Life.

Example; I have fun traveling. I have fun blogging. It took not the Amazing Kreskin to divine this.

Sports, weather, blogging, selling heat peanuts to appreciative elephants, whatever is fun to you, take that journey.

Whether you leave your job – or get fired (NOT that you’d do that to collect unemployment….wink, wink, wink) – or stay firmly ensconced for a minute is up to….your intuition.

2: Start a Blog

 

Note; you do not have to do this. I am mentioning it to maintain my SEO integrity. That’s a joke. I did it to remain on topic. Another joke. I feel blogging is the most fun, freeing way to express yourself online. That is the truth. As I see it.

Blogs are 1 stop shopping for readers.

Blogs house:

  • posts
  • pages
  • videos
  • pictures
  • eBooks
  • audio books
  • paperbacks
  • online courses
  • audio courses
  • podcasts
  • affiliate ventures
  • services

.and about 1 billion other possibilities for your readers.

Blogs are fun freedom machines.

Case in point: because I sometimes tap little square keys with my fingers I can live in Fiji for 4 months. Or I can spend a year in Bali. Or a year in Thailand. Or 4 months in Costa Rica.

My office is anywhere with WiFi. And even non-Wifi spots.

Practically speaking, blogs are fun outlets. You get to play and write and film videos and have a ball. You get to create products and services. But I shall not dive into the HOW or WHAT of this transition too deeply. Because HAVING FUN and TRUSTING are the only states of BEING to achieve, to make the quantum leap from Raging Real World Minion to Dazzling Dream Living Dude or Dame (sounds weird, right?).

3: Cultivate the Attitude of Trust in The Universe

 

From personal experience, #1 and #3 are the foundation of shaking the bad cold or crab grass known as the Real World. You know how stubborn crabgrass is. Curse the lawn gods! Ditto with a bad cold. I once experienced a hacking cough for 6 weeks when I worked my pier guard job. Don’t worry; I took a break from coughing. Twas not one consecutive cough.

 

Hua Hin Thailand. I shrunk to being 8 inches tall for this shot.
Hua Hin Thailand. I shrunk to being 8 inches tall for this shot.

 

Leaving the Real World behind required me to shift my trust. I ceased trusting 100% in things and slowly but surely trusted in The Universe.

I ceased to fully trust in RWL: Real World Lies. Like believing my job was the source of my money. Or that my fate rested in my boss’s hands.

As a rule, if you’re living in the Real World you believe more in things than in God. Because once you trust more in an omnipresent, infinite Force (Star Wars reference) than you trust in things, you shall begin your transition from a life you want to leave to your dream life, young Padawan.

Tips

  • meditate daily
  • breathe deeply a few times daily; doing this establishes presence of mind
  • build an appreciation list; feeling appreciative moves your attention to the Source of everything

Being in the moment reveals illusory thinking. Or, in the here and now, you see the truth. One such trust is: all flows from Source. Or, freaking trust in the Universe. It’s got your back. It’s got everybody’s back. The General Manager. The Wizard Behind the Curtain. The Puppet Master.

Your job? Have fun. Outsource the rest.

Guys, Good Old Universe put me on Richard Branson’s Virgin blog, Forbes, and Neil Patel’s blog while I sat on my ass in the jungles of Costa Rica. Unfortunately, I was likely sitting on a vile outhouse “toilet” at the time. Anyway, I worked about 1-3 hours a week each Friday, checking email and publishing blog posts, and doing NOTHING else for the remaining days of the week, and appeared on some of the most popular blogs on earth.

Trust. My kittens.

4: Extra Extra!

 

I am bizarre.

Here and there I yell out the phrase: “Extra extra!” Like a diligent paperboy hawking his wares, I’m yelling EXTRA. But instead of selling The Daily Bugle I repeat my “extra” mantra to see everything as a bonus. Or, as extra.

Doing this helps me feel more whole and complete. Feeling more whole and complete helps me not to NEED anything. Because if I feel whole, everything’s a bonus. You can’t add whole to wholeness. You can’t complete completeness. So my blog, my email, my social accounts, and stuff like food and money are just extras. With or without them, I’m good.

I developed this attitude a handful of months ago. Something funny happened: when I didn’t NEED any of this stuff, it appeared with like 1/50th of the effort I used to exert to “get stuff I needed.” (Thank you, Universe!)

Your Application

You see where I’m headed of course…..but to drill the point home, you don’t need:

  • your job
  • money
  • health benefits
  • to live in the Real World

You are whole and complete. Life will continue in a ducky fashion if you leave the Real World behind. You are no pivotal cog. Sorry ego.

