I felt like I was being verbally assaulted by every cast member from The Departed.
His thick Boston accent delivered a dizzying deluge of F bombs.
He cursed all things professional. Maybe he liked his job. Some. But I spotted a tell tale sign the moment we prepared to land.
As I carefully removed the “F Them” spittle from my neck (he sat behind me on my plane ride from Costa Rica to New Jersey) he turned to a fellow passenger and blurted out:
“Time to return to the Real World, eh?”
He didn’t mean the magical place inhabited by legendary characters like Eric Nies and Tammy. He was talking Sucksville. Ya know. That shitty place. The place where people primarily do stuff they want not to do to get paper with numbers on it, so they can transfer numbers to banks or utility companies to avoid being told that their house needs to be foreclosed, or, that their power is being shut down.
Weird existence, right? Strange existence. Good God I was on this hamster wheel in a galaxy far, far away. I was the head hamster honcho on this wheel, running around that sucker like a Katoey streetwalker hungry for farang man meat (visit Bangkok, you’ll get it).
Thank the gods of lore I only ran around that hellacious hamster wheel for like 33 years of my life. I did not like the Real World. So I exited stage left. To travel the world.
Before we progress, here’s the Biddulph definition of The Real World.
The Real World: that place where people do stuff they don’t want to do because they think they need to do it.
Cartoon Cat Eyes
When I strolled through immigration the TSA agent paged through my passport in awe.
Her eyes popped out like a cartoon cat. She asked me:
“WHAT do you do? Because I need to do that.”
I explained my gig. Mentioned it involved tapping square keys and traveling the world. Or something like that. I even mentioned how 8 short years ago I too worked in the area, across the NJ Turnpike, at good old Maher Terminals in Port Newark.
Her eyes popped out. Even more. It scared me.
I think she saw possibility. I worked a similar (but seriously more lightweight) job. And I was able to leave the Real World.
Both the Beantown Bro and mesmerized TSA agent wanted to ditch the Real World. I suspect at least 1 other person or 4 billion may thirst to do the same.
I sprinted from my RWJ – Real World Job – like a cheetah on PEDs 8 years ago. I never looked back.
1: Do What Feels Fun to You (DO NOT Chase Money)
Distinction Alert: once you follow this tip, the post title goes out the window. Because you will allow your fun to come to you. Versus trying to escape hell on earth. Or versus trying to evade Cerberus from Hades. Or versus trying to swim across the River Styx wearing a 500 pound weighted vest. (I waited 8 years to use those hell references.)
Allow in fun. Let it in. Do what feels fun to you.
Building your life around fun instead of *fuck this* detaches you from the Real World.
It’s going from disgust to delight.
The guy on the plane resisted his disgust. He hated the Real World. Yet he resisted it. Would not let it go. But the guy seated in front of him – aka me – decided to do what felt fun to him, so he could release The Job (and The Sob) to make room for Fun.
Sit in a quiet room. List 5 or 10 fun feeling activities. What do you most enjoy doing? That is your calling. That activity forms the bridge from The Real World to Your Dream Life.
Example; I have fun traveling. I have fun blogging. It took not the Amazing Kreskin to divine this.
Sports, weather, blogging, selling heat peanuts to appreciative elephants, whatever is fun to you, take that journey.
Whether you leave your job – or get fired (NOT that you’d do that to collect unemployment….wink, wink, wink) – or stay firmly ensconced for a minute is up to….your intuition.
2: Start a Blog
Note; you do not have to do this. I am mentioning it to maintain my SEO integrity. That’s a joke. I did it to remain on topic. Another joke. I feel blogging is the most fun, freeing way to express yourself online. That is the truth. As I see it.
Blogs are 1 stop shopping for readers.
- audio books
- online courses
- audio courses
- affiliate ventures
….and about 1 billion other possibilities for your readers.
Blogs are fun freedom machines.
Case in point: because I sometimes tap little square keys with my fingers I can live in Fiji for 4 months. Or I can spend a year in Bali. Or a year in Thailand. Or 4 months in Costa Rica.
My office is anywhere with WiFi. And even non-Wifi spots.
Practically speaking, blogs are fun outlets. You get to play and write and film videos and have a ball. You get to create products and services. But I shall not dive into the HOW or WHAT of this transition too deeply. Because HAVING FUN and TRUSTING are the only states of BEING to achieve, to make the quantum leap from Raging Real World Minion to Dazzling Dream Living Dude or Dame (sounds weird, right?).