As you slowly accept this attitude you will release on your heavy, vice-like attachment to this stuff. You begin to allow in the ideas, people and circumstances to create your dream life. Because you’re whole and complete, and the job and money and bills and all the shit you put up with is extra.

I give you permission. You can leave the extra stuff behind.

When you re-read this tip – as you should – you will experience what I eloquently deem a “mind fuck.” Your mind will rebel, vociferously stating your crucial needs. I offer this advice: fuck your mind. Or be compassionate, gentle and loving with your mind. But here and there you shall leave it behind.

The mind lives outside in. As do all Real World folks. But we island hopping fools live inside out. We be a certain way. And circumstances manifest. Ain’t the other way around. We don’t do the *needs* thing here. Cramps our style. Weakens our pimp hands (metaphorically speaking). Slows our mojo.

Follow your fun, guys.

Some folks love their jobs. This crowd ain’t in the Real World. They live their dreams.

If however you – like my Bean Town buddy and TSA comrade – want to sprint from your job to do something fun, you have a fab little energetic primer here to migrate from being wee employee to world traveler.

Links

Dig my writing? Imagine listening to me gab. I’ve been told by enough readers in an offline setting that I write how I speak. For better or worse. So you may be mildly entertained by my blogging audio course.

This blogging specific course is a fun, entertaining listen HEAVILY focused on the inner world of blogging. Ideal listen – methinks at least – for the Real Worlders who are thirsting to leave the 9-5 behind….for good. Good background noise for when you’re chopping up a coconut for your next fresh shake. Please enjoy one. Now. The shake. And the course.

Oh yes. In case you forget. I wrote a few bite-sized eBooks on the topic of leaving your job behind. Oh hell. I wrote 123 eBooks devoted to the topic of Blogging from Paradise.

Just visit my author library on Amazon. And go wild.

And if you prefer to hear actors and producers and other melodious types speak my words visit the Blogging from Paradise library on iTunes.

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Ryan Biddulph

Ryan Biddulph is a blogger, author and world traveler who's been featured on Richard Branson's Virgin Blog, Forbes, Fox News, Entrepreneur Dot Com and Neil Patel Dot Com. He has written and self-published 126 bite-sized eBooks on Amazon to help you with your most painful blogging mistakes. If you're struggling with your blog and feel overwhelmed with blogging information overload, Ryan can help you increase your blog traffic, comments and online income with the 11 Fundamentals of Successful Blogging Audio Course.
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20 Comments

  1. Linzi Clark Says:

    Great post – what we all really want is freedom but we are so conditioned into believing in the “system” that it’s hard to let go of the known. Having said that, there are some office jobs that are really fulfilling even though it’s not working from the beach…….

  2. Hi Ryan,
    Superb Article! Thanks for sharing a way out of boring life.

    Goodluck
    Akash

  3. Kim Willis Says:

    Hi Ryan

    I offer 4 words: ‘let go, let god’

    That’s all

    Kim

    • That is it Kim. That is it. 4 words. Fun. Freedom.

  4. Duke Stewart Says:

    “The Real World: that place where people do stuff they don’t want to do because they think they need to do it.”

    I’m not alone in loving this definition but have to tell you! This is so true. I’ve been forging my own world since returning home from Korea and let me tell you, it’s scary but free at the same time. I hope you’re enjoying your time at home and I’m looking forward to where you next adventure takes you, Ryan.

    Take care and all the best.

    P.S. Thanks for the inspiration!

  5. Brent Jones Says:

    “The Real World: that place where people do stuff they don’t want to do because they think they need to do it.”

    ^ Yes!

    Ah, Ryan… this might be my favorite post that you have published to date.

    (Well, at least out of the dozen or so I’ve read in recent history…)

    This is what I have tried to explain to friends and family and former co-workers who thought I was crazy to quit my job.

    I’m not averse to chasing pieces of paper with numbers of them (as you put it), but I am averse to doing something I don’t enjoy for the rest of my life so someone else can collect even more of those pieces of paper.

    I think business — whether you are a freelancer, blogger, or otherwise — should always be a vehicle to accomplish your personal goals.

    Begin with the end in mind, and work backwards.

    And who knows?

    Maybe I’ll meet up with you in Thailand one day.

    My wife and I traveled a fair bit this past year, and are currently planning our adventures for this year. Next on our list is a Europe trip — probably this summer.

    Chat soon,

    Brent

    • I look forward to seeing you on the road Brent; you’re well on your way to being a part time nomad 😉 Thanks for the awesome comment.

  6. Hello Ryan,

    I am totally agreed with you. The “Real World” has too many problems and obstacles, which keeps us away from achieving the goal. When i joined local BPO company, i thought i am going to earn satisfaction from that job. But i was wrong.

    So, after realizing the real reason behind dissatisfaction ( I was not interested in Job), i started a blog. And whoa! It was getting huge traffic after following the simple tips by PRO bloggers. That time, i realised my real passion was writing.

    Thanks for this post Ryan!

    • Sandip that is GREAT to hear! Keep up the inspired blogging play.

  7. Hi Ryan Sir!
    Nice meeting you here!

    This post is really lovable. As you mentioned here that blogging is the most. Really, I agree with you because it is the way to express our self online among the people.

    Thanks!
    – Ravi

  8. Tom Watts Says:

    Hey Ryan,

    First of all, sorry for my absence recently. I’ve got some cool stuff I’m working on – which IS fun – but it definitely takes a lot of time!

    Anyway, here’s my two cents for today;

    “Find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life” – I’m not sure where this quote originates, but it’s advice that has stuck with me for years. Unfortunately, the jobs that we qualify for and are capable of doing aren’t always the most fun.

    For me, a 9 to 5 is a way to fund the fun. That’s just the way it goes for most of us. But would I prefer a 9 to 5 where the work is the source of the fun? Absolutely.

    The only enjoyment I’ve ever gained from punching calculator keys is making other people’s lives easier. And by easier, I mean by letting them keep more of the money they’d already earned. Money they worked 9 to 5 for. Money to pay for their fun.

    That’s why I want to improve my blogging, while also helping other people with what I write. I hope that my blogging will be the main source of fun for the future, but as I mentioned I’m working on other stuff which I enjoy immensely too.

    My goal is eventually be in control of my fun and money, and be helping others to do the same, much in the same way that you do.

    Aside from blogging, I’m also working with some people to develop a tool to help bloggers reach more people, more easily (Run sequence: shameless plug) and I’d really value your input on the project. Now, I understand you’re busy having your fun, but if you can spare a minute, you have my email address; hit me up!

    Thanks for this post, it was extremely positive, just the way I like it. As always it was a pleasure to read it!

    Talk soon,
    Tom

    • Great to see you Tom 🙂 Please feel free to plug; you know I’m as shameless as they come lol……thanks for the fab comment and keep on rocking it out!

  9. Hey Ryan!

    Loved this! You’re so right: to most of us, the “real world” means that super shitty place we live in. Not cause we want to but because we have to.

    Like Sue Anne mentioned, I need to work on trust and letting go. Trusting I’ve made the right decisions when it comes to my career. I recently received an email from a recruiter to interview for an editorial position with a local company. The pay was pretty good, but it was a typical 9-5 job that would take me out of the home. Who would pick up the kids from school? And even if I had someone, would I want to stop being the one to pick them up and help them with homework? I wouldn’t be there for field trips anymore

    Needless to say, I turned it down. I trust it was the right decision. Even if the pay was more than I currently make, there were just too many negatives to make it worthwhile.

    I also need to make time to meditate more. It’s been on my goal list for the year.

    Corinne

    • Awesome stuff Corinne. When your intuition guides you, all decisions are good money. Thanks much!

  10. Don Purdum Says:

    Hi Ryan,

    It’s really incredible to sit back and think about all the people that are chasing the cheese in the rat race.

    These days I’m working more and more with highly skilled and successful entrepreneurs. You know, the kind who’s companies are $25-$50 million per year in revenue.

    I’ll be honest with you. It’s freeing! There isn’t a lot of nonesense. They want to be on message and they want to be even more successful and they want a way to discover how to give back.

    I love working with people who don’t have barrier’s or money problems.

    I love that you were able to share with the TSA agent just by her glancing at your passport.

    That must have felt really good to share your story with her. I do hope you inspired her.

    Were you able to give her your website address?

    It’s awesome and freeing and I love your message Ryan.

    Keep up the amazing work!!!!

    ~ Don Purdum

    • Don it’s been SO much fun to see you expand into the stratosphere. That’s it, that’s the secret. You got super clear and let in those folks who have a similar vision. Matches. Folks who have no barriers, who are ready to work with you. Love it. Thanks much for your comment and oh yes; she took down my domain name 😉

  11. Hi Ryan,

    Fabulous post! I especially love #3; as bloggers we tend to want to control everything

    Thanks for the entertaining post and great tips!
    Sue