3: Cultivate the Attitude of Trust in The Universe
From personal experience, #1 and #3 are the foundation of shaking the bad cold or crab grass known as the Real World. You know how stubborn crabgrass is. Curse the lawn gods! Ditto with a bad cold. I once experienced a hacking cough for 6 weeks when I worked my pier guard job. Don’t worry; I took a break from coughing. Twas not one consecutive cough.
Leaving the Real World behind required me to shift my trust. I ceased trusting 100% in things and slowly but surely trusted in The Universe.
I ceased to fully trust in RWL: Real World Lies. Like believing my job was the source of my money. Or that my fate rested in my boss’s hands.
As a rule, if you’re living in the Real World you believe more in things than in God. Because once you trust more in an omnipresent, infinite Force (Star Wars reference) than you trust in things, you shall begin your transition from a life you want to leave to your dream life, young Padawan.
- meditate daily
- breathe deeply a few times daily; doing this establishes presence of mind
- build an appreciation list; feeling appreciative moves your attention to the Source of everything
Being in the moment reveals illusory thinking. Or, in the here and now, you see the truth. One such trust is: all flows from Source. Or, freaking trust in the Universe. It’s got your back. It’s got everybody’s back. The General Manager. The Wizard Behind the Curtain. The Puppet Master.
Your job? Have fun. Outsource the rest.
Guys, Good Old Universe put me on Richard Branson’s Virgin blog, Forbes, and Neil Patel’s blog while I sat on my ass in the jungles of Costa Rica. Unfortunately, I was likely sitting on a vile outhouse “toilet” at the time. Anyway, I worked about 1-3 hours a week each Friday, checking email and publishing blog posts, and doing NOTHING else for the remaining days of the week, and appeared on some of the most popular blogs on earth.
Trust. My kittens.
4: Extra Extra!
I am bizarre.
Here and there I yell out the phrase: “Extra extra!” Like a diligent paperboy hawking his wares, I’m yelling EXTRA. But instead of selling The Daily Bugle I repeat my “extra” mantra to see everything as a bonus. Or, as extra.
Doing this helps me feel more whole and complete. Feeling more whole and complete helps me not to NEED anything. Because if I feel whole, everything’s a bonus. You can’t add whole to wholeness. You can’t complete completeness. So my blog, my email, my social accounts, and stuff like food and money are just extras. With or without them, I’m good.
I developed this attitude a handful of months ago. Something funny happened: when I didn’t NEED any of this stuff, it appeared with like 1/50th of the effort I used to exert to “get stuff I needed.” (Thank you, Universe!)
You see where I’m headed of course…..but to drill the point home, you don’t need:
- your job
- health benefits
- to live in the Real World
You are whole and complete. Life will continue in a ducky fashion if you leave the Real World behind. You are no pivotal cog. Sorry ego.
As you slowly accept this attitude you will release on your heavy, vice-like attachment to this stuff. You begin to allow in the ideas, people and circumstances to create your dream life. Because you’re whole and complete, and the job and money and bills and all the shit you put up with is extra.
I give you permission. You can leave the extra stuff behind.
When you re-read this tip – as you should – you will experience what I eloquently deem a “mind fuck.” Your mind will rebel, vociferously stating your crucial needs. I offer this advice: fuck your mind. Or be compassionate, gentle and loving with your mind. But here and there you shall leave it behind.
The mind lives outside in. As do all Real World folks. But we island hopping fools live inside out. We be a certain way. And circumstances manifest. Ain’t the other way around. We don’t do the *needs* thing here. Cramps our style. Weakens our pimp hands (metaphorically speaking). Slows our mojo.
Follow your fun, guys.
Some folks love their jobs. This crowd ain’t in the Real World. They live their dreams.
If however you – like my Bean Town buddy and TSA comrade – want to sprint from your job to do something fun, you have a fab little energetic primer here to migrate from being wee employee to world traveler.
Dig my writing? Imagine listening to me gab. I’ve been told by enough readers in an offline setting that I write how I speak. For better or worse. So you may be mildly entertained by my blogging audio course.
This blogging specific course is a fun, entertaining listen HEAVILY focused on the inner world of blogging. Ideal listen – methinks at least – for the Real Worlders who are thirsting to leave the 9-5 behind….for good. Good background noise for when you’re chopping up a coconut for your next fresh shake. Please enjoy one. Now. The shake. And the course.
Oh yes. In case you forget. I wrote a few bite-sized eBooks on the topic of leaving your job behind. Oh hell. I wrote 123 eBooks devoted to the topic of Blogging from Paradise.
Just visit my author library on Amazon. And go wild.
And if you prefer to hear actors and producers and other melodious types speak my words visit the Blogging from Paradise library on iTunes.
